What would be the best or good Simpsons quote?

[Rudee]

Grandpa Simpson [Scared] awaits on a Hospital Surgery bed to replace his failing Kidney..

Abe: Am I dead yet?
Marge: No.
Abe: How about now?
Marge: No. [losing temper]
Abe: Now?
Marge: I'll tell you when you're dead, Grampa.
Abe: Thank you.

 

[eakers]

"im sure we can trust teh president of cuba"

 

[Subversal]

Captain McAllister:
[at the river raft rentals]
"Arrr, here be a fine vessel, the yarest river goin' boat thar be"
[the boat sinks]
"Arrr, I don't know what I'm doin''"



Man: I'm telling you the light would work better if it pointed
out to sea.
McAllister: Arr, shut up! I know what I'm doing.
[a boat crashes in the distance]
Arr, I hate the sea and everything in it.


Lionel Hutz
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".
Homer: So. Do you think I have a case?
Hutz: Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
Homer: Woo hoo!



Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'.


Hutz: Now Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name.
Have you ever forgotten anything?
Apu: No. In fact I can recite pi to 40,000 places.
And the last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmm... pie.
Hutz: Well if you never forget anything. Tell me this. What color tie am I wearing? [turns around]
Apu: You are wearing a red and white club tie in a half-windsor knot.
Hutz: Oh, I am, am I? Is that what you think? Well if that's what you think, I have something to tell you [ugh]. Something which may shock and discredit you [ugh]. And that thing is as follows [as he finally undoes the whole tie]. I'm not wearing a tie at all. [jury gasps]
Apu: If I am wrong about that. Maybe I am wrong about Mrs. Simpson.
Hutz: No further questions. [Hutz raises his arm and the tie is sticking out of his sleeve]

 

[3615buck]

DOH !

 

[SSP]

Lisa: "Mom, I don't want to take a bath outside. And I think Rod and Todd are watching me"

[Rod and Todd behind the fence]: "No we're not!



Homer: "Hey! THey're stealing his foot"
Dr. Hibbert: "Oh no, they're just borrowing it. I'm sure it'll turn up in the morning. I'll just saw it back it"

Marge: "Will that work"
Dr. Hibert: "Who knows. But we'll always have our little healer to help"
Bart: "I keep telling you, I'm not a heeler!
Dr. Hibbert : "Fine. More money for me!

*Some of the lines are made up, cause I couldn't remember everything.


Koala: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

 

[yllus]

Bart: Hey, Apu, there's a head in this bag.
Apu: Oooo, a head bag! Those are...chock full of heady goodness.

 

[Javelin]

Homer to Lisa: Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

"To alcohol... the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

 

[skywhr]

50 greatest simpson moments

 

[stonerdave]

From [1F02] - Homer Goes to College

Homer: Guys, believe me, I didn't mean to get you expelled.

Nerd 3: Oh, don't worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves.

[Snake appears, holding out his hand]

Snake: Uhhh, wallet inspector.

Nerd 1: Oh, here ya go. [All three give him their wallets]. I believe that's all in order.

Snake: Huh ho! I can't believe that worked!

Homer: [realization dawning] Heyy...that's not the wallet inspector!

 

[Josh]

LOL, I remember that episode Damn, I love the Simpsons!

 

[Josh]

I hope they never go away. I will be truly sad.

 

[prodigy]

Thanks for the link, skywhr

 

[Mday]

why if it isn't li'l lisa simpson, springfield's answer to a question no one asked





--

short and sweet: d'oh!

 

[ravahbOi]

From the episode where the Simpson kids have to live with the Flanders just after Marge chews Grandpa out for losing the kids:

"Oh bitch...bitch...bitch..." ~Grandpa Simpson

 

[focusyn]

my quote is by bart when we started taking focusyn. and another favorite is:

"trying is the first step towards failure."
-homer-

 

[JayPatel]

the one where bart burns down the christmas tree and the presents and admits it in front of Lisa Marge and Homer,

Lisa runs towards bart andstarts choking him

Homer than says


"Lisa....No......Your hands are too weak

 

[G41184b]

operator: The hands you have uesed to dial are too fat, to obtain a special dialing wand mash the key pad... now.

 

[WalkingDead]

Homer: Hmmmm........alcohol, the cost and solution for all life?s problems

 

[SecretAgentMan]

In the episode where Moe opens Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag,

Moe: Oh, boy! The deep fryer's here. Heh heh, I got it used from the navy.
You can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds.

Homer: Forty seconds? But I want it now!

Now Homer knows how I feel about TF2.

Also,

Reinier Wolfcastle: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Thanks to The Simpsons Archive for running a great site!

 

[skywhr]

MARGE to HOMER: You overly excitable, we need to get you beer and then straight to bed
HOMER: *excited* OHHH BEER BEER BEER BEER

Its not an exact quote cause I dont remember exactly what they said..

 

[dc]

.

 

[kami]

Barney : "What's that?"
Moe : "It's a deep-fryer...I picked it up from the Navy. That baby can
flash-fry a buffalo in under 40 seconds."
Homer : "40 seconds?...Awwww, but I want it now!"

 

[yhlee]

Computer: Please press any key to continue
Homer: Any key? Where the hell is any key.
Homer: I wonder if my tab is coming.
-

Smithers: yes, women and seamen clearly dont mix
-

Marge: That is some pretty lousy advice mr. president
clinton: Well, i'm a pretty lousy president
-

Bart: *opens door of game
Marge: bart, you got the class nerd!
Homer: hahaha, you got the dud. and it looks like you poindexter
Bart: How come lisa gets to play with her friends and i have to play this stupid game
Homer: hey, come on. stand up for yourself poindexter.

(mostly right, i think)..hehe i wish i had time to watch TV again

-young

 

[bigbootydaddy]

Don't know it word for word but i got 2:

Homer approaches post office booth
Homer: i believe you have some mail for me. My Name is Mister Burns
Post Office Lady: OK Mr. Burns, whats your first name?
Homer:....I don't know.


second:
Episode where they show the worlds most sourball

sourball dissappers

Guide: where did it go (or something of that sort)
Homer: (w/ bitter beer face) I dunno....

wait wait i thought of one more

Homer: want a donut?
lisa: do you have anything with fruit?
Homer: this one is full of purple stuff, purple is a fruit.

 

[3615buck]

bigbootydaddy, the 1st one is when Burns was saved thanks to Bart's blood but did not thank them "as Homer would have liked" (money, diamonds,...), right ?