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What retard designed toilets with small bowls?

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flvinny521 said:
Can you actually consciously affect the shape and size of your shits? That has got to be an incredibly useful skill.
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You just wait longer before going to the bathroom. When it's time, you just gotta ready it and hold your breath and really push as hard as you can. It's like having a baby but it takes 20 seconds instead of 20 hours.
 
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! Been a long time sinced I laughed that hard IRL...

The part about bitting your lips and dropping bombs made me crack...don't know why but coupled with the shit water on cheeks and small flacid penis...well we have something to work with for the afternoon!

Oh and BTW, it took me 9 minutes typing this LOL!
 
By the way, to stop the water from splashing your ass, just lay some TP on the water before you sit down. The TP sort of catches the turd and just sinks, rather than splashing violently as it meets it's fate.

I always thought that was common knowledge.
 
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also what helps a lot is putting your feet up 8-10 inches off the ground, on a small stool or something.
 
Epic thread.

And yes I do have the splashback issue as well. The way my toilet is designed, it's kinda like a V bowl with the water in the bottom part of the V, and it only has maybe 2-4 cups worth of water. The worse is pebble poop. This is the type where instead of a few big turds, it's like 40 cherry sized balls. Each individual one comes with it's own individual splash back. Kinda sounds like "bloop bloop bloop". It's like having a bidget.
 
Red Squirrel said:
Epic thread.

And yes I do have the splashback issue as well. The way my toilet is designed, it's kinda like a V bowl with the water in the bottom part of the V, and it only has maybe 2-4 cups worth of water. The worse is pebble poop. This is the type where instead of a few big turds, it's like 40 cherry sized balls. Each individual one comes with it's own individual splash back. Kinda sounds like "bloop bloop bloop". It's like having a bidget.
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A few sheets of TP...works like a charm every time :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
I fucking hate small bowl toilets. There must have been SOME reason why they were designed like this because it wouldn't take more than 5 minutes of testing for people to come back with a conclusion that they sucked.
 
Saint Nick said:
A few sheets of TP...works like a charm every time :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
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Doesn't always work. Like this morning, I just had to go, and just let the gates fly open. TP did nothing. Thank god I've learned to flush the toilet once to "clean" the bowl out before sitting down.

Whenever I "touch" the inside of the toilet, I just get to urge to break out the Mr. Clean or the scissors.

Speaking of, some douchebag managed to clog the industrial strength toilet at work. Again. Sigh...
 
ShawnD1 said:
The toilet in my apartment is such a pile of shit. I have a small flaccid penis and it still touches the inside of the toilet if I'm not sitting in a very specific way. What the hell?!?! Who is this toilet for? Why is it designed so poorly?
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LOL! Not too many men would admit this.
 
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Small toilet bowls suck, but if it's in my house, at least I know it's my pee pee that I'm cross contaminating with. A public toilet? Forget about it.

The absolutely worst toilet design I've ever come across was in multiple locations in Germany. They weren't everywhere, but enough of them were around in multiple cities that it wasn't a fluke. Where US toilets have a large reservoir of water and a drain towards the rear of the toilet, essentially perpendicular to the a-hole, these toilets were the opposite. The drain hole was in the front, which in and of itself is not so bad. But in this arrangement, they decided to place, directly below the bombing path....a shelf. A horizontal surface that your shit will pile upon. The situation is further compounded by the fact that this shelf is ABOVE the water line. You shit directly onto a bare porcelain shelf.

So the situation you have here is a large steaming pile of shit, not immersed in any water to absorb the fumes, that you cannot courtesy flush away because if you do so, there is a significant risk of blowby fecal matter splattering all over your balls because of the high pressure/low volume water saving toilets they use. You do not have the luxury of enjoying a relaxing shit. You have no choice other than wiping as fast as you possibly can and getting the fuck out of that stall before anyone catches you exiting the now putrid smelling bathroom.
 
One of the toilets in my house is a Jacuzzi low-flow model. So every day ever since I bought my house 4 years ago, I've crapped in a Jacuzzi. It's one of the finer things in life.
 
A petite woman designed them.

/TL;DR thread, except the small flaccid penis and ball washing lulz
 
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