What's the deal with white/Caucasian people putting their elderly in a nursing home?

[Cdubneeddeal]

Because Asians have a repressive guilt-tripping type of culture where not doing everything for their grandparents would be dishonorable, and because blacks don't live long enough to need a nursing home.

I'm sorry but that made me LOL. I'm going to hell.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

There are plenty of work opportunities for the elderly. If she wants treatment commensurate to her expectations she can easily find work in the housekeeping or food services industry. Besides, when we sell her house and car that should be good for a couple of years worth of nursing home care. Plus we can always put her in a cheaper home if we need to. It'll depend on how her portfolio falls out.

Lol. "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"

 

[vi edit]

What part of not being able to afford having one or more family members stay home to care for our elderly, did you not understand? Most Americans do not have the resources to allow one or more wage earners to stay home let alone pay for health care.

I understand perfectly well. I've had grandparents & greatgrandparents that couldn't afford nursing homes on their own and I've watched their children/grandchildren help pitch in to cover the bills.

I've also heard coworkers complaining about how they don't know how they can afford their parents nursing home even though they have a shiney new $40,000 SUV out in the parking lot.

Many of us *could* afford to house our elderly as they get older but a lot of us are too damn selfish to give up our standard of living to do it and our parents are too proud to ask for the help.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Bullshit. Judge others like most people here on ATOT? For example the black comments?

Just an FYI, Asians would rather adjust their work schedules or get a new job so their mothers or fathers or whomever were taken care of all the time.

Bullshit. Don't speak on behalf of all the Asians on the board - some may and some may not; and that's the same for caucasians as well.

Anyhow, I've met plenty of 70~80 year old caucasians who own and live on their own house in my neighborhood.

 

[MJinZ]

Bullshit. Don't speak on behalf of all the Asians on the board - some may and some may not; and that's the same for caucasians as well.

Anyhow, I've met plenty of 70~80 year old caucasians who own and live on their own house in my neighborhood.

Uh yea, my parents will be taking care of themselves. They've told me point blank that they never expect me to take care of them. I'm the only child and everything they do pretty much trickles down to me. If they want to come live with me (more like, next to me) as they get older, I wouldn't mind.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

Bullshit. Don't speak on behalf of all the Asians on the board - some may and some may not; and that's the same for caucasians as well.

Anyhow, I've met plenty of 70~80 year old caucasians who own and live on their own house in my neighborhood.

Maybe it's a Filipino thing. I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't generalize.

 

[MJinZ]

Maybe it's a Filipino thing. I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't generalize.

It's a cultural thing and a wealth kind of thing. You tend to be wealthier here in the US, so you rely less on family when you're older.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I understand perfectly well. I've had grandparents & greatgrandparents that couldn't afford nursing homes on their own and I've watched their children/grandchildren help pitch in to cover the bills.

I've also heard coworkers complaining about how they don't know how they can afford their parents nursing home even though they have a shiney new $40,000 SUV out in the parking lot.

Many of us *could* afford to house our elderly as they get older but a lot of us are too damn selfish to give up our standard of living to do it and our parents are too proud to ask for the help.

This is true to. Selfish folks have always been with us. Unfortunately, there are too many hardworking folks who can't afford to not get paid and can't afford current costs of health care. You know, the reason Obama was elected?

 

[Slew Foot]

Caucasians are too busy buying up cell phone ring tones and leasing a new car every year to give a crap about their parents

 

[vi edit]

This is true to. Selfish folks have always been with us. Unfortunately, there are too many hardworking folks who can't afford to not get paid and can't afford current costs of health care. You know, the reason Obama was elected?

I don't deny that there are some households where it's not financially possible. But I think that for many people it really is simply a function of independence and pride. Many boomers(and to a greater extent their parents) simply don't want to burden their kids and are too proud to ask for help. And their kids aren't going to try and convince them otherwise because it's easier just to stop by the nursing home for dinner on Sundays.

 

[Schadenfroh]

Well, people in my family usually take care of themselves till they die. We usually burn out and die suddenly before requiring assistance to live.

 

[biggestmuff]

Nope. Asians would rather suffer and take care of their family members.

So why do these places exist?

http://www.accsv.org/nh/index.php

http://www.kinon.org/

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

So why do these places exist?

http://www.accsv.org/nh/index.php

http://www.kinon.org/

Because there's always the few that have squashed their culture out the tubes.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I don't deny that there are some households where it's not financially possible. But I think that for many people it really is simply a function of independence and pride. Many boomers(and to a greater extent their parents) simply don't want to burden their kids and are too proud to ask for help. And their kids aren't going to try and convince them otherwise because it's easier just to stop by the nursing home for dinner on Sundays.

