What would you have done?

[Codewiz]

A friend of mine recently had a partial birth abortion.

Here was her situation. After a month or so into the pregnancy, she found out some of her families had been diagnosed with Fragile X. If you don't know what that is, it leads to a majority of the people being mentally handicapped. It effects men more so than women. After finding this fact out, she did some research and found out she was having a boy.

She proceed to go to the doctor to have herself tested. Her test came back positive as a carrier. Each test takes about 3-4 weeks. So there goes a month. Next she had her baby tested. The first time the lab screwed up. So basically 4 weeks were throw away. They went to test again and the test came back as positive.

So her son was going to definately be fragile x. That means he had about a 20% chance of being totally normal but an 80% chance of having severe handicaps.

By the time all was said and done, she could not have a standard abortion so she went to Georgia to have it done.

What would you have done?

I don't know what I would have done. I feel that partial birth abortions should be banned with one exception. If it will kill the mother to carry the baby the entire term.

Do I blame her? I don't personally, she did what was acceptable under the law.

Cliff notes: Go to another thread if you want cliff notes.

 

[etalns]

I think her actions were more than acceptable.

The fact is that none of us remember our time in the fetus, or in our very early years, and I don't think a baby really knows that it's dead. I feel far too many people equate abortion and murder at the same level, I feel differently. Any sort of handicap, be it mental and physical has a negative effect on ones life; we can be poltically correct and argue that it's not, but when all is said and done it does have a negative effect on ones life.

If the child had been born and had a severe handicap, I imagine that it would be very difficult on him throughout his life. I personally would either a) try agian in the event you knew a future baby wouldn't suffer from it, or were nearly sure, or b) never become pregnant again. I don't have anything against those who are handicapped in any way, but noone would wilfully desire to be handicapped I imagine. I feel that if you know, or are nearly positive, that a child will suffer from a life devastating illness/handicap, I don't feel that you should put them through that as a parent.

 

[nmcglennon]

That is a tough call. It really depends on if she had the means to care for the afflicted child. I [personally] think abortion should be a person's choice, but I do not agree with it... I can sympahize, and I know that these things can happen.

Fragile X syndrome is the world's most common form of inherited mental impairment. Since she was having a boy, it meant the Y chromosome was from the father, and the X from the mother (of course). Fragile X affects more men because men only have one copy of the X chromosome (XY), and if it is a Fragile X mutation inherited from the mother, then the progeny usually have it.

Life is cruel sometimes.

 

[amdforever2]

couldnt an amneisyntesis or whatever have said for sure if it was going to have defects?

 

[Iron Woode]

I can just see where this thread is headed.

/me grabs chair and :beer:

 

[Codewiz]

Any sort of handicap, be it mental and physical has a negative effect on ones life; we can be poltically correct and argue that it's not, but when all is said and done it does have a negative effect on ones life.

But there is that 20% that the baby could have been almost completely normal. It was totally an odds game and like I said, I certainly don't think less of her.

It is a really tough decision and I hope I never have to make such a decision. It is hard for me to say what I would have done.

 

[Isla]

I would not have aborted the baby in her circumstance, IF, like was mentioned before, I had the means to care for such a child. So, if that were to happen to me now, I'd have the baby... but if it happened to me when I was still poor, unstable, and in my early 20's.... I might make a different call. Probably not, because I have an extended family that would help me take the responsibility... but I can't say absolutely not. "There but for grace go I"... you really don't know what you would do in another person's shoes. So you can't judge them.

Over all, I think partial birth abortions should ONLY be done when the mother's life is at risk OR when it is understood that the baby will not survive outside the womb.

 

[Jadow]

there is blood on her hands

 

[Iron Woode]

Do doctors still recomend couples who are carriers of neurofibromatosis not too have children?

 

[Amused]

I would have done the exact same thing she did.

 

[Ogg]

Originally posted by: Amused
I would have done the exact same thing she did.

tough call but I believe I would have as well. I have always thought that it is a personal decision, not one that you can make for someone else

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Ogg

Originally posted by: Amused
I would have done the exact same thing she did.

tough call but I believe I would have as well. I have always thought that it is a personal decision, not one that you can make for someone else

I agree with that statement 100%

 

[SP33Demon]

If she didn't have the means to care for it, then she made the right choice. If it she had been trying to have a baby for a long time and did have the means, then she should have stuck through it. Hard to say though, it's all about how you feel about abortion and the circumstances that surround the pregnancy.

 

[edro]

It is her very own baby. I don't see how anyone could kill something that came from them. It is a part of them. Oh well, I guess I will never know the feeling since I am a male. I would like to think that I would never have an abortion, but I am not in her shoes, so I do not know what it's like.

 

[Codewiz]

Originally posted by: SP33Demon
If she didn't have the means to care for it, then she made the right choice. If it she had been trying to have a baby for a long time and did have the means, then she should have stuck through it. Hard to say though, it's all about how you feel about abortion and the circumstances that surround the pregnancy.

Well she had a girl about a year ago. There are no outward obvious signs of Fragile X at this point. Her daughter could be effected but it is just too early to tell for sure.

I believe that she plans to adopt or use a donor egg if she decides to have another baby.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: Amused
I would have done the exact same thing she did.

Ditto.

 

[Kelemvor]

Since she did all the research and in the end found out the percent chance of the baby having a normal life, I probably would have done the same thing. Kudos to her for getting all the facts straight before making what I'm sure was a seriously difficult decision.

 

[clamum]

What a rough decision. Like others have said, it's up to the mother. If I were in her shoes, I think I would have done the same thing.

 

[huesmann]

What she did was legal.

I hate people (like so-called "Christians") who force their religion/ethics/morality on others.

 

[0roo0roo]

valid reason.

 

[n0cmonkey]

Was it your kid?

 

[badmouse]

My heart goes out to her. It couldn't have been an easy decision.

As the mother of a handicapped son (age 14) I do sometimes wonder whether it would have been better for him not to have been born. I've watched him endure horrible pain (for YEARS), sup-par quality of life, an enormous amount of abuse simply because he's not "normal", etc. I'm not going to shoot him or anything, but I have wished I could put him out of his misery when enduring yet another terrible experimental treatment.

There are no "right" answers, she deserves respect & support for whatever decision she made.

 

[iamwiz82]

That is a hard decision, but you have to think that if they baby did have a problem, this would be a life long issue. When the mother dies in 50 years or whatever, who will take care of the then 50 year old?

 

[Codewiz]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Was it your kid?

LOL hell no. I am happily married. I haven't moved to that part of my life. Just turned 26 years old and my wife and I don't plan on having kids for about another 4 years.

I don't need that much responsibility in my life right now

 

[n0cmonkey]

Originally posted by: Codewiz

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Was it your kid?

LOL hell no. I am happily married. I haven't moved to that part of my life. Just turned 26 years old and my wife and I don't plan on having kids for about another 4 years.

I don't need that much responsibility in my life right now

Then if she is your friend, you act like a friend and support _her_ decision. IMO, anyhow.