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When you go in to work, does anybody ever tell you,

Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.
 
yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh...

I'm gonna need you to come on in on Sunday too, yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah...kay, thanks.

I'm just not going to go to work.
Are you quiting?
No, I'm just not going to go

You see, every day is worse than the day before. So essentially every single day is the worst day of my life.
That's pretty fucked up.
 
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
 
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