what does it mean if a guy is quiet (reserved?)

[Soundmanred]

Just to clear something up for some that may not realize it:
DEAR SUMMER IS A MALE.
Also, skim milk is fritolays.
That is all.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Farang
let's hug it out bro

I hope the vb server has a Love & Bromance forum.

Originally posted by: Xstatic1
while i find that most smart ppl are introverts, there's too much work involved in trying to get to know them if they lean heavily towards being quiet/shy/reserved. ugh! i'll take a smart extro any day.

"My wife used to say I'm a hard man to know - like a closed book."


I'm not a "small talk" person - and I don't usually join in on conversations because my views tend to be somewhat different than what I usually encounter, and a fair bit more detailed, to the point where I have a tough time really translating them down from thought to English, and having them still not only make sense, but having the entire translated thought be brief enough such that it can still fit within the context of a normal conversation. Something often gets lost in the translation, unfortunately.

And a lot of simple conversation, such as at the workplace lunchroom, or at a campus cafe, seems to revolve around sports or famous people - two things I really tend not to care much about, and therefore wouldn't have anything substantive to add to a conversation...though such conversations tend to lack in substance anyway.
Then there's always the "Oh my GOD did you see that chick over there?!?? Fuckin' huge tits oh my GOD!"
Guys...guys, if your dicks want to have a conversation, that's fine. Just tell them to do so quietly.

Originally posted by: waffleironhead
As a quiet person myself, let me chime in.
Most social conversations are not worth joining in. They move fast and are fairly shallow. When you take the time to listen more than you talk, you actually learn something(not always of course, but sometimes you hit gold). There is always a surplus of people who think their opinion needs to be shared. There are fewer people who are content to let the conversations go round and round without chiming in. Being quiet and reserved is usually a sign of someone who is observant. It does not mean they do not have an opinion, quite the opposite actually, they just do not feel the need to share it with the world.

This.
Some conversations are best avoided. I recall someone, in one verbal paragraph, both bashing communism, and then working around to say that it'd be nice if government would control the price of gasoline. Somehow this didn't seem contradictory in his mind. I figured it best not to point this out, as he was my supervisor, and I needed the money from that temp job. Yeah well, exceptional intelligence is not a requirement to work at a warehouse. (Incidentally, neither is the ability to speak English.)

 

[Red Squirrel]

Some people say that I'm reserved, like it's a bad thing.

Just remember, it's people like us that will either destroy the world, or make it better, so be nice.

I actually do see myself do something that will greatly change the world in the future, like some insane alternative energy that is unlike any other, and figure a legal loophole in the patent system so it cannot be patented by the oil industry. This will probably only happen when I'm at the age to retire, and have learned a lot about the world and gained lot of experience in various fields, and have the time. Right now even if I did have a super awesome idea, I don't have time to execute it.

 

[alkemyst]

she doesn't like you dude, move on.

 

[will889]

Originally posted by: nerp
Quiet often means insecure or uncomfortable. If with a group of friends you know, quiet might mean something is on your mind or you're just not in a talkative mood. But if you're going to social situations that are all about mixing, or if you're going to bars or clubs to meet people and all you do is sit and sulk and never talk, you're just going to seem boring. I don't think it's honest to say that quiet people should draw others towards them "to learn more about this mysterious person." People who are super quiet often fade into the background because people are generally interested in what someone has to say, not what possible mystery they are.

THere's a difference between being a blithering idiot who doesn't shut up and talks about trivial things and being sociable and able to talk in social situations. Being quiet in those situations is OK but I can completley understand why you'd feel unnoticed, ignored or a piece of lint stuck to the wall.

I don't know about all of that. I'm super quiet but i'm one of those that also have a big grin on my face and i'm totally comfortable with it, and I tend to like the real conversation that comes up later with a select few that really have things to say rather than small talk. Though at times I may fade into the background, I like it that way usually because again, I like the real conversation that happens once the pretentious (fake) overt BS conversations have faded and those people have either made a complete fool out of themselves, or have left.

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: RedSquirrel
Some people say that I'm reserved, like it's a bad thing.

Just remember, it's people like us that will either destroy the world, or make it better, so be nice.

