Went to Church for the First Time in a Long Time

[stormkroe]

Good thing to start indoctrinating your kids at a young age :thumbsup:

Impossible to avoid. At least we still have a choice of what to teach them.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

What denomination? The church we went to is a UCC (United Church of Christ).

Not all churches are created equal. I've been to some with incredible pastors and some with incredible congregations and poor pastors. It comes down to finding one that can help you and makes you want to help them.

I do get a chuckle out of those who think bands and dancing in church are somehow hypocritical or less appropriate.

Psalm 98:4King James Version (KJV)

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

I actually think this mentality is forcing people out of church, not that I have a problem with that. Children don't want to attend church. It offers them nothing but a stuffy place they are forced to dress up for and sit still and quiet for a long time in. They don't give two shits about Jesus or grasp the understanding of what is going on. Rather than build up a resentment for being forced and having them rebel, why not take them when they are old enough to begin to appreciate it and make a choice if they feel it will improve their life by attending?

I have a couple thoughts on this:

1) I want my kids to go to church because I think that (in general) Churches help to instill good values in children. Work hard. Treat others with kindness. Believe in something more than yourself. Etc.

2) There is a mystical element to faith that is way to easy to disregard at an older age. If you are never exposed to it at a young age, why would you think about it when you are older? In other words, kids need to go at a young age else they will never go when they are older. As a scientist I am generally skeptical about most religious beliefs and particularly about religious explanations for world events. I do however believe in the existence of something greater than ourselves. The world and cosmos are too complex for me to accept that it all happened by pure chance. We may not understand what set things in motion, but I find it hard to believe that it was complete chance.

My belief is fueled by various questions that cannot be answered by science, such as:

1. If the universe was created by the big bang, how and why was there a big lump of mass gathered in one spot in the first place? What came before that big lump of mass? How did that start?

2. What is consciousness?

3. Where did the laws of physics come from? I.e., why do the particular physical laws we are aware of apply in our universe, and not some other set of laws? Extend that question out to the basic building blocks of life (organic compounds, organisms, etc.)?

etc....

 

[Mai72]

Now your children are saved.

Congrats.

 

[PingviN]

Impossible to avoid. At least we still have a choice of what to teach them.

Well, in most cases you can teach critical thinking. Can't really do that when "teaching" someone to be religious.

 

[alkemyst]

So my wife and I went to church for the first time in a long time the other weekend. We are not particularly religious people, though we each consider ourselves to be Christian. Main reason for going is because our kids (now 5 and 2) had never set foot in a church, and we both feel that it is important for them to have some religious foundation and a belief in something bigger than humanity.

Anyway it had been almost 10 years since I went to a "regular" church service (i.e., one that was not tied to a major christian holiday). Suffice it to say I was blown away by the demographics at the service. My wife and I are pushing 40 and we were easily the youngest people in the pews by a good 20 years. No children present. Heck, apart from us no people under 60 were present. No Sunday school either. Was pretty clear that the church we went to was dying, quite literally.

Are all churches like this? Or are there some that have a good ratio of younger and older folks (and which are not cultish)? I have quite good memories of church when I was growing up, but that was a long time ago and it seems that times have . . . changed significantly.

I go to Christ Fellowship (gochristfellowship.com), based out of my neighborhood, but they have a church in NYC now too.

Really laid back, younger crowd. Not so preachy...understand that husbands and wive's have sex and are sexual (they make jokes that sort of are like the old one's in cartoons that the adults got, but the kids didn't really understand).

I like it. Their Christmas, Easter and a few other services during the year are spectacular.

Very non-preachy.

 

[alkemyst]

I actually think this mentality is forcing people out of church, not that I have a problem with that. Children don't want to attend church. It offers them nothing but a stuffy place they are forced to dress up for and sit still and quiet for a long time in. They don't give two shits about Jesus or grasp the understanding of what is going on. Rather than build up a resentment for being forced and having them rebel, why not take them when they are old enough to begin to appreciate it and make a choice if they feel it will improve their life by attending?

Children would also rather eat pudding/ice cream and drink soda all day.

I don't know of many children brought up properly that don't care about God or Jesus nor rebel against their parents for having to go to church.

