- Jul 3, 2003
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Anyway, I pretty much shot her down...because I'm a giant asshole (I'm sure that is sig worthy). Seriously, she was in tears at a couple points during the conversation. I didn't mean to be so harsh but geez, sometimes she just doesn't think things through when emotions are involved.
Background: We have a healthy, happy, 5 year old son. We haven't been trying real hard to have another but we haven't been trying to prevent it either. In fact, we're pretty sure she had a miscarriage a couple years ago (if you want the details on that I'll elaborate). Anyway, she is adopted and she's talked on and off over the years about adopting but I've always been lukewarm on the issue.
Then she brings it up again last night. I was stunned quite frankly, we have been having a difficult time with her career lately, just making ends meet, depleting our savings and she wants to adopt a child? :shocked: We have a nice house, nice cars and make a decent living but if the real estate market continues the way it has there's just no way we can afford it right now without giving up something...like the house and/or her car (mine is almost paid for).
Anyway, I spelled it out for her. I basically would be fine making some sacrifices if she were to become pregnant with a child of our making but I'm not willing to change my life for a child that isn't mine. Try explaining those feelings to a woman who was adopted...fuck, I can't win...hence the tears.
Women...gotta love em.
Edit-I know I said some things to her that didn't come out right...or as I intended and it's not like she was weeping uncontrollably but she did tear up a couple times.
Like I said earlier, she realized that the timing isn't good for us to even consider this right now and I did apologize to her for some of the things I said. We've moved on and it's not an issue anymore. Will she bring it up again in the future? Perhaps. I don't know.
Thanks for all the comments everyone. :beer:
Background: We have a healthy, happy, 5 year old son. We haven't been trying real hard to have another but we haven't been trying to prevent it either. In fact, we're pretty sure she had a miscarriage a couple years ago (if you want the details on that I'll elaborate). Anyway, she is adopted and she's talked on and off over the years about adopting but I've always been lukewarm on the issue.
Then she brings it up again last night. I was stunned quite frankly, we have been having a difficult time with her career lately, just making ends meet, depleting our savings and she wants to adopt a child? :shocked: We have a nice house, nice cars and make a decent living but if the real estate market continues the way it has there's just no way we can afford it right now without giving up something...like the house and/or her car (mine is almost paid for).
Anyway, I spelled it out for her. I basically would be fine making some sacrifices if she were to become pregnant with a child of our making but I'm not willing to change my life for a child that isn't mine. Try explaining those feelings to a woman who was adopted...fuck, I can't win...hence the tears.
Women...gotta love em.
Edit-I know I said some things to her that didn't come out right...or as I intended and it's not like she was weeping uncontrollably but she did tear up a couple times.
Like I said earlier, she realized that the timing isn't good for us to even consider this right now and I did apologize to her for some of the things I said. We've moved on and it's not an issue anymore. Will she bring it up again in the future? Perhaps. I don't know.
Thanks for all the comments everyone. :beer: