JM Aggie08
Diamond Member
- Jan 3, 2006
- 8,304
- 914
- 136
eits
Lifer
Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: eits
crap... there's another really awesome one i know, but i can't remember iti'll get back to you guys once i remember it :thumbsup:
No really....that's plenty.
don't even lie and tell me you didn't find any of the jokes i posted funny
Mean MrMustard
Diamond Member
- Jan 5, 2001
- 3,144
- 10
- 81
A rabbi, a priest, and a bishop walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Fritzo
Lifer
- Jan 3, 2001
- 41,920
- 2,161
- 126
Originally posted by: eits
Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: eits
crap... there's another really awesome one i know, but i can't remember it
No really....that's plenty.
don't even lie and tell me you didn't find any of the jokes i posted funny
That cateracts one was good, but the rest I used to tell in 5th grade...and that was in 1980.
eits
Lifer
Originally posted by: Fritzo
What the hell???? That's so stupid it made me LOL!
haha seriously, wtf?
q: why are women always cold?
a: they have no souls.
q: how do you call New Orleans?
a: Atlantis.
q: how do you name a retard asian baby?
q: Sum Ting Wong.
/ban
a: they have no souls.
q: how do you call New Orleans?
a: Atlantis.
q: how do you name a retard asian baby?
q: Sum Ting Wong.
/ban
eits
Lifer
There are two jokes that I deem to be the funniest jokes I know. They are equal in funny. However, they are also the most offensive jokes in existence. I don't know why I like them so much, I just do.
That being said, one involves a teddy bear... and I'm leaving it at that. I can't even say what the other one involves.
(p.s. they're not dead baby jokes... those are weak)
That being said, one involves a teddy bear... and I'm leaving it at that. I can't even say what the other one involves.
(p.s. they're not dead baby jokes... those are weak)
Oh man, that's good. Really good. Thank you for this. This goes on my list somewhere around #5 or #6.
A newlywed couple are driving in the mountains on their way to their honeymoon destination. Suddenly a skunk runs across the road and the groom hits it with the car. The wife, a staunch animal lover, begs him to stop to see if its hurt. The groom backs up and the bride runs out to check on it. The animal is hurt, and the bride wants to take it to the vet. She asks her husband where she should put the animal. He tells her to just put it between her legs.
The bride asks "what but about the smell"? The husband replies "just plug it's nose".
The bride asks "what but about the smell"? The husband replies "just plug it's nose".
TheSlamma
Diamond Member
- Sep 6, 2005
- 7,625
- 5
- 81
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were too expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune. "Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say this breed has been trained to give blowjobs!" ?Blowjobs!" the woman replied. "It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said. The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks. "What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked. The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is outta here!!
When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks. "What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked. The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is outta here!!
eits
Lifer
eits
Lifer
OH!!! i remember the joke i was gonna say earlier...
ok, so...
little jimmy's 9 years old. he's sitting out on the park bench. along comes a man and sits on the park bench beside him reading a newspaper.
jimmy pulls out a pack of smokes and lights up.
the man sitting next to him can't help but notice the 9 year old sitting next to him chain-smoking and decides to say something....
"young man, has anyone ever told you how terrible smoking is for you? where are your parents?"
jimmy stops smoking and looks up at the man and very casually says, "my grandfather lived to be 105 years old..."
the man replied, "goodness gracious! and he was a smoker??"
jimmy said, "no, but he minded his own fvcking business."
ok, so...
little jimmy's 9 years old. he's sitting out on the park bench. along comes a man and sits on the park bench beside him reading a newspaper.
jimmy pulls out a pack of smokes and lights up.
the man sitting next to him can't help but notice the 9 year old sitting next to him chain-smoking and decides to say something....
"young man, has anyone ever told you how terrible smoking is for you? where are your parents?"
jimmy stops smoking and looks up at the man and very casually says, "my grandfather lived to be 105 years old..."
the man replied, "goodness gracious! and he was a smoker??"
jimmy said, "no, but he minded his own fvcking business."
Originally posted by: JohnAn2112
So, there's a man crawling through the desert.
He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had
great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a
big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell
phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family,
his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few
friends had no idea he was out here.
I hate you... I read so much of that before giving up
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
He got a little behind in his work.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 24K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 20K
-
-
-
Facebook
Twitter