<< must be at the wrong angle or something cause everytime I get a good dump going they go down the whole and when I get up to admire my hard work its either completly hidden or I can only see part of it sticking out >>
The key to prevent this from happening is to throw some Toilet Paper in there first, to muffle the splashback factor, while at the same time, keeping your feces in a viewable position.
Oh, this is LOL.
What is it with people wanting to show others their "production"? I remember producing some major logs as a kid and heralding my sister and mother to look at it. "Time to flush....ooooooh, look at it spin!!"
The most satisfying craps are those that feel soothing on release, complete and final at the end, and form a perfect, cylindrical, long log in the bowl. Ahhhhhh.
What is it with people wanting to show others their "production"? I remember producing some major logs as a kid and heralding my sister and mother to look at it. "Time to flush....ooooooh, look at it spin!!"
The most satisfying craps are those that feel soothing on release, complete and final at the end, and form a perfect, cylindrical, long log in the bowl. Ahhhhhh.
Yeah, whenever I get backed up for a little while, it usually creates a huge mountain that rises above the waterline. I just tell the wife that I created my own private island.
The best sh!t story I can think of was when a friend of mine was at a club in Florida. He was out on the dance floor and had this sudden "urge". He ran to the restroom (a nice one, too, with marble crapper stalls), burst into the first stall and started to drop his pants. Well, he got his pants and drawers down but couln't get on the seat in time. The resulting explosion, as he was bent over, coated the wall and crapper. Without breaking stride, he opened the stall door, looked over at the bathroom attendant, shrugged his shoulders and said "sorry", and then shuffled over to the next stall, and finished. You talk about one p!ssed off bathroom attendant, ha, ha, ha.
The best sh!t story I can think of was when a friend of mine was at a club in Florida. He was out on the dance floor and had this sudden "urge". He ran to the restroom (a nice one, too, with marble crapper stalls), burst into the first stall and started to drop his pants. Well, he got his pants and drawers down but couln't get on the seat in time. The resulting explosion, as he was bent over, coated the wall and crapper. Without breaking stride, he opened the stall door, looked over at the bathroom attendant, shrugged his shoulders and said "sorry", and then shuffled over to the next stall, and finished. You talk about one p!ssed off bathroom attendant, ha, ha, ha.
Ugh! Sick! People who sh*t all over the bathrooms should be forced to clean it themselves. Why should the minimum wage dude get stuck with that. Of course, minimum wage dude could quit that day... and let mgmt deal with it.
Question You folks who show your crap to friends & family? What'd you do with the tp you used to wipe yer ass? In my bathroom visits it goes into the toilet over the, apparently popular around here, presentation.
Question You folks who show your crap to friends & family? What'd you do with the tp you used to wipe yer ass? In my bathroom visits it goes into the toilet over the, apparently popular around here, presentation.
Adul
Elite Member
^^ Its like when there is so much jet-propulsion, it comes out in vapor form and explodes everywhere. When you eat a bunch of mexican food and drink cheap beer i tell ya!!
It's a real pain in the butt when it actually burns a little bit...
It's a real pain in the butt when it actually burns a little bit...
Bulk Beef
Diamond Member
- Aug 14, 2001
- 5,466
- 0
- 76
<< What is it with people wanting to show others their "production"? >>
I think it has something to do with people wanting to show others what they can create. Some people paint, some people...well, you know.
It's also about as close as most men will come to experiencing the miracle of childbirth. You see how proud a new mother is, so why shouldn't a man be proud of what comes out of his belly?
SICK
I went and got him to look at it before I flushed it down
what were you thinking?!
MUST KILL ALL PEOPLE NAMED Hafen
I went and got him to look at it before I flushed it down
what were you thinking?!
MUST KILL ALL PEOPLE NAMED Hafen
<< couldnt hold a pee when i was back in kindergarten.... there wasnt preschool for me back then, ages 3-5 are all in kindergarten... anyway, teacher found out of course and i had to stand at the corner the whole day. embarassment? ye of course, can never forget that day either >>
lol.. hey, dont steal my story..
j/k... that also happened to me in kindergarden... was doing the motor skills (like the wood beam where you had to balance your way across, like p.e. i suppose) and had an accident... made me sit in the back of the room while the teacher was reading a story to everyone.. very embarrassing moment.. I got a couple here...
When we were kids my one friend took a dumb in a urninal in a local acme, it was bloody hilarious
then later on my friend took this disgusting dump in the mall, and the bathroom was sparkling clean. He got it all over the floor and on the seat, it was rancid. as we're walking out laughing about it, we see the cleaning lady coming in. When we realize that she's gonna be mighty pissed, we took off.
Another time i had to go in a Taco Bell, they have a huge toilet. So i take one, and it goes all the way around. my friend walked in and siad it was the biggest dump he's ever seen. the cool thing is later on in my life, i dropped TWO of these monsters. it was in my house so i didn't get any friends as witnesses.
When we were kids my one friend took a dumb in a urninal in a local acme, it was bloody hilarious
then later on my friend took this disgusting dump in the mall, and the bathroom was sparkling clean. He got it all over the floor and on the seat, it was rancid. as we're walking out laughing about it, we see the cleaning lady coming in. When we realize that she's gonna be mighty pissed, we took off.
