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Wedding planning blows *****'s *** ****.

Zeze

Zeze

Lifer
Okay, so we really lucked out with a nice venue and catering. Surprisingly zero hassle. Great price, great staff, great venue, etc. We still have a lot to plan, but two big things are out of the way.

Surprisingly (or not, for those who got married), the sucky part comes from the drama. Because wedding is a milestone event, everyone gets sensitive & don't want to feel left out. I've always read about it, but I had no idea I wasn't special.

We found the venue and the date, and will be making the deposit tomorrow. The short-sighted me put the my date on my gmail chat status. Then my mom called me and got an earful from her because I didn't consult her at all or even ask if my own parents were free. D'oh. Stupid stupid me.

So I told my fiancee to call her mom quick. Her older brother picked up the phone. Holy Christ, out of nowhere he gets all dramatic because the venue is too far from his family & church friends (90 min drive). My fiancee said she's not picking a place to just please the distant church friends (her mom's friends really). Then he said you have to considerate and respectful.

Fuck that, it's her day of celebration. If the location is too far and it's 'inconveniencing' you, then don't come. That shows your level of your relationship.

I mean, we JUST started planning, and our first step is already a drama.

We have to tread carefully. No wonder there are reality shows about wedding drama on TV.

I wish we could just elope and go get hammered with close friends instead.
 
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heh, so glad my in-laws basically planned the whole thing. I just showed up, was fed a lot, and married the girl of my dreams.
 
I went through the same thing.
I reminded them that it was my and my fiance's wedding, not theirs and they could shut the fuck up.
Worked great.
 
oldsmoboat said:
I went through the same thing.
I reminded them that it was my and my fiance's wedding, not theirs and they could shut the fuck up.
Worked great.
Click to expand...

exactly what you need to do. remind them this is YOUR day and if they don't like it to fucking bad.
 
vshah said:
heh, so glad my in-laws basically planned the whole thing. I just showed up, was fed a lot, and married the girl of my dreams.
Click to expand...

Wise man's words.

I did the same, let my wife worry about the whole thing (She wanted it that way). All I did was showing up, ate and drank from dawn till dusk then screwed the bride at the end of the night.
 
if their commute takes them along 287, 90 minutes is no excuse. 287 is such a good drive... assuming you're going the opposite direction commuters are going.
 
Don't do a big wedding. Just do something simple for a few thousand with only your immediate family. Under twenty people.
 
I got married in June and my wife still talks about our wedding and compares it to other people's. Good news for you is that it is never going to end. Being married is basically like wedding planning for the rest of your life.
 
I know I'm going to sound like a freak, but I rather enjoyed the whole wedding process. I attended a bunch of wedding conventions, designed my own wedding invitation, did taste tests at a bunch of venues, made the videos, created the schedule, etc. In the end, I think we pulled off a memorable wedding for 400+ people at a private country club. In an alternate life, I think I would make a pretty good wedding coordinator.
 
agreed....it's your wedding, plan it for your convenience. At the same time, make sure that the Maid of Honor and Best Man are fully up to date on everything. As it gets closer to count down, things will get more hectic, and having someone else who is fully up to date and knows all of the plans, will be a huge help. On the day, the bride and groom should be concentrating on nothing except each other and having fun; the Maid of Honor and Best Man should be the "go to" people for all questions and answers. Good luck
 
Make sure you take all the decision makers to the tastings. Also, remember to consider food allergies and dietary restrictions (poll your invitees).
 
90 minutes is nothing

I drove from just a little east of Chicago all the way up to the northern part of upper Michigan for a wedding involving work friends I only knew for a few months. Was about 8-9 hours of driving. The church friends can go fuck themselves. If the people care they will come. If they bitch then you have every right to not invite them.
 
Your options are:

1. Nonstop fighting. What you just went through, but over every single detail. For every single detail at least one person will have strong feelings.
2. Fuck it all, let the parents run the show. You will probably get nothing you want, except for peace.
3. Fuck them all, go elope. You don't get the wedding you want but at no point will you feel like a bear juggling on a unicycle, and eloping itself is comparatively easy and stress-free. However, everyone that would have beem pissed under option #1 will also be pissed, but more so.
 
Zeze said:
Fuck that, it's her day of celebration. If the location is too far and it's 'inconveniencing' you, then don't come. That shows your level of your relationship. I mean, we JUST started planning, and our first step is already a drama. We have to tread carefully. No wonder there are reality shows about wedding drama on TV. I wish we could just elope and go get hammered with close friends instead.
Click to expand...

Keep that attitude, whatever happens! It is your soon to be wifes day nobody elses. Some people think they are so important that they have to come first in every situation. Like 90 minutes is even far to travel!

If anyone has an issue tell them to go fuck themselves, the rest will soon get the idea.
 
CPA said:
Your future brother-in-law sounds like an ass.
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Sounds like?

I couldn't find my thread I posted earlier.

He's a man baby. 34 years old, lives at home with mom, leases a lexus 'for mom' then drives it around himself, failed a business and owes my fiance 30K (you'll never see it), doesn't act brotherly at all (slept in his room while his little sister was moving out), etc.

Their dad passed away recently. He now says "I'm the man of the house & family" at his parents' home.

He thinks he's important and talks down to my fiancee like she's an idiot. "IT'S TOO FAR" "TOO EXPENSIVE". Yeah what a brother you are, why don't you pay her back that 30K, act like a real man, then you can talk.
 
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We had some of this with our wedding. Just do what you want. People will get over it and realize it's about you and your fiancée. If they don't, they're probably not the type of people you really care to know anymore.
 
In laws are the universes way of saying fuck you you will always had to put ip with bullshit. When you have kids it's worse. Fuxking meddling and passive aggressive slights.


I kept my mouth shut for a decade. This Christmas I almost kicked them out of the house.

Pick your battles wisely. Get a prenup. Everyone I know has a dickhead brother in law.

My bil this Christmas didnt show but managed to piss off everybody
 
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