Sounds like the right roots weren't put down to begin with.

 

[SlowSpyder]

My ex wife takes our eight year old to her church. I hope there isn't too much damage to try and undo. I can teach my son good values without the fairy tales attached.

OP, I believe in general the age of the faithful is climbing, and they are dying off faster than new s̶h̶e̶e̶p̶l̶e̶ members join. If you go to a traditional catholic type of church, I wouldn't be surprised to see a lot more older people than younger people. But, there are more modern christian churches and faiths that seem to be much more popular with younger christians.

I've been to some of the those newer ones, listened and talked to members and even a couple of preachers. I feel a lot of what is preached there is quite watered down from what is actually in the bible, though. Probably easier to keep membership if you don't expect too much out of your flock and play new hip music. Whatever keeps the collection plates full, I guess.

 

[KeithTalent]

I have a couple thoughts on this:

1) I want my kids to go to church because I think that (in general) Churches help to instill good values in children. Work hard. Treat others with kindness. Believe in something more than yourself. Etc.

Isn't that your job?

KT

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Isn't that your job?

KT

It takes a village.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Easy answer

People are not as primitive and easily fooled as they used to be.

Everyone and their mothers know that religion/church is a business. It blows my mind they are still in business at this point, especially when you consider the amount of abuse that has been uncovered in recent years.

I really don't understand why you are introducing your children to superstition and "make believe" so early in their life.

If anything you should be teaching them the opposite.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Easy answer

People are not as primitive and easily fooled as they used to be.

Everyone and their mothers know that religion/church is a business. It blows my mind they are still in business at this point, especially when you consider the amount of abuse that has been uncovered in recent years.

I really don't understand why you are introducing your children to superstition and "make believe" so early in their life.

If anything you should be teaching them the opposite.

Easy answers regarding human beliefs, culture and, society are always wrong.

 

[Uppsala9496]

What denomination? The church we went to is a UCC (United Church of Christ).

Wife took the kid (6) for the first time in ages to church last Sunday since they were having a service about members that passed this year (both my mom and grandma). Same denomination (UCC). Plenty of people in their 40's and there was sunday school.

I stayed home with the shits.

 

[Red Squirrel]

It probably depends a lot on the area and the actual church. I'm Born Again and my church has always been pretty full of young and older people. Though there's barely nobody my own age now that I think about it, there's young kids, teenagers then after that all people in their 30's and up. I think a lot of the people my age ended up moving out of town after college though, I got lucky enough to find a job here but there's not much.

Our church has all sorts of activities like youth group and such. I miss those days, we had quite a lot of fun. I don't care who you are, doing stuff like playing Halo with a projector pointing at the church ceiling is freaking awesome. :biggrin: We also did city wide scavenger hunts and stuff.

Sadly these days people get sucked too much into being part of the world, and believing in God is something people are put down for. It just shows how dark and separated from God this world is becoming.

 

[vi edit]

Look up Universal Unitarian and see if you have a local branch. Definitely a younger, more educated crowd there.

In the last few cities I've lived, the whole church thing had moved to the "mega church" concept. Little churches are indeed dying. People are flocking to the city block sized compounds that have a basketball court, starbucks, dry cleaning service and big screen telebroadcasts to the opposite side of the complex since they are so freaking big that you can't even see the service from where you are.

 

[NoTine42]

Not all churches are created equal. I've been to some with incredible pastors and some with incredible congregations and poor pastors. It comes down to finding one that can help you and makes you want to help them.

I do get a chuckle out of those who think bands and dancing in church are somehow hypocritical or less appropriate.

Psalm 98:4King James Version (KJV)

I don't think there is anything wrong in having enjoyable music in a church.

The problem happens when the church service becomes an emotional-only experience...because emotion won't solve all of life's issues.

 

[Retro Rob]

There is something to be said for pragmatism. We had "rock 'n' roll" churches and "hippie" ministers in the '60's and '70's when I was growing up; a lot of kids in the church continued coming to church because of the willingness of priests and laity to reach out in different ways.

Teaching and learning work best in environments that are conducive to the process; if that means reaching out in "non-traditional" ways to the laity, so be it.