Another time i had to go in a Taco Bell, they have a huge toilet. So i take one, and it goes all the way around. my friend walked in and siad it was the biggest dump he's ever seen. the cool thing is later on in my life, i dropped TWO of these monsters. it was in my house so i didn't get any friends as witnesses.
<< When in top physical shape your turds come out like rabbit droppings.
>>I must be one huge rabbit then.
Can somebody explain to me why this thread is still here?
Apparently the mods are, appropriately, on the toilet.
Viper GTS
Apparently the mods are, appropriately, on the toilet.
Viper GTS
<< so nobody has ever dropped a load in their pants??? >>
Yep I saw this girl in class she had a really short skirt on. Well I was walking from the bottom of the lecture center to the top and she wasn't sitting with her legs crossed, oh wait, wrong load.
This thread reminds me of the Sh!t list:
The Chronological aspect of the sphincter muscle, better known as . . . The sh!t list
Ghost Sh!t: The kind where you feel the Sh!t come out, but there is no Sh!t in the toilet.
Clean-Get-Away Sh!t: The kind where you Sh!t it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Sh!t: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Sh!t: This happens when you're done Sh!ting and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Sh!t some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Brain-Hemmorage-Sh!t: The kind where you strain so much to get it out,you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Sh!t: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Sh!t: The kind of Sh!t you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log Sh!t: The kind of Sh!t that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn Sh!t: Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Sh!t Sh!t: The kind where you want to Sh!t but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Sh!t: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Sh!t: The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
Liquid Sh!t: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Sh!t: It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise Sh!t: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops ... a sh!t!!!
The Dangling Sh!t: This Sh!t refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Sh!ting it. You just pray that a shake or two will break it loose.
Crowd Pleaser Sh!t: This sh!t is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
Mood Enhancer Sh!t: This sh!t occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
Ritual Sh!t: This sh!t occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper or other reading materials.
THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SH!T: A sh!t so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
THE AFTERSHOCK SH!T: This sh!t has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SH!T: This is any sh!t created in the presence of another person.
THE GROANER: A sh!t so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
THE FLOATER: Characterized by its floatability, this sh!t has been known to resurface after many flushings.
THE RANGER: A sh!t which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
THE PHANTOM SH!T: This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
THE PEEK-A-BOO SH!T: Now you see it, now you don't. This sh!t is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
THE BOMBSHELL: A sh!t that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to sh!t (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near sh!tting facilities.
THE SNAKE CHARMER: A long skinny sh!t which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
THE OLYMPIC SH!T: This sh!t occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Sh!t.
THE BACK-TO-NATURE SH!T: This sh!t may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SH!T: An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T sh!t.
PREMEDITATED SH!T: Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
SH!TZOPHERENIA: Fear of sh!tting - can be fatal!
ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SH!T: Also known as a "Still Going" sh!t.
THE POWER DUMP SH!T: The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
THE LIQUID PLUMBER SH!T: This kind of sh!t is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Sh!t.)
THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SH!T: Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spincal Tap Sh!ts. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
THE PORRIDGE SH!T: The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two chooces: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SH!T: When the bag of Dorritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SH!T: When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SH!T: Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin and gasping for air
The Chronological aspect of the sphincter muscle, better known as . . . The sh!t list
Ghost Sh!t: The kind where you feel the Sh!t come out, but there is no Sh!t in the toilet.
Clean-Get-Away Sh!t: The kind where you Sh!t it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Sh!t: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Sh!t: This happens when you're done Sh!ting and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Sh!t some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Brain-Hemmorage-Sh!t: The kind where you strain so much to get it out,you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Sh!t: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Sh!t: The kind of Sh!t you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log Sh!t: The kind of Sh!t that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn Sh!t: Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Sh!t Sh!t: The kind where you want to Sh!t but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Sh!t: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Sh!t: The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
Liquid Sh!t: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Sh!t: It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise Sh!t: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops ... a sh!t!!!
The Dangling Sh!t: This Sh!t refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Sh!ting it. You just pray that a shake or two will break it loose.
Crowd Pleaser Sh!t: This sh!t is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
Mood Enhancer Sh!t: This sh!t occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
Ritual Sh!t: This sh!t occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper or other reading materials.
THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SH!T: A sh!t so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
THE AFTERSHOCK SH!T: This sh!t has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SH!T: This is any sh!t created in the presence of another person.
THE GROANER: A sh!t so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
THE FLOATER: Characterized by its floatability, this sh!t has been known to resurface after many flushings.
THE RANGER: A sh!t which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
THE PHANTOM SH!T: This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
THE PEEK-A-BOO SH!T: Now you see it, now you don't. This sh!t is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
THE BOMBSHELL: A sh!t that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to sh!t (ie. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near sh!tting facilities.
THE SNAKE CHARMER: A long skinny sh!t which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
THE OLYMPIC SH!T: This sh!t occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Sh!t.
THE BACK-TO-NATURE SH!T: This sh!t may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SH!T: An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T sh!t.
PREMEDITATED SH!T: Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
SH!TZOPHERENIA: Fear of sh!tting - can be fatal!
ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SH!T: Also known as a "Still Going" sh!t.
THE POWER DUMP SH!T: The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
THE LIQUID PLUMBER SH!T: This kind of sh!t is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Sh!t.)
THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SH!T: Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spincal Tap Sh!ts. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
THE PORRIDGE SH!T: The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two chooces: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SH!T: When the bag of Dorritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SH!T: When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SH!T: Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin and gasping for air
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