which job would you rather do?

[dank69]

What's the difference between "railroad" and "train"? Or by "railroad" do you mean "train" and by "train" do you mean "subway"?

 

[fstime]

I would only make the move if you are struggling financially or just barely getting by. To me, quality of life is more important than a few extra bucks.

Commuting over 2 hours a day sounds horrible to me. Forget when other commuters say "get used to it." That is just a poor excuse for accepting the poor situation they are in.

It all comes down to how you are wired. The majority of people are brainwashed into a work, work, work mentality all for the dollar bill and quickly forget the other joys of life which do not involve money. If you want to lease a new car every 2 years, its most likely the case that you fall under this category. Others can enjoy themselves with much less than others. Unfortunately, a materialistic society makes those people less common every day.

 

[vi edit]

As others have suggested, do the math on the real bump to the bottom line. After taxes, a possible bump of income brackets, commuting costs, costs of buying a lunch instead of eating at home, ect you really aren't gaining much at all.

And you are losing hours of time a day.

Math doesn't add up to me. And I HATE long commutes.

 

[HydroSqueegee]

I had a job with a 45 min commute one way. Quit after a month. fuck. that. now i work 7min door to door. its a quite nice 2.2 mile drive to the office. i really should just get a bike.

the 50/50 thing still boggles my mind. for 2 well paid professionals i can kinda see it. But when trying to run a family, i cant really grasp it. My wife works part time, i work full time and make roughly 5x what she brings home. All our cash goes into the same bank account. she gets the same amount of play money as i do every pay day to blow on whatever. We make a middle class living in the midwest, so we're not loaded, but we live a cushy life.

stay home and live life with your kids. it will make you feel better in the long run. toys are nice, but cant compare to your kids. Do some odd jobs. Freelance or something if you want more $$$.

 

[Koing]

I had a job with a 45 min commute one way. Quit after a month. fuck. that. now i work 7min door to door. its a quite nice 2.2 mile drive to the office. i really should just get a bike.

the 50/50 thing still boggles my mind. for 2 well paid professionals i can kinda see it. But when trying to run a family, i cant really grasp it. My wife works part time, i work full time and make roughly 5x what she brings home. All our cash goes into the same bank account. she gets the same amount of play money as i do every pay day to blow on whatever. We make a middle class living in the midwest, so we're not loaded, but we live a cushy life.

stay home and live life with your kids. it will make you feel better in the long run. toys are nice, but cant compare to your kids. Do some odd jobs. Freelance or something if you want more $$$.

But would it be different if you earned 5x less than your wife? Would you feel comfortable having as much play money as your wife in your scenario?

In the OPs scenario he earns less than his wife but he wants to have more money to spend on luxuries and doesn't feel comfortable using his wifes money on it.

I don't think I'd be comfortable spending more of my wifes money on luxury items. House repairs, stuff for the kids yes, but not luxury stuff that I would mainly enjoy. The issue is probably due to the way men are brought up to be the bread winners as well. If the OP was a woman she would probably not feel so bad about spending a bit more of her husbands money?

I have a mate who is a stay at home dad (the only one I know of but I'm sure the % are small). His wife makes more £££ than he would so it makes sense for her to work and him to stay at home until he is older.

Koing

 

[rh71]

What's the difference between "railroad" and "train"? Or by "railroad" do you mean "train" and by "train" do you mean "subway"?

yes "train" was subway. Long Island Rail Road... we call that both the railroad and train here.

But would it be different if you earned 5x less than your wife? Would you feel comfortable having as much play money as your wife in your scenario?

In the OPs scenario he earns less than his wife but he wants to have more money to spend on luxuries and doesn't feel comfortable using his wifes money on it.

That's exactly it. When I bought my car 4 years ago, it was all my decision and I paid cash. What would happen if we shared money? Exactly... "honey can I please buy my new car?" It's also why she ended up having to pay more for this house from her side 3 years later, but that's a whole other way of thinking about it. Simply put, I can do whatever I want with my money as long as there's left-over for family expenditures (my responsibility to know how much). The only inconvenience is once a month I tally everything and I tell her how much she should throw into our joint account after I do it myself. We are not any less of a married couple for doing a "joint account" that way.

