What are some smart/interesting/funny messages for fortune cookies?

MustangSVT

Lifer
Oct 7, 2000
11,554
12
81
Here are some ideas so far.

For something funny:

"Try again"
"You like Chinese food."
"that wasnt chicken"
"Your car is being towed"
"Your wife is cheating on you"
"Get that thing on your ass checked by a doctor"
"You will meet a tall dark stranger and he will steal your wallet"

For something interesting:

"You are special" <---- plan to have bunch of these to make it funny i guess.. :)
"wear a rubber, dude"
"Help I'm being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory!"
"The best prophet of the future is the past."
"Just do it" or some corporate logo.

For those "WTF?" moments:

A bamboo winter will balm your dry health.
Your journey offers on best intentions.
Watch friends for morning, yet enemies for evening.
A walk of the garden forms your mission divine.
Blossoming gifts are your selfless passion.
True wealth derives a true tao.
Respect the horizon, not the sunrise.
A grand meal first desired is twice remembered.

 

Dimmu

Senior member
Jun 24, 2005
890
0
0
I once got one that said something to the effect of "The are the shinning star of his life." I just sat there, reread it, and just starting laughing oh so hard. I don't know if it ws one of those "you just had to be there" moments, but oh well.

EDIT: I'm a straight male BTW
 

jEct2

Golden Member
Mar 1, 2005
1,726
0
0
"You are an worthless alcoholic"

works best during afterparty when ppl are drunk.
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
1,998
126
Try being more original like:

"Your car is being towed"
"Your wife is cheating on you"
"Get that thing on your ass checked by a doctor"
"You will meet a tall dark stranger and he will steal your wallet"
 
Jun 19, 2004
10,860
1
81
My ex once told me that you are supposed to add the words "in bed" at the end of every fortune you read.

I once got one that read "You'll soon realize your shortcomings (in bed)."
 

MustangSVT

Lifer
Oct 7, 2000
11,554
12
81
wow some great ones :) thanx!

this will be very simple as ill just print it out, cut it in size.. insert them into cookies :)
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
62,267
18,141
136
I actually got one recently that said "Wishing you a good health"
Then on the back, it had one of the "learn chinese" things... except the word it was teaching me to say also appeared to be chinese.
 

MustangSVT

Lifer
Oct 7, 2000
11,554
12
81
any good ones that depict modern culture ?

I was thinking something like...

"Just do it" or some corporate logos...

yeah this will be an artsy gathering ;)
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
Can they sound "deep" yet be nonsensical? Then require each person to come up with an explanation of what it means.

A bamboo winter will balm your dry health.
Your journey offers on best intentions.
Watch friends for morning, yet enemies for evening.
A walk of the garden forms your mission divine.
Blossoming gifts are your selfless passion.
True wealth derives a true tao.
Respect the horizon, not the sunrise.
A grand meal first desired is twice remembered.