What Do You Object To About Five Guys?

[Perknose]

It's one of the world's great religions. It gives people more than just hope and metaphysical certainty, it gives people MEAT.

You can't get cajun fries with your sacramental wafer, and you'll find MORE than merely 76 virgins in a Five Guys . . . although they will be mostly male and annoying.

The Buddha never offered free peanuts, and, use your noodle, the FSM is pasta its prime.

Let's face it, atheists and vegetarians lead grim, flavorless lives.

So don't have a cow, man . . . have a burger.

 

[PhoKingGuy]

It's one of the world's great religions. It gives people more than just hope and metaphysical certainty, it gives people MEAT.

You can't get cajun fries with your sacramental wafer, and you'll find MORE than merely 76 virgins in a Five Guys . . . although they will be mostly male and annoying.

The Buddha never offered free peanuts, and, use your noodle, the FSM is pasta its prime.

Let's face it, atheists and vegetarians lead grim, flavorless lives.

So don't have a cow, man . . . have a burger.

You should produce commercials

 

[darkxshade]

Oh no you didn't

 

[dank69]

wtf no shakes? you can't get into heaven w/o shakes!

 

[shortylickens]

Super slimy greasy nasty shit taste horrid toppings rotten accessories like fries.

FUCK THEM!!!

 

[InflatableBuddha]

It's one of the world's great religions. It gives people more than just hope and metaphysical certainty, it gives people MEAT.

You can't get cajun fries with your sacramental wafer, and you'll find MORE than merely 76 virgins in a Five Guys . . . although they will be mostly male and annoying.

The Buddha never offered free peanuts, and, use your noodle, the FSM is pasta its prime.

Let's face it, atheists and vegetarians lead grim, flavorless lives.

So don't have a cow, man . . . have a burger.

Dude, you can come over to my place and snack on peanuts all you want. (And before anyone tries to be a smartass, peanuts are legumes, so my nuts will be safe :awe.

 

[OCGuy]

I object to the 5 three-piece-sets that come with them.

 

[Perknose]

wtf no shakes? you can't get into heaven w/o shakes!

You can bring your milkshake to our yard. :awe:

 

[darkxshade]

Dude, you can come over to my place and snack on peanuts all you want. (And before anyone tries to be a smartass, peanuts are legumes, so my nuts will be safe :awe.

Your nuts will be safe, but I can't say the same about yo anus when he brings over 4 other guys who aren't interested in legumes.

 

[BoomerD]

At this time, my only objection to "The Five Guys" is that they don't have any locations near me...although it looks like they're going to open one in Stockton...about 30 miles away.

 

[CraigRT]

Did this chain just originate yesterday or this morning?
I have seen two topics on this place now, and I've never once heard of it before today..

 

[Turin39789]

meh, tried it but not my go to place.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I've never seen one...therefore it doesn't exist.

\devil's advocate mode

 

[FelixDeCat]

Ive never been there since there arent any around here. But Ive heard rumors about the sad state of five guys burgers lately. :'(

 

[Demon-Xanth]

That there's not five girls.

...or 7 other guys.

 

[nageov3t]

there's always one guy standing there feeling left out.

 

[BrokenVisage]

Best fast food burgers I've ever had.. their fires are SO over-rated though, a pizza shack I get from sometimes puts their seasoning to shame.

 

[Perknose]

Did this chain just originate yesterday or this morning?
I have seen two topics on this place now, and I've never once heard of it before today..

This couldn't POSSIBLY be a cross-parody thread combining Whoppee's religion troll threads and OT's continuing Five Guys fascination. That would be unpossible! :awe:

 

[MikeMike]

Best fast food burgers I've ever had.. their fires are SO over-rated though, a pizza shack I get from sometimes puts their seasoning to shame.

fyi, the seasoning on their cajun fries is just straight McCormicks Cajun Seasoning....

 

[zebano]

I LoL'ed
10/10

 

[foghorn67]

I've never seen one...therefore it doesn't exist.

\devil's advocate mode

Maybe it's like Norm's wife on Cheers. She does exist, but you never see her.

 

[erikistired]

i blame you for a forum full of bad parody threads.

the food is quite delicious tho. maybe i'll go there for dinner.

 

[OCGuy]

Haha

 

[Perknose]

i blame you for a forum full of bad parody threads.

the food is quite delicious tho. maybe i'll go there for dinner.

When you think about it, parody threads are disturbingly similar to fast food -- cheap, hastily constructed, and often hard to swallow. :awe:

 

[GagHalfrunt]

It's one of the world's great religions.

It's only worshipped by people too stupid to know better, so religion isn't a bad analogy.

For the rest of us it's a 4th-rate, overcooked grease burger.