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Went House Hunting...and Poop happened...

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The problem wasn't the toilet...well...not the entire problem. The problem is my poo is so massive, it actually clogs normal toilets. I've broken pipes at work! Shattered them and made the contents leak onto squad cars parked in the garage below. In hindsight, I should have flushed, or tried so, after pinching it off because I KNEW it was solid coming out. It was like shitting out an I-Beam.

I have read once that in some hot third world country, they used manure and human feces as binding agent for walls for the hut / shelter / home.

I guess with the quality you produce, they can finally build skyscrapers...:biggrin:
 
Every year or so I read the same thing. Last time it was a guy in Golden Coral restaurant who elaborately decribed his poop to the same extent. Next year, how about a porta potty, or even better, perhaps a travel trailer.
 
every post i have ever made about poop (a genuinely funny subject) has been swept down upon and locked by the admins. and yet this one is celebrated as a fine work of art?

doublestandard
 
Ok now that was just hilarious! I was literally LOLing. My cat is still looking at me thinking I've gone insane.

Come to think of it, I've been quite lucky when I was house hunting, I have never had to fight that battle. I do remember when I bought my house, and baptized the toilet though, using it for the first time. There is a really weird sensation when you are using someone else's toilet, but in reality, it's now yours.
 
where did your turds fall on the bristol scale?

Bristol_stool_chart.svg
 
Type 1 is not too bad to pass, but it is the most notorious for splashbacks. This is why I always flush the toilet before using it, if it's public. At least I know the water is fresh. Type 2 and 3 are the most enjoyable to have. More specifically 3. A tad hard to pass, but requires minimum wiping. Type 2 can leave the butt surprisingly clean, other than a bit of blood, which cleans nicely with a single wipe. It's also a sign to drink a bit more water.

Type 4 is the worse of the worse. Can easily go through an entire roll and still have more to wipe especially if you have lot of hair. Like cleaning peanut butter off a shagged carpet. 5 6 and 7 are usually easy to pass and wipe, but are usually also a sign of not feeling too well. Type 7 is typical when you have a very bad flu, or C Diff. 3 weeks of not eating will do that. Comes out as a yellow liquid with a few chunks in it, which are simply residue from the colon that has been there for a long time, finally coming out as what is basically just stomac acid passes by. Hurts a little to pass because of the pH level.
 
how did it overflow? u flush twice?

When you flush a toilet, it generally drains down and empties. Then as the reservoir fills up, there is a small amount of water that also refills the bowl to its normal level so that there is standing water to cover your next crap. Well...the slow refill is what pushed it over the edge. I HATE that slow refill now. Its the devil!
 
I run to the bathroom, with the turtle already poking out and saying hello to the inside of my pants. I quickly drop the jeans and slam down on the toilet. LORD HAVE MERCY! It was huge, as if God himself wanted me to experience the pain of birth.

mr-poopy-pants.jpg
 
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