Ok, here are a couple real short ones.
Met up with a girl off of HotOrNot. She seemed real nice and her pic was really great. She lived/lives about an hour away. I drive out to see her and she was a LARGE girl. Normally I am good about picking out girls that are big from just headshots, but this one totally took me off guard. She was one of those pear shaped girls. Her butt was litterally 2-3 ft wide. I'm not kidding. I try to measure it with my arm as she walked passed using the ol' cubit method. Anyway, she lives with her parents in this huge dump. Her father stopped playing Unreal Tournament long enough to say hello. Nice people, but definately trash. I ask her where she would like to go (since it's her area) but she had no plans and I could barely get her to talk. Before we met, she was very forward on the phone and, honestly, I was looking for a little sumpthin sumpthin. Well, we drive around town for a bit. She has me buy her some cigs from a local gas station, then i took her back home. We sit outside her house and she starts to tear up. I aske her what her problem is. "You don't like me, I'm so fat and ugly." Me trying to make her feel better, i put some moves on her...she basically pounces on me...off comes most of her clothing before I could do much. She is on top of me basically pinning me down as she dry humps me. One of her neighbor walks by and stares through my driver side window at her. She gets a bit freaked out and laughs, but then keeps going. I did end up with some oral out of it because I told her I didn't want to go all the way (my excuse was no condom, but mainly for the crazy stuff). Then afterwards she sits there and crys saying that she regretted doing it all. And goes inside. I still get e-mails from her once in a while, but I tell her she is too far away. Not to mention she was a major pot head and trying to "get her band together". F' that stuff.
Another girl I met in person but we mostly chatted online afterwards (does it still count?). She was BI, which was very exciting for me. She was very sexual, but wanted to "take her time" with me because she was feeling too slutty from her last relationships. Many of you guys out there can see where this was going. The infamous Friend Zone. Of course i was still young and new at the whole dating scene, so I got strung along pretty well. I even got her a job at the tech firm i was part-timing for. She would have made 9/hour for just being a secretary. But she quit only 3 days afterwards because she didnt like having to get up before 8am. Which made me look like a total tool because I totally gave my word on how great she would be to our director and she was hired on my recomendation. Sigh. Anyway, one of the crazy things she would do would constantly go home with guys from the bar and have sex with them but when I would protest that she never wanted it from me she would come back with , "Is that all you want from me? All you think about is sex" Of course i would feel all guilty and appologize all over myself. This happend over and over again. One of the times that sticks in my head was how she went out with a girl friend of hers. The friend wanted to fool around with a guy she met at the bar but he had a friend also that he wanted hooked up. So, all 4 go back to his place. The girlfriend convinces her to fool around one the couch with each other while the guys watched and "enjoyed" themselves. She even gave oral to completion to one guy during the activity TWICE. She complained how nasty and small he was. It boggled my mind that she did it not only once...but friggin TWICE. Sigh...that "relationship" died out after a few more twists like that when I told her to go f' herself.
Those are the more involved and funny stories. I guess I am a glutton for punishment. Beware being bored/lonely/online while in college. Sigh...
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