I actually do see myself do something that will greatly change the world in the future, like some insane alternative energy that is unlike any other, and figure a legal loophole in the patent system so it cannot be patented by the oil industry. This will probably only happen when I'm at the age to retire, and have learned a lot about the world and gained lot of experience in various fields, and have the time. Right now even if I did have a super awesome idea, I don't have time to execute it.

what the fuck are you talking about

 

[Red Squirrel]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: RedSquirrel
Some people say that I'm reserved, like it's a bad thing.

Just remember, it's people like us that will either destroy the world, or make it better, so be nice.

I actually do see myself do something that will greatly change the world in the future, like some insane alternative energy that is unlike any other, and figure a legal loophole in the patent system so it cannot be patented by the oil industry. This will probably only happen when I'm at the age to retire, and have learned a lot about the world and gained lot of experience in various fields, and have the time. Right now even if I did have a super awesome idea, I don't have time to execute it.

what the fuck are you talking about

If you look back in history, lot of the famous inventors or people who have changed the way we live today were considered "weird" or "reserved" in their time.

 

[Xstatic1]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: Xstatic1
while i find that most smart ppl are introverts, there's too much work involved in trying to get to know them if they lean heavily towards being quiet/shy/reserved. ugh! i'll take a smart extro any day.

"My wife used to say I'm a hard man to know - like a closed book."


I'm not a "small talk" person - and I don't usually join in on conversations because my views tend to be somewhat different than what I usually encounter, and a fair bit more detailed, to the point where I have a tough time really translating them down from thought to English, and having them still not only make sense, but having the entire translated thought be brief enough such that it can still fit within the context of a normal conversation. Something often gets lost in the translation, unfortunately.

And a lot of simple conversation, such as at the workplace lunchroom, or at a campus cafe, seems to revolve around sports or famous people - two things I really tend not to care much about, and therefore wouldn't have anything substantive to add to a conversation...though such conversations tend to lack in substance anyway.
Then there's always the "Oh my GOD did you see that chick over there?!?? Fuckin' huge tits oh my GOD!"
Guys...guys, if your dicks want to have a conversation, that's fine. Just tell them to do so quietly.

:heart: that movie.

learning the art of "small talk" will do wonders for ya. trust me on this.

i'm sure there are lotsa girls out there who dig introverts, i'm just not one of 'em. then again, i'm only one person out of of 3 billion women, so ur chances of running into 'em are pretty high.

 

[jjzelinski]

I'm of the opinion that when a person speaks, they should do so confidently and at a volume that can be heard. To me it speaks volumes about a person's self consciousness when they are barely audible when they speak, as if they're almost afraid of being heard. Unfortunately, it's been my experience that this sort of individual is usually intelligent and, when coupled with their evident sense of humility, can be enjoyable people to know. From a guys perspective, that's fine as I'm not looking for signs of virility (or lack there of) in friends or acquaintances however the same can't normally be said for a gal looking for a date. Even if a woman is not looking for a macho guy, my guess is that such a level of timidity as you describe may hinder you from gaining their sexual interest.

Consider this: You don't have to speak endlessly without meaning, but what you do choose to say should be said with confidence (i.e. at a conversational level, not a whisper.)

fwiw!

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Xstatic1
:heart: that movie.

learning the art of "small talk" will do wonders for ya. trust me on this.

i'm sure there are lotsa girls out there who dig introverts, i'm just not one of 'em. then again, i'm only one person out of of 3 billion women, so ur chances of running into 'em are pretty high.

The thing of it is, I don't want to engage in small talk, really. It just feels so forced and stupid every time I attempt it. Like verbal masturbation, except without the enjoyment, to use a very eloquent metaphor.
It seems too much like just flappin' yer gums about nothin' for the purpose of keeping your mouth occupied in what might otherwise be a silent moment spent in proximity of another person. I'll have to go with Ford Prefect's hypothesis on why humans engage in small talk.

Originally posted by: jjzelinski
I'm of the opinion that when a person speaks, they should do so confidently and at a volume that can be heard. To me it speaks volumes about a person's self consciousness when they are barely audible when they speak, as if they're almost afraid of being heard.
...

