What do a college girl, semipro football player, horny guy and screenplay writer have in common?

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
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I recently posted this on craigslist.

And now, I will post the most amusing replies.


Date: Thu, 04 Dec 2003 13:19:52 -0800
Subject: Laundry Quote
From: "Erin"
To: job-20341186@craigslist.org

Hey there,

My name is Erin Myles and I am a 25 year old female who knows exactly what you are going through. I have spent over $300 on laundry services before. I would be willing to do the 20 loads for $200 which would include picking it up and dropping it off as well as special care for delicates etc. and folding.

If this is in your price range please let me know,

Thank you in advance for your time,

Erin.


From: GinoMalibu@aol.com
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 16:35:17 EST
Subject: LUANDRY
To: job-20341186@craigslist.org

I'LL DO UR LUANDRY, IF YOUR FUN IN BED. I'M NOT LOOKING PLAIN BORING SEX, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS AWESOME AND CAN BRAG ABOUT IT, AND LIKES & CAN TO DO IT LONGER THAN 2 HOURS AND DOESNT GET SORE FAST.

I'M A GOOD LOOKNG GUY THAT LIVES IN WEST LA, AND HERE ARE MY PICTURES

GINO
http://www.geocities.com/gino6547


Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 16:05:17 -0500
From: "Adam B."
To: job-20341186@craigslist.org
Subject: Clothes Washing

I just arrived in LA yesterday from Chicago and could use some extra cash while I try to sell a couple of screenplays.

If you have a washer and dryer and detergent I would do the job for $50. I am college educated (BS in Psychology) and extremely neat, honest and dependable.

If you wanted me to pick up the clothes and do them elsewhere I would do it for $70 plus the cost of paying for machines which should be about $40 if you truly have 20 loads.

I would be more than happy to provide a resume / references if desired. You can reach me at this email account: or at my friend's home telephone which is ...

Thanks.

kindly,
Adam


Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 12:43:34 -0800 (PST)
From: "Jordan benShea"
Subject: Response to Craigs list for: Please help me do my laundry - I'm running out of clothes to wear!
To: job-20341186@craigslist.org

Hi,

I am responding to your listing on Craigs list for:
Please help me do my laundry - I'm running out of
clothes to wear!

My quote would depend on whether you would be supplying the detergent, and the washing machine. Would I be going to a laundry mat or would this be at a house or apt with only one machine. Off the bat I would say $500, but I am open to suggestions as I need the money.

Thanks


Okay... so now, I have the option of:

1. Paying someone $200 to do my laundry.

2. Having sex with someone for 2 hours to do my laundry.

3. Having a psych major do my laundry.

4. Paying someone $500 to do my laundry (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).

5. Having a semipro football player do my laundry (see latest reply below).

That is all.

A few people actually offered $10/hour or $50 flat fee, so I think I'm going to follow up with them.

Next time, I'm going to do my own laundry.
 

iwearnosox

Lifer
Oct 26, 2000
16,018
5
0
I've had great luck with teh girls on craigslist in the past but it's seemingly trash lately, your ad aside. ;)

Always great fun to read the ads and talk to freaks, though. :D
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
Damn...I drop my sh1t off across the street and it's like $8 wash & fold for 2 weeks worth of laundry (3-4 loads) and about $20 worth of drycleaning. About $30/mo for me and my gf's stuff. Either you have a ton of clothes or your cleaners are EXPENSIVE!
 

iwearnosox

Lifer
Oct 26, 2000
16,018
5
0
BTW it's funny to read how illiterate the male trash is on there, my girlfriend placed an ad just to see the replies and we were *rolling* from them. You'd think guys trying to get laid would put a little energy into it!
 

Yossarian

Lifer
Dec 26, 2000
18,010
1
81
I have never heard of paying someone to do your laundry, but whatever! Stop being lazy and do it yourself.

btw I will do your laundry for only ONE hour of sex ;)
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
Originally posted by: PipBoy
I have never heard of paying someone to do your laundry, but whatever! Stop being lazy and do it yourself.
You've never heard of a maid? Or a Cleaners?
 

Yossarian

Lifer
Dec 26, 2000
18,010
1
81
Originally posted by: werk
Originally posted by: PipBoy
I have never heard of paying someone to do your laundry, but whatever! Stop being lazy and do it yourself.
You've never heard of a maid? Or a Cleaners?

Of course, but not taking out an ad for some random person. You know what I meant.
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
0
This one just came in... I could have a semipro football player doing my laundry!


Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 15:04:35 -0800 (PST)
From: "Morgan"
Subject: Laundry Position
To: job-20341186@craigslist.org


To whom it does concern,
My name is Morgan and I'm inquiring about the laundry
job. I'll do it for $100. Maybe a bit more depending
on how much there really is. This is good for me
because I'm trying to make some extra cash to buy some
Christmas gifts for relatives (Seriously). I'm on a
semi-pro football team so my schedule is flexible and
I have the time to do it. I've included my resume with
my contact info on it. My cell number is your best
bet to reach me.
Morgan
Home Address:
XXXXXXX
Home- XXXXXX / Cell- XXXXXX

EXPERIENCE Assistant- The Blackwood Agency
(2003)- Assistant Music Supervisor
Production Assistant- MTV?s ?Making The Video?.
(2002)
Production Assistant- Commercials for Crossroads Films
(2001, 2002)
Assistant to Academy Awards Publicist- Daily functions
include fielding all calls from the media; sending out
press releases; and creating and mailing press kits
(October 2001-April 2002).
Production Assistant- The Mothman Prophecies (2001,
Pellington Productions)
Production Assistant- Justice Done (2001, Po? Boy
Productions)
Production Assistant- Commercials for X-1 Films (2001)
Production Assistant- Commercials for Fusion Films
(2001)
Production Assistant- Music videos for Shadow Machine
Films (2001)

EDUCATION Slippery Rock University of Pennsylvania,
Slippery Rock, PA
B.A. in Communication
Overall QPA: 3.0/4.0

COURSE Research Methods Communication Law
HIGHLIGHTS Publication Production I Publication
Production II
Studio Production TV News & Field Production
Editing for Video Writing for Media & Film
Screen Writing (attended at Pittsburgh Film
Institute)
RELATED
EXPERIENCE Co-host, Campus Radio Show, 1998-2001
· Responsible for creating, producing, and co-hosting
a two hour, weekly variety show called ?The Night
Show.?
· Entertained audience with original comedy skits and
commentary about current issues while mixing music.
Sports anchor, Student Production Company, 1998-1999
· Covered the sports at Slippery Rock University
· Produced, directed, and edited all of the sports
segments

ACTIVITIES Kicker, SRU Football team, 1997-2000
· Obtained Full Athletic Scholarship
· Four year starting Place Kicker on Division II
Nationally Ranked Football team
· Four time All-Conference Selection at Place Kicker
· Holds six out of seven kicking records at SRU
· Holds two PSAC conference records (only player on
SRU team to ever break PSAC records)
Community Service, Slippery Rock, PA, 1998-2001
· Campus Clean-up
Morraine Middle School Mentoring Program



I can't believe he sent me his resume.
 

pulse8

Lifer
May 3, 2000
20,860
1
81
The fluff-and-fold is your friend.

I spend around $30 for 45lbs of laundry.

Edit: And you could probably get a guy on here to do it for free just to say he touched your undies. :p
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
0
Originally posted by: PipBoy
I have never heard of paying someone to do your laundry, but whatever! Stop being lazy and do it yourself.

btw I will do your laundry for only ONE hour of sex ;)

LOL, how generous of you. :p

I have a TON of laundry, and I just found someone to do it. A very sweet girl and her mother offered to do it at their house for $50, and I promised a nice bonus if I'm happy with the job. Whoo hoo!
 

loup garou

Lifer
Feb 17, 2000
35,132
1
81
Originally posted by: PipBoy
Originally posted by: werk
Originally posted by: PipBoy
I have never heard of paying someone to do your laundry, but whatever! Stop being lazy and do it yourself.
You've never heard of a maid? Or a Cleaners?

Of course, but not taking out an ad for some random person. You know what I meant.
haha...you need to peruse craigslist more often then...
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
0
Originally posted by: pulse8
The fluff-and-fold is your friend.

I spend around $30 for 45lbs of laundry.

Edit: And you could probably get a guy on here to do it for free just to say he touched your undies. :p

*traumatized* :p
 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
23,686
1
0
lol, why the hell would someone send you aresume for a job to do laundry?

hahaha jocks are soo awsome!
 

KingNothing

Diamond Member
Apr 6, 2002
7,141
1
0
The Psych major wants to provide a resume and references to do your laundry? That's like providing a resume to work at McDonalds. :confused:
 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
23,686
1
0
oh, also 20 loads of laundry is insane, how do you have that many clothes?

man if i washed all the loads of laundry i could including sheets and such it would only be like 5 loads, haha
 

Doggiedog

Lifer
Aug 17, 2000
12,780
5
81
I want to apply.

Here are my credentials:

Expert launderer with specialization in removing and cleaning ladies undergarments, professional photographer, ranked chess player, aspiring break dancer and into halloween costume design.

 

dxkj

Lifer
Feb 17, 2001
11,772
2
81
I grew up near Slippery Rock, my sister is going to college their right now :)
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
dont want to do laundry? get married and make your wife/husband do it! thats what i did. :D
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Rotflmao!! Dezign you are a trip! Would you really want some craig's list weirdo handling your delicates?

I actually found a mother and her daughter willing to do it at their house, which means I won't have to pay for laundramat quarters. :) Only $50, and I'll give them a nice bonus if they do a good job washing/folding.
 

imported_Tomato

Diamond Member
Sep 11, 2002
7,608
0
0
Originally posted by: Anubis
i could wash everything i own including funiture and it woudl be less then 20 loads

Okay, that made me laugh... thanks for the smile. :) I have a lot of clothes. :(
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: Anubis
i could wash everything i own including funiture and it woudl be less then 20 loads

yeah i could takeevery article of clothes i have and i wouldnt come close to 20 loads. now my wife? she could hit that easy.