 

[vi edit]

That's exactly it. When I bought my car 4 years ago, it was all my decision and I paid cash. What would happen if we shared money? Exactly... "honey can I please buy my new car?" It's also why she ended up having to pay more for this house from her side 3 years later, but that's a whole other way of thinking about it. Simply put, I can do whatever I want with my money as long as there's left-over for family stuff.

This is a whole 'nuther thread of topic (that has actually been discussed before) but what happens for stuff like vacation money, high medical expenses, retirement funds, ect?

I've just never understood the concept of his & hers money. You're married. Not roomates.

 

[rh71]

This is a whole 'nuther thread of topic (that has actually been discussed before) but what happens for stuff like vacation money, high medical expenses, retirement funds, ect?

I've just never understood the concept of his & hers money. You're married. Not roomates.

We just got back from a vacation actually. I withdrew my cash and she did hers before heading out - we do have 2 separate wallets right? She had to hit the ATM while there (damn Canadian exchanges!) and after we got back I just asked her how much she took out in total and I added that to my total, divided by 2 and I made up the difference back to her. We spent an equal amount. Other things went onto the joint credit card which is paid by both of us too.

We've never had a roommate... so it doesn't feel like that to us.

Retirement funds... didn't think that far ahead... I have more 401k than her... when we're old and living life on cruise ships... I'm sure whoever has the money to pay for things will just pay it. Just like now when she had more money to pay for the house she did it. It's not a situation where it's pay or else you don't get it. We're married, right? It's just fun money we're talking about that is separated. Otherwise, it's essentially joint money except we have to actively put it in.

Let me ask you - if you do money in one pool as a couple (especially if you make an equal amount), do you have to get permission to buy toys?

 

[blackdogdeek]

my advice would be to wait until the kids start school and see how you feel then. you wouldn't see them during the morning/early afternoons anyway at that point. it sounds like it's only a year a way.

i can tell you that my wife went from stay at home mom, back to full-time working, then back to stay at home mom and she puts the experience like this:

when i was at work i always wished i were at home with the kids. now that i'm back at home with the kids i've NEVER wished i were back at work.

and it was VERY NICE having that second income. they even called her back after a year and offered her a promotion to come back to work and offered her 4 days of work from home and she turned them down.

 

[Ns1]

I had a job with a 45 min commute one way. Quit after a month. fuck. that. now i work 7min door to door. its a quite nice 2.2 mile drive to the office. i really should just get a bike.

Only get the bike if you have shower facilities at work (assuming you have to be dressed biz casual++. If you're dressing casual @ work then who gives a shit)

 

[HydroSqueegee]

But would it be different if you earned 5x less than your wife? Would you feel comfortable having as much play money as your wife in your scenario?

In the OPs scenario he earns less than his wife but he wants to have more money to spend on luxuries and doesn't feel comfortable using his wifes money on it.

I don't think I'd be comfortable spending more of my wifes money on luxury items. House repairs, stuff for the kids yes, but not luxury stuff that I would mainly enjoy. The issue is probably due to the way men are brought up to be the bread winners as well. If the OP was a woman she would probably not feel so bad about spending a bit more of her husbands money?

I have a mate who is a stay at home dad (the only one I know of but I'm sure the % are small). His wife makes more £££ than he would so it makes sense for her to work and him to stay at home until he is older.

Koing

well its not a question of the money being mine or hers. its OUR money. she does just as much at home as a full time job taking care of the house, kids, grocery and meal planning... she may not be earning while at home, but shes no slacker. Now if she barely worked and did nothing around the house i may get bitter. But since we both do what we do and our relationship is a joint effort, the money will both be ours and we both deserve the same amount of play money.