And some of us simply have no good idea how loud they sound to other people.
I've also got some kind of natural volume limiter though; I hate loud noise, and I always worry that I'm being too loud in nearly anything I do. (And my definition of "loud" encompasses a pretty wide range of decibel ratings.)
So I'm always wary that I might sound too loud, and start to sound rudely loud in my tone. To give you some idea of my general temperament, I honestly can't remember the last time I yelled at someone about anything. 5 years maybe? 10? It may have even been even longer than that, back in my teen years, before my voice had finished changing.

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: RedSquirrel

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: RedSquirrel
Some people say that I'm reserved, like it's a bad thing.

Just remember, it's people like us that will either destroy the world, or make it better, so be nice.

I actually do see myself do something that will greatly change the world in the future, like some insane alternative energy that is unlike any other, and figure a legal loophole in the patent system so it cannot be patented by the oil industry. This will probably only happen when I'm at the age to retire, and have learned a lot about the world and gained lot of experience in various fields, and have the time. Right now even if I did have a super awesome idea, I don't have time to execute it.

what the fuck are you talking about

If you look back in history, lot of the famous inventors or people who have changed the way we live today were considered "weird" or "reserved" in their time.

If you look back in history, lot of the famous inventors or people who have changed the way we live today had two eyeballs and an asshole. Think that makes you special, too?

 

[manowar821]

Originally posted by: waffleironhead
As a quiet person myself, let me chime in.
Most social conversations are not worth joining in. They move fast and are fairly shallow. When you take the time to listen more than you talk, you actually learn something(not always of course, but sometimes you hit gold). There is always a surplus of people who think their opinion needs to be shared. There are fewer people who are content to let the conversations go round and round without chiming in. Being quiet and reserved is usually a sign of someone who is observant. It does not mean they do not have an opinion, quite the opposite actually, they just do not feel the need to share it with the world.

This is kind of how I am, too. Also, social anxiety, but I'm working on that.

 

[DJFuji]

Id venture to say that most people who are super shy and express the opinion that 'small talk is a bunch of shallow conversations where you dont learn anything" are men. Men tend to think this way because we believe that the point of conversation is to exchange relevant information to get something accomplished.

Women, however, believe the point of conversation is THE CONVERSATION ITSELF.

Thus, the disconnect.

 

[IGBT]

listening. observing. learning.

 

[Mr. Lennon]

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: Zeppelin2282
I remember when I went on a river rafting trip with my friends. I was sitting in the raft quietly absorbing in the scenery/off in my own world when one of the girls with us looks at me and says, "Damn why do you have to be such a downer?"

I'm pretty damn sure there's more to that story than just your version of it, Mopey Joe.

Nope, she was just a self loathing bitch. I can be a very outgoing person (I play live music), but there are those times where I just rather be quiet and space out/ absorb whats happening around me...which I guess probably comes off as introverted behavior lol.

 

[Mr. Lennon]

Originally posted by: PliotronX

Originally posted by: Zeppelin2282
I remember when I went on a river rafting trip with my friends. I was sitting in the raft quietly absorbing in the scenery/off in my own world when one of the girls with us looks at me and says, "Damn why do you have to be such a downer?"

I thought that was a pretty off the wall comment considering I wasn't sad one bit. I guess it just goes to show you that extremely extroverted people cant stand it when another person in their vicinity is silent and not acknowledging them.

I'm disgusted by people who think others exist merely to entertain them and I share your baffled state by them. One of my biggest pet peeves is when other people try to tell you what your state of mind is just like the girl who declared you to be a downer. Just because I don't have a shit eating grin plastered on my face constantly like the mayor of Los Angeles does not mean I'm not having a good time.

LOL so true.

Tony Villar is a prime example of a person who is constantly trying to get daddy's approval. God I hope no one votes for that dumb ass in the 2010 CA governor elections.

 

[oddyager]

Keeps to himself? Observes rather than participate. Keeps quiet rather than speak up. Engages conversation only when spoken to. Stuff like that.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Dear Summer

Originally posted by: Xstatic1
OP - r u asking because u know u're quiet and reserved? or did someone comment that u're quet and reserved and wondering what they meant?

kind of both

what is your perception of quiet guys from a female's perspective?

boring.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I saw a documentary on the Son of Sam killer yesterday. He was reserved and quiet too.