What's the worst date you've ever had?

[OdiN]

We had one in 2003?

Repost.

 

[huberm]

i met this girl on some online forum and she seemed pretty nice, so I agreed to a date. I never saw a picture of her, she said she didn't have any means to get one on her computer, but she said she was cute. I figured what the heck if she says shes cute she must be somewhat cute.

So I go to pick her up and she is pretty ugly, and a little bit overweight. I'm the kinda guy that doesn't really care to hurt people's feelings if I don't have to, so I didn't say anything and continued the date.

To make a long story short, it had been a while since I'd gotten any, so after the date I did her in spite of her ugliness.

 

[VirginiaDonkey]

huberm FTW!!!!!

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: SampSon
Did you at least have sex with her?
You should have only said one thing after the bathroom break, "sex?, y/n". After that no further conversation would be required.

me? goodness no

 

[Shadowknight]

Originally posted by: DigDug
I show up at the restaurant that we agreed to meet at, and this girl was there .....in all her BUSTED glory. I'm not talking plain-looking, but fugly. She had bulging eyes the suggested some sort of hyperthyroidism, and a nose that looked pig-like. I'm pretty sure I visibly cringed upon seeing her, and I think she saw it because she gave me attitude the whole night. The funny thing was that I could tell people were looking at us and going "what the F!CK is that dude doing with her." And its not like I'm gorgeous either.

The hardest thing to do, I'll tell you, is feign interest in someone when you aren't.

Well, it could have been worse: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3229

 

[preslove]

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy
Happened about 7-8 years ago.

I had an ad up on a dating site. At around 10 one night some random chick pops up and asks what I'm up to. Long story short I agree to go and meet her for a quick drink. No big deal I think.

Off to the Villiage Inn... Her idea... I should have known.

There she is... looks nothing like her pic. I'm very turned off. She's also very boring, has no life, no personality and isn't particularly bright. I try to be polite. I finish my drink and say my goodnights.

Ten minutes after I get home my cell rings. It's her.

Her: Hi, whatcha doing?
Me: Nothing... getting ready to go to bed.
Her: Did you notice I had a tounge ring?
Me: (WTF?) Yes I saw that.
Her: Do you know why I have it?
Me: I can guess.
Her: Would you like me to come over and show you?
Me: No... I really need to get to bed... have to get up early...
Her: You're sure?
Me: Positive.

An hour later she calls again - flat out throwing herself at me.
I tell her I'm tired and to stop calling.

1am(!!!) She calls again.
Her: Sorry to call you so late. I just wanted to see if I could set up another date with you for tomorrow before your schedule filled up.
Me: WTF? No. Stop calling me!

3am(!!!!111one1!) It's her again. I turn off my phone.

7am - I get up and turn my phone on. Phone says I have a gazillion messages. Before I can even listen to them it rings... it's her AGAIN. Yelling into the phone I tell her never to call me again and to get her psycho ass into counselling.

Then I listen to the messages. They are completely psychotic. "Why aren't you answering your phone?" "Who are you with?" "Why do you hate me?" Holy crap....

8am... another call. I ignore it.

10am... I'm in a parking lot about to walk into my client's office. She calls AGAIN. I don't even say hello. I just answer the phone and lay into her.

"Look... I am not intereted in you. You're a psycho. You need help. If you ever call me again I am calling the police and will have a restraining order filed against you."

As unbelievable as it may seem... that worked. I never heard from her again after that. Thank God.

All he wanted was to bj you. She would have left you alone after :roll:

fixed.

 

[KillyKillall]

bump for more stories?

 

[Trente]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22
WAIT WAIT WAIT how could i forget this one!?!!?!?!?:


This girl and i go out to eat, whatever, go back to my place, we're makin out on my bed, clothes come off....we're about to do it...i'm on top of her....but she seems a little unsure and I tell her there's no hurry...we decide there's other things we can do for 'fun'....so i get up, then she gets up off the bed.....and when she does....there's this brown streak on my sheets lining up with where her ass was.......I made up an excuse about having to end the date, then kicked her out and put my sheets in the dumpster

Her last name was McNasty?

