What's the point of engagement?

[Baked]

The usual excuse given is "we need time to plan for the wedding" but really, it's more like "we need time to think about whether we should really do it."

If you found that someone, why not just head over to city hall and get a marriage license and be done with. All the wedding, party planning, honey mooning can be done later if you're serious about hooking up with somebody for the rest of your life. No? What is there to think about?

So next time, instead of getting somebody an engagement ring for proposal, just get a marriage license form and ask the other party to sign next to the Xs.

 

[zinfamous]

It's mostly a US/North America thing, I believe.

 

[blackdogdeek]

the women want to show off the ring, silly goose.

 

[FoBoT]

i agree that an engagement more than a couple months is totally a 'social' thing

 

[bignateyk]

Pretty lame rant. Who cares how people get married?

 

[HN]

It's like human escrow

 

[Saint Nick]

What is described in the OP is my ideal wedding. However, I am sure my future wife will probably want the big, lavish wedding that costs way too much. Gotta find me a girl who doesn't need or necessarily want that...

 

[WaTaGuMp]

Its to see if she really is a gold digging ho.

 

[Gibson486]

Pretty lame rant. Who cares how people get married?

What do you expect. It's ATOT's typical, "I want everyone to see it my way because I do not agree with it" rant.

 

[Zedtom]

The modern couple needs time to do extensive background checks on the relatives to see which one has the loot and which one has the crackhead son.

 

[bignateyk]

My wife and I were engaged about 5 months before we got married. We went on a nice vacation, got engaged, then had a medium (~75 people) wedding a few months later, then went on another vacation a few weeks after the wedding.

 

[busydude]

It's mostly a US/North America thing, I believe.

Nop. Hindus do that too. It is a bit complicated to explain right now.

 

[mnewsham]

My SO has explicitly stated no big lavish wedding needed :coolface: as long as she gets to pick the ring :sadface:

 

[mnewsham]

The modern couple needs time to do extensive background checks on the relatives to see which one has the loot and which one has the crackhead son.

Whichever one scores the most points pays for the wedding?

 

[Schadenfreude]

That's exactly how we got married.

Marriage in itself is a social practice based on subjective social norms. OP - while he is definitely entitled to his opinions - is a moron if he thinks a subjective/cultural practice is "wrong" and gives us the "correct" way to do it.

 

[rh71]

What do you expect. It's ATOT's typical, "I want everyone to see it my way because I do not agree with it" rant.

that.

btw, we went to a wedding a couple weeks ago... the best man (groom's brother) thanked the bride's parents for "this wonderful night". So they basically paid for all of it. That's tradition too... must be nice when it happens.

 

[OverVolt]

It's so your family knows what is going on and then they can super snoop on you.

 

[waggy]

the women want to show off the ring, silly goose.

exactly. just another excuse to buy a ring she will put in a box and never wear.

 

[torpid]

If you found that someone, why not just head over to city hall and get a marriage license and be done with. All the wedding, party planning, honey mooning can be done later if you're serious about hooking up with somebody for the rest of your life. No? What is there to think about?

So next time, instead of getting somebody an engagement ring for proposal, just get a marriage license form and ask the other party to sign next to the Xs.

So in this scenario, you get married, then you start planning the ceremony and reception. What are you telling people? "Guys! We got married and now would like to have a marriage ceremony and reception. Save the date! We are not engaged, BTW, but actually married. So I'm inviting you to a pointless ceremony 1 year from now"

 

[WaTaGuMp]

exactly. just another excuse to buy a ring she will put in a box and never wear.

Its pretty common for them to wear the ring along with a wedding band.

 

[bobdole369]

i agree that an engagement more than a couple months is totally a 'social' thing

<--- 7 year stretch between proposal and marriage. Took her that long to figure out a barefoot beach keys wedding with family only is what she wanted. Also we were poor.

 

[Mike Gayner]

LOL this is the most ridiculous rant. I've been engaged for a few months, and will be engaged until February 2013 when we get married. We've been together almost 10 years. We need that time to plan and save for a wedding. What's the point of going and getting married at the court house? Wouldn't that just take the shine off getting married?

 

[Zeze]

What a shitty ass fucking rant from a socially inept basement nerd.

I'm usually on board against stupid shit. But you're an idiot.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

beyonce said if you liked then you shoulda put a ring on it.

 

[rh71]

court house thing = tax relief? That's not getting married.

Signing papers at the courthouse, "honey we're married!"... that's just lame and you'd feel it as such. It doesn't have to be a grand event, but you need to do *something* to celebrate instead of just going back to your daily routine. All those who had a wedding have memories, and pictures. They are not bound just by a piece of paper they signed one afternoon, it's more than that.