I guess I don't share your experience. As a boomer myself living in Arizona, I've seen too many people scraping by and at a total loss for how to pay health care bills. They are faced with trying to get a second mortgage on their homes, parents having to reverse mortgage their paid for homes and, if they do receive a retirement from some company, they're really screwed. Because the retirement is not enough to pay out of control health care costs and too much to receive government aid.

Too many fall into these health care "holes." I lived through it with my own parents and am now worse off financially than I have ever been in my life. It's a good thing I love the work I do because, barring some radical change in health care I will NEVER be able to retire, all because I cared enough to do what I could for my parents.

 

[Kyle]

My friends dad had a stroke and is sleeping most of the day and needs constant care, her brothers both live about 30 mins away and both the brothers and their wives work full time. My friend works about 60 hrs a week or so. Her mom is in end stage cancer. Who could take care of her? They had to fight to get her in to a nursing home (ins still denied it- having to pay out of pocket).
I don't see any other option really for either parent. They need full time medical attention and the children just can not be there all the time.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

My friends dad had a stroke and is sleeping most of the day and needs constant care, her brothers both live about 30 mins away and both the brothers and their wives work full time. My friend works about 60 hrs a week or so. Her mom is in end stage cancer. Who could take care of her? They had to fight to get her in to a nursing home (ins still denied it- having to pay out of pocket).
I don't see any other option really for either parent. They need full time medical attention and the children just can not be there all the time.

I can understand if they have a medical condition that requires experts in the field but I guess I was thinking more of the lines of just getting old and stages of alzheimers.

 

[grrl]

Maybe it's because I'm Asian but we never put our Lolo or Lola's in a nursing home. We believe in family and always take care of them first, no matter what. I guess I don't understand the culture of the put in a nursing home and forget it type mentality. Is one's life really too busy to take care of the person that once took care of you?

You've obviously never lived in Korea.

 

[mugs]

I can understand if they have a medical condition that requires experts in the field but I guess I was thinking more of the lines of just getting old and stages of alzheimers.

When white people "just get old" they generally take care of themselves.

 

[El Guaraguao]

Its not just Asians who tend to their elderly. Hispanics do the same.

 

[Kyle]

I can understand if they have a medical condition that requires experts in the field but I guess I was thinking more of the lines of just getting old and stages of alzheimers.

Ok, then I agree- I would only put my parents in a nursing home if they needed something us kids just could not provide.

 

[coloumb]

In the old days - when mom/dad would hump like rabbits and pump out 8+ kids - you'd have a better chance of 1 or more staying on the farm/at home to help out [plus the survival rate of the children was lower back then ..and they'd need "Free" bodies to help out with the farm]

However, these days - family size has been reduced for most people - most of the parents I know only have 2 kids, some have 3. It's easier to put elderly mom/pop in a nursing home...

 

[AznAnarchy99]

I doubt anyone has seen this, but when im old, i want to be like the Japanese guy in the last episode of Nip Tuck..

 

[waggy]

When white people "just get old" they generally take care of themselves.

yeap. my dad is 67 and is fine. my grandmother lived to 92 and took care of herself (well except for the driving. she stoped driving herself at 75 since she didn't feel she was safe).

i know only 1 person who was put in a home. thats because he had a stroke and had other health issues. he needed 24/7 care.

 

[dingster1]

As a black American (ooopsss...) who has a mother in a nursing home who was absolutely forbidden to return to my no job having home town by my mother, for us the decision was mutual. After having tried in home care, live ins, etc. it finally came down to the point where she needed 24/7 care. She no longer falls and lays in the floor all night alone, she has some one checking on her continually and she is comfortable. She can care for herself on the basic levels now and I'm glad to knwo she has the care she needs.I help pay for her facility and keep her in spending money.

 

[Wheezer]

Maybe it's because I'm Asian but we never put our Lolo or Lola's in a nursing home. We believe in family and always take care of them first, no matter what. I guess I don't understand the culture of the put in a nursing home and forget it type mentality. Is one's life really too busy to take care of the person that once took care of you?

It's pretty simple really, in many cases the type of care required cannot be afforded/provided adequately in the home. In some cases if an elderly person has no family that is their only choice.

And this "take care of them no matter what" attitude is grand and all, but when you have a family of four and only one income and your 85 year old mother requires 5000/per month in home medical care and it is only 3000 per month in a quality nursing facility that has around the clock care not a hard choice to make when the former choice would put such a strain on your finances that you would lose your home then you ALL would be fucked.

You, your wife, and kids and your mother all out of a home THEN where would she be?

I gotta ask OP how old are you?