 

[pclstyle]

Met a girl at an orientation party. Went back to my room to have sex. I was intoxicated off a few different substances, so even through the making-out and foreplay, I wasn't anywhere near aroused enough to penetrate. I called her 5'8" 110lb ass a fat b!tch and threw her out. I then masturbated myself to completion in the bathroom with the aid of some hand soap and the women's section of the sears catalogue. This took the better part of an hour to complete, at which point i noticed that the callouses on my hand had rubbed the skin on my penis bare in one area, which now looked almost like an open sore. it didn't hurt (probably as a result of the drugs), so i ran some cold water over the whole member and climbed into bed, but not before popping a half-pack (16 pills) of pseudoephedrine. I woke up in the morning to find that i had sh!t in my bed and spent the night rolling in it. Ashamed, I stuffed the sheets in a dryer downstairs and bolted. Took a shower and forgot all about it. A week later, my penis was infected with a rare form of fecal bacili, and the sore grew so much that the pain from getting an erection was almost unbearable. Urinating was an impossible task. Ended up lancing the whole thing off with the edge of a spatula. Almost bit my damn tongue off- the pain was that bad. Haven't looked back since.


Helluva date, fat b!tch.

 

[AdamSnow]

Originally posted by: Amplifier
This is back in 8th grade. I'm fingering this girl in the woods behind the fair and when we go on the ground I pull out my cock for the first time in front of a girl. I wasn't sure what would happen but she leaned forward and started sucking on it. This lasts for 3 seconds when she stops and says we're going to fast. Afterwards I tell my friends about it and one of them tells everyone else. Next time I see her she starts crying and tells me to go away.

Long story short she breaks up with me. Fck.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[Tobolo]

Originally posted by: pclstyle
Met a girl at an orientation party. Went back to my room to have sex. I was intoxicated off a few different substances, so even through the making-out and foreplay, I wasn't anywhere near aroused enough to penetrate. I called her 5'8" 110lb ass a fat b!tch and threw her out. I then masturbated myself to completion in the bathroom with the aid of some hand soap and the women's section of the sears catalogue. This took the better part of an hour to complete, at which point i noticed that the callouses on my hand had rubbed the skin on my penis bare in one area, which now looked almost like an open sore. it didn't hurt (probably as a result of the drugs), so i ran some cold water over the whole member and climbed into bed, but not before popping a half-pack (16 pills) of pseudoephedrine. I woke up in the morning to find that i had sh!t in my bed and spent the night rolling in it. Ashamed, I stuffed the sheets in a dryer downstairs and bolted. Took a shower and forgot all about it. A week later, my penis was infected with a rare form of fecal bacili, and the sore grew so much that the pain from getting an erection was almost unbearable. Urinating was an impossible task. Ended up lancing the whole thing off with the edge of a spatula. Almost bit my damn tongue off- the pain was that bad. Haven't looked back since.


Helluva date, fat b!tch.

? Dude WTF? That is pretty scary and disgusting.

 

[IMaN00BieGF]

not doing anything at all.. just sitting there

 

[teddyv]

First real car date - I made a great impression on her parents, opened the door for her, waved goodbye. Swung my elbow over the seat to back out of the driveway and caught her square in the nose as she was bending over to tell me something.

Blood goes everywhere.

She runs inside the house, her Dad comes out with a golf club and yells for me to get out of the car. Date then comes running behind her Dad with a towel over her face screaming at him to not hurt me. Much hilarity ensues as the cool-headed Mom figures out what happened and explains to the suddenly placated Dad.

We were bf/gf for two years after that, the parents even got me elbow pads for Christmas that year.