 

[Ns1]

well its not a question of the money being mine or hers. its OUR money. she does just as much at home as a full time job taking care of the house, kids, grocery and meal planning... she may not be earning while at home, but shes no slacker. Now if she barely worked and did nothing around the house i may get bitter. But since we both do what we do and our relationship is a joint effort, the money will both be ours and we both deserve the same amount of play money.

+1

 

[rh71]

well its not a question of the money being mine or hers. its OUR money. she does just as much at home as a full time job taking care of the house, kids, grocery and meal planning... she may not be earning while at home, but shes no slacker. Now if she barely worked and did nothing around the house i may get bitter. But since we both do what we do and our relationship is a joint effort, the money will both be ours and we both deserve the same amount of play money.

Can't really compare a single income vs. dual when talking about sharing money. Obviously in your situation you have to share, equally.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Sounds like some of you have pretty crazy schedule, I'm glad mine is more basic, but guess that's the bonus of being single.

I go to work, and the rest of the time do whatever I want. I like doing various DIY projects around the house and stuff when I'm off, as well, or just watch TV or game.

I love my job because of the shift work too so I get lot of time off. I'd hate to go back to 8x5 again, though I always have to keep that in the back of my mind that it could happen if ever I lose this job since shift work jobs like this are far and few between, so I try to make the best of the time I have now since I may not always have all this free time.

 

[Ns1]

Can't really compare a single income vs. dual when talking about sharing money.

Does not compute.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

The grass is always greener. rh71, most of America would kill for your situation. I don't agree with how you 'split expenses' with your wife but, if it works for you that's all that matters. As far as buying toys, the only catch is can we afford it. It doesn't matter who it's for or who got the last toy.

 

[brianmanahan]

you must not know much about web development.

no, i do. but lots of people say web development when they really just mean design.

(i probably know more than you)

 

[rh71]

no, i do. but lots of people say web development when they really just mean design.

(i probably know more than you)

does it make a difference in this case? It's web applications - databases, that sort of thing. In my opinion, design involves creativity which could mean more money anyway.

As far as buying toys, the only catch is can we afford it. It doesn't matter who it's for or who got the last toy.

We don't have to run it by each other first.

 

[brianmanahan]

In my opinion, design involves creativity which could mean more money anyway.

it doesnt though, not usually

because (most) designers cant think logically and thus cant write code for crap

 

[coloumb]

I would keep your current job only because I have too have a job that allows me to work from home unless I get paged to go the customer site [which is a 4-8 hour response time depending upon the contract]. I only go into the local office if I have to pick up a part, attend a meeting, or the boss wants me to come in.

The only way I would take the 2nd job is if it paid at least 2x the amount I currently make now.

 

[ultimatebob]

Do you feel like your existing work from home job is safe, rh71?

If you still work where I think you work, I'd be worried. They're always trying to outsource work overseas, and work that can be done 100% remote is an easy target.

I got a $30K pay raise when I left that evil place. Even though I had above average performance ratings every year, my pay wasn't even keeping up with inflation.

 

[rh71]

Do you feel like your existing work from home job is safe, rh71?

If you still work where I think you work, I'd be worried. They're always trying to outsource work overseas, and work that can be done 100% remote is an easy target.

I got a $30K pay raise when I left that evil place. Even though I had above average performance ratings every year, my pay wasn't even keeping up with inflation.

it's safe for now as I am on a customer-facing account... half wishing they'd kick me out so I can do this with no regret. The dark cloud has been looming for well over 5 years and I'm just immune to the feeling by now. Also this account has had a terrible experience with overseas help, much to our delight. Communication, ability to learn quickly, etc. Just terribly unreliable work and we've had to fix their mistakes.

Are you able to get some of the same freedoms where you are now? That'd be the biggest change for me.

 

[RaistlinZ]

30's are your key earning years. You should be working hard now, doing the commutes, making top dollar so you won't have to work so hard 20 years from now. If you can make an extra $30,000/yr that'll be huge for your retirement savings, or money that can go to your kid's college fund.

Take the job. Build some new skills. Have sex with wife on a pile of money. Profit.