What do you expect to find in Heaven?

[s0me0nesmind1]

72 virgins - that obviously have no idea how to have sex, titties, beer, and an imaginative figure that a lot of people stupidly dedicated much of their time to.

 

[SKORPI0]

At least 7 virgins.

Well 72 virgins guaranteed if you are a suicide bomber. 😉

 

[SNC]

If there is such a place, I want fucking answers! I want to know why football players get their prayers answered while a little girl who prays every night is still raped by her father, or the little boy is abused by a priest even while serving in gods own house.

 

[lxskllr]

If there is such a place, I want fucking answers! I want to know why football players get their prayers answered while a little girl who prays every night is still raped by her father, or the little boy is abused by a priest even while serving in gods own house.

God works in mysterious ways. If he told you, it would ruin the mystique. Kind of like a magic show.

 

[Thebobo]

If there is such a place, I want fucking answers! I want to know why football players get their prayers answered while a little girl who prays every night is still raped by her father, or the little boy is abused by a priest even while serving in gods own house.

yea good luck with that.

 

[Majes]

If there is such a place, I want fucking answers! I want to know why football players get their prayers answered while a little girl who prays every night is still raped by her father, or the little boy is abused by a priest even while serving in gods own house.

Not to be snide, but the short answer is sin and the sinful nature of man...

You probably already knew that though and you're more interested in why our universe is set up the way it is. I too am interested in that 🙂

 

[dank69]

Doesn't matter if it's 7, 72 or a gazillion. After the first 2 or 3 you're going to want to trade all your remaining virgins for 1 pro.

The joy comes from grooming them to become your kind of pro.

 

[zinfamous]

Not to be snide, but the short answer is sin and the sinful nature of man...

You probably already knew that though and you're more interested in why our universe is set up the way it is. I too am interested in that 🙂

I don't think that the turtles care about any of that. But I do want to know how the turtles got there, and what's keeping them there.

 

[Carson Dyle]

An endless supply of beer, ice cream and Snickers bars. A young Elizabeth Montgomery and the 1941 Duke Ellington Orchestra.

 

[paperfist]

Well 72 virgins guaranteed if you are a suicide bomber. 😉

Wow it's up to 72 now? They are being generous with virgins.

Can I just blow myself up to qualify? It's been one of those days.

 

[IronWing]

I don't think that the turtles care about any of that. But I do want to know how the turtles got there, and what's keeping them there.

They're high centered, all part of God's plan.

 

[eng2d2]

Heaven must be missin' an angel
Missin' one angel, child
'Cause you're here with me right now
Your love is heavenly, baby
Heavenly to me, baby

 

[local]

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

The joy comes from grooming them to become your kind of pro.

Have fun teaching them to enjoy fisting and S&M.

 

[Zeze]

My real personal take? None, I don't expect to exist. I didn't exist for millennia before and I won't be afraid of that again.

My fantasy?

A: It'll be a conventional human-limited imagination of us living in a tropical paradise - kind of like 5-star resorts. There's no true hunger or poverty or death. Everyone is somehow altered/permanently drugged to be continuously happy.

B: I mean we're talking God here right? He can take use through the journey of space. All the amazing paradises only thought to exist in video games... also go through blackhole. Also explore all kinds of billions of multiverses. Attain absolute knowledge, perfection, exists on a spectra realm.

 

[JulesMaximus]

My ceramic R2D2 lamp I had when I was a child. That and a real life X-wing fighter.

 

[Majes]

I don't think that the turtles care about any of that. But I do want to know how the turtles got there, and what's keeping them there.

Especially the mutant ones in their teens with ninja skills.

 

[zinfamous]

My ceramic R2D2 lamp I had when I was a child. That and a real life X-wing fighter.

you can keep that shwag. I'll take the ~26 year-old Carrie Fisher in her Jaba slave outfit.

 

[BurnItDwn]

A black monolith. Pure black, reflecting no light.
The ratio of the sides would be 1:4:9.

 

[JulesMaximus]

A black monolith. Pure black, reflecting no light.
The ratio of the sides would be 1:4:9.

Same dimensions as the one we found on the moon?

M O O N... that spells moon.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Same as the we found on the moon?

M O O N... that spells moon.

Yes.

 

[nakedfrog]

I don't think that the turtles care about any of that. But I do want to know how the turtles got there, and what's keeping them there.

Whaddya mean, "turtles"? It's just the one turtle, with four elephants standing on the shell, holding up the world. Granted, it's a pretty big turtle.

 

[IronWing]

I think Mayne will be in heaven, stirring a big pot of chili. It won't contain kidney beans.

 

[BxgJ]

I think Mayne will be in heaven, stirring a big pot of chili. It won't contain kidney beans.

You didn't mention the most important part. In heaven he'll have his own apartment, with no roommates.

 

[zinfamous]

You didn't mention the most important part. In heaven he'll have his own apartment, with no roommates.

...and that our Heaven will be living as tenants in Mayne's apartment, eating his chili. This way, he will be experiencing his hell.