 

[Jikininki]

Hm..first few months into our relationship..my bf and I were supposed to meet at the mall (after I had a horrible day in nyc) to have dinner. For some reason he thought it'd be fun to bring his friend...and we spent 2 hours walking around the mall with me following behind him and his friend like a little puppy. I was upset..not sure why he was being a jackass but I got more upset..ended up leaving w/o dinner...and crying the whole way home.

it was so awful..

 

[Zysoclaplem]

We talked for a while online, I knew what he looked like, had a few pictures of him. Decided to go on a date. Everything was great.
Then he informs me that he is bringing his friends along. Ummm...okay thats cool I guess.
We meet at Starbucks and I walk in and they are laughing and having a great time. They all have drinks and snacks.
I thought that was kind of rude, but hey, I'm easy going. The guy I was supposed to be on the date with asked if I was going to get myself something to drink. I just said no, that's okay. They talked and talked for a while.

Most of the conversation for 2 hours was about who the guy I was supposed to be on the date with and who he had recently screwed, and how everyone knew the size of his penis because they guy told everyone ...etc...etc...
And how so and so was a lousy lay, and how the other guy was great in bed.
I ended up saying I had to go home, cannot remember why. He messaged me online later that night asking if I wanted to come over and "help him relieve some stress."
I politely declined and he has never spoken to me again.
It was very depressing...lol.

 

[Accipiter22]

Originally posted by: Jikininki
Hm..first few months into our relationship..my bf and I were supposed to meet at the mall (after I had a horrible day in nyc) to have dinner. For some reason he thought it'd be fun to bring his friend...and we spent 2 hours walking around the mall with me following behind him and his friend like a little puppy. I was upset..not sure why he was being a jackass but I got more upset..ended up leaving w/o dinner...and crying the whole way home.

it was so awful..

did you ever talk to him again?

 

[Jikininki]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22

Originally posted by: Jikininki
Hm..first few months into our relationship..my bf and I were supposed to meet at the mall (after I had a horrible day in nyc) to have dinner. For some reason he thought it'd be fun to bring his friend...and we spent 2 hours walking around the mall with me following behind him and his friend like a little puppy. I was upset..not sure why he was being a jackass but I got more upset..ended up leaving w/o dinner...and crying the whole way home.

it was so awful..

did you ever talk to him again?

2.5 year and still going... heh.

 

[astrocase]

Originally posted by: Shadowknight

Originally posted by: DigDug
I show up at the restaurant that we agreed to meet at, and this girl was there .....in all her BUSTED glory. I'm not talking plain-looking, but fugly. She had bulging eyes the suggested some sort of hyperthyroidism, and a nose that looked pig-like. I'm pretty sure I visibly cringed upon seeing her, and I think she saw it because she gave me attitude the whole night. The funny thing was that I could tell people were looking at us and going "what the F!CK is that dude doing with her." And its not like I'm gorgeous either.

The hardest thing to do, I'll tell you, is feign interest in someone when you aren't.

Well, it could have been worse: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3229

I can't believe nobody commented on this. That's horrifying!

I've never really had that bad of a date. I've gotten pretty damn drunk and woke up the next day wanting to chew my arm off but I don't really remember much beyond that.

 

[Kanalua]

Ask a girl out at school (met through my wife, pre-"us goiong out"). Think all is good.

Evening of the date:

*ring*ring*

Me: Hello

Her: THis is XXXX

Me: What's up?

Her: I'm bringing my roommate on our date (Soliloquy: Roommate is ugly...so...not a good start).

Me: Everything okay?

Her: Yeah, she wants to get out of the apartment. She has a date, though, so don't worry...it'll be a double!

Me: (Soliloquy: Crap) Alright...see you at XXXX...

*click*

Turns out the girl I asked out, her roommate and the roommates date were all from the same hometown and HS. I was the "fourth wheel" all night...not even good enough for a third wheel.

I just sat there, eating my sushi and sashimi while the rest of my dating party yapped about old times and life in Page, AZ...

No action, never called her back.

Probably the only one night and done dating relationships I had.