I don't have a problem with reaching out in non-traditional ways, I just believe that things will have to be watered-down in order to get "young people".

 

[JEDIYoda]

Well, in most cases you can teach critical thinking. Can't really do that when "teaching" someone to be religious.

depends on your definition of Critical thinking....

 

[Retro Rob]

Impossible to avoid. At least we still have a choice of what to teach them.

lol

 

[Merad]

Methinks the people celebrating the death of religion must not have ever been religious themselves. The last time I went to church regularly was 10 years ago. Our church was always almost devoid of people from roughly 20-35. Once people went off to college or moved out of their parents house they would usually stop coming to church. Then once they got married and had kids they'd start trickling back in by their mid 30s or 40s.

Yeah, young kids today are less interested in religion, but let's see what happens in 20 years...

 

[Malak]

What denomination? The church we went to is a UCC (United Church of Christ).

I can skim through the yellow pages and tell you which churches will be the experience you had or different just by their names. Churches are either about religion or community, and the religious ones are boring and full of old people. There is a huge problem with churches in America specifically. It's a constant question of what church is supposed to be. And it's a question you have to ask yourself, what you want church to be for you.

The best advice I can give is avoid all denominations and find an independent church.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I have a couple thoughts on this:

1) I want my kids to go to church because I think that (in general) Churches help to instill good values in children. Work hard. Treat others with kindness. Believe in something more than yourself. Etc.

2) There is a mystical element to faith that is way to easy to disregard at an older age. If you are never exposed to it at a young age, why would you think about it when you are older? In other words, kids need to go at a young age else they will never go when they are older. As a scientist I am generally skeptical about most religious beliefs and particularly about religious explanations for world events. I do however believe in the existence of something greater than ourselves. The world and cosmos are too complex for me to accept that it all happened by pure chance. We may not understand what set things in motion, but I find it hard to believe that it was complete chance.

My belief is fueled by various questions that cannot be answered by science, such as:

1. If the universe was created by the big bang, how and why was there a big lump of mass gathered in one spot in the first place? What came before that big lump of mass? How did that start?

2. What is consciousness?

3. Where did the laws of physics come from? I.e., why do the particular physical laws we are aware of apply in our universe, and not some other set of laws? Extend that question out to the basic building blocks of life (organic compounds, organisms, etc.)?

etc....

I went to church when I was a child and I never go to church now.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

OP, I also will make sure my children are forced to go to church until they can make their own decision to continue or not. At the very least, make them baptized. I was never baptized, so I often feel like a reject when I attend ceremonies. I'm like some lurking troll in the back who can't eat jesus' body or drink his blood because of my filthy soul.

...so get baptized? It's easy; have your wife do it. It'll take two minutes.

(No, seriously - at least in the church I was brought up in, what mattered in an adult baptism is mindset; they didn't have to be performed by a pastor or even a christian, if the person involved as sincere in their acceptance of jesus and stuff.)

 

[SlowSpyder]

Sadly these days people get sucked too much into being part of the world, and believing in God is something people are put down for. It just shows how dark and separated from God this world is becoming.

The majority of this world has probably always been separated from your god. Only about some 30.5% of the world's population is christian. That number has only budged 3-4% downward over the last 100+ years. Do you really think the world is a 'darker' place compared to 1910?

 

[SlowSpyder]

I can skim through the yellow pages and tell you which churches will be the experience you had or different just by their names. Churches are either about religion or community, and the religious ones are boring and full of old people. There is a huge problem with churches in America specifically. It's a constant question of what church is supposed to be. And it's a question you have to ask yourself, what you want church to be for you.

The best advice I can give is avoid all denominations and find an independent church.

I agree totally. My ex wife started searching for churches, she kept only going to new ones once or twice. She couldn't find one that was upbeat with music she liked for a while, something with a preacher that wasn't too, err, preachy. I just don't get that attitude. If you believe in god, you serve him, not the opposite. So what is in the bible is what you go by, and I'd try and find a church that is close to that as I could. But for her it was more about finding a nice fit for her, not her trying to fit what god would want into her life necessarily. I think a lot of people tend to worship based on whatever the preacher says, not necessarily what the bible says... unless the command from the bible is easy to do and won't impact your life too much.