interesting that all are for what I currently have - I guess the grass is always greener indeed because everyone at this company complains about the same thing but most don't have the option of NYC salaries so they easily stay.
My kids are now 4, one more year of daycare then kindergarten and onward for free which will be a huge financial relief (twins are obviously more money and at the same time). But it's still not enough for me to just spend an extra few hundred a month on a car. It's not keeping up with the Joneses type of thing - I just like cars a lot. I am not doing it "just for the money". I would be doing it to enjoy life and to me it buys MORE happiness. But you're probably right, not at the expense of grueling commutes because you guys would know better.
As for splitting 50/50 bills, it's really only fair. It's funny - at one point I actually made more than my wife. Those jobs in NYC pay stupid bonuses on top of raises every year so she quickly surpassed me. She depresses me too I guess you could say.
Sounds like daycare cost isn't as big a factor, then. That would sway me towards the higher paying job somewhat too.
Background:
-35, married, wife works as a freelance photographer. She worked full-time before, but she focused on her freelance biz to control her time before we started trying to have a baby. Now she has the biz but doesn't work full-time.
-1 kid(2 months old baby)
-I work 50% from home. The other 50%? I drive 1 hr each way. In a Z28. Not in love with my $350/mo gas expense. I rationalize this as it not being that much worse than people who drive 30 mins each way to work, 5 days a week.
I don't agree that 50/50 is always fair. Though I know personally a few couples that do this. It sounds to me like you two had an agreement: she works in the city to make more money, you work from home to spend more time with the kids. Maybe you sacrificed your career somewhat, maybe not. I know that my wife put the child rearing ahead of her earning potential, so we don't have that 50/50 deal(we have a joint account) and I don't feel the 50/50 deal would be a fair arrangement for us. It'd break my heart if my wife ever told me she feels like she herself is just getting by.
Basically, I don't think it's wrong to get your wife to shoulder more of the car payment, if it's important enough and it doesn't compromise the core financial goals in life.
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