What do you call a deer with no eyes

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Some old Christa McAuliffe jokes from the age of ten that still make me laugh:

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?
Because one blew that-away and the other one blew that-away

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders

What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left?
You feed the dog, I'll take care of the fishes!

what did christa tell her husband when he asked if she was going to take a shower?
"nope, ill just wash up on the shore"

what does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

how many NASA astronauts can you fit in a VW Bug?
11. 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 7 in the ashtray


those cracked me up hard when i was a kid. i still remember where i was when it happened, those jokes all surfaced within the week.

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: hanoverphist

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Some old Christa McAuliffe jokes from the age of ten that still make me laugh:

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?
Because one blew that-away and the other one blew that-away

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders

What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left?
You feed the dog, I'll take care of the fishes!

what did christa tell her husband when he asked if she was going to take a shower?
"nope, ill just wash up on the shore"

what does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

how many NASA astronauts can you fit in a VW Bug?
11. 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 7 in the ashtray


those cracked me up hard when i was a kid. i still remember where i was when it happened, those jokes all surfaced within the week.

Completely tasteless. :thumbsdown:

 

[markgm]

Originally posted by: KLin

Originally posted by: hanoverphist

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Some old Christa McAuliffe jokes from the age of ten that still make me laugh:

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?
Because one blew that-away and the other one blew that-away

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders

What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left?
You feed the dog, I'll take care of the fishes!

what did christa tell her husband when he asked if she was going to take a shower?
"nope, ill just wash up on the shore"

what does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

how many NASA astronauts can you fit in a VW Bug?
11. 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 7 in the ashtray


those cracked me up hard when i was a kid. i still remember where i was when it happened, those jokes all surfaced within the week.

Completely tasteless. :thumbsup:

Fixed

 

[TXHokie]

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Some old Christa McAuliffe jokes from the age of ten that still make me laugh:

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?
Because one blew that-away and the other one blew that-away

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders

What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left?
You feed the dog, I'll take care of the fishes!

Added one more to complete the tasteless joke set -

Where did Christa McAuliffe go on vacation?
All over Florida.

 

[Bumrush99]

You want tasteless from my early youth, huh???

Did you guys hear about Helen Keller's new book? Around the block in 80 days!!

Why did Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
She moaned and groaned with the other..

So many others that I can't remember at this time.

 

[SeminoleMarine]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
why did god make women with smaller feet than men

So they could stand closer to the sink.....................

 

[Bumrush99]

Originally posted by: SeminoleMarine

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
why did god make women with smaller feet than men

So they could stand closer to the sink.....................

that begs to ask another important question...
Why did god create women???
Because sheep can't cook

 

[VTHodge]

What do you call a girl with one leg?
Eileen

What do you call a Japanese girl with one leg?
Irene

 

[Bumrush99]

How is getting involved in the mafia and eating pu$$y similar???
One slip of the tongue and you're in deep sh%t

 

[spacejamz]

Originally posted by: Bumrush99
Some old Christa McAuliffe jokes from the age of ten that still make me laugh:

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had blue eyes?
Because one blew that-away and the other one blew that-away

How do you know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders

What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left?
You feed the dog, I'll take care of the fishes!

She was an English teacher, but she is History now.

NASA has switch to Sprite since they can't get 7 up.

 

[2canSAM]

what did the ghost say to the bee





BOO BEE

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: theLION

Originally posted by: Syringer
No idear.



What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye dear.


what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls?

Still no f-in eye dear


Your turn!

I liked it!!! =)

 

[Safeway]

Originally posted by: markgm
When I read Rodney Dangerfield jokes I hear them in his voice, and it makes them that much funnier!

Same thing man. I hear his voice like crazy.

 

[spacejamz]

Originally posted by: SeminoleMarine

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
why did god make women with smaller feet than men

So they could stand closer to the sink.....................

Why do brides wear white? So the dishwasher can match the fridge and the stove.

What do you do when a woman's watch breaks? Nothing, there is a clock on the stove.

What have you done wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen to yell at you? You made her chain too long.

* * * * *

A guy comes home from work and yells to his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"

She get a beer from the fridge, opens it and brings it to him.

Fifeteen minutes later, he yells, "Get me another beer before it starts!"

She obliges.

After he finishes that beer, he yells again, "Get me a another beer before it starts!"

She replies, "Are you just going to sit on your @ss all night and drink beer???"

He replies, "It started..."

 

[TheNinja]

What's the deal with ovaltine? It doesn't come in an oval container. You don't serve it in oval glasses. It should be called roundtine.

 

[SeminoleMarine]

Oldie yet lame:

How do you know the Polish guy at a cock fight?

He has a duck.

How do you know the Italian guy?

He bets on the duck.

How do you know the Mafia is there?

The duck wins.

 

[joecool]

did you hear about the guy with a dog with no legs named cigarette?

every night he takes it out for a drag!

 

[Kelemvor]

What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?

Ilene

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying on the floor?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs swimming?

Bob

Man, I could go on forever...

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: Kelemvor
What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?

Ilene

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying on the floor?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs swimming?

Bob

Man, I could go on forever...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art

 

[Scarpozzi]

Originally posted by: Kelemvor
What do you call a girl with one arm and one leg?

Ilene

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, lying on the floor?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs swimming?

Bob

Man, I could go on forever...

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel

 

[Scarpozzi]

Rodney Dangerfield....

When I was a kid I had bad acne. One time I fell asleep in a library, I woke up and a blind man was reading my face!


My wife is a terrible cook. The food is so bad that the flies pitched in to help patch the screen door.

 

[2Dead]

Originally posted by: markgm
When I read Rodney Dangerfield jokes I hear them in his voice, and it makes them that much funnier!

:laugh::thumbsup:

 

[Captante]

Q: Why can't an elephant ride a tricycle?
A: It doesn't have a little finger to ring the bell.


Q: How can you tell if theres an elephant hiding in your refrigerator?
A: Look for its footprints in the butter.


Q: How many elephants can you fit in a Volkswagon?
A: 6 ... 3 in the front & 3 in the back.


Q: How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch?
A: Paint its toenails red.

 

[2canSAM]

Q: How many elephants can you fit in a Volkswagon?
A: 6 ... 3 in the front & 3 in the back.

I don't get it

 

[Ulfwald]

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would run away too if your name was AAARRGGHHH!!!!UNNGGHHTT


Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he.