Arguing from ignorance is fun i take it.
It's not my job to teach you how things work.
Use the magic of Google, its the "good enough" teacher of the modern student.
You're absolutely right, a teacher would have to have at least a shred of knowledge about the subject. A tip if you follow your own advice, neither 'How do I make ROPs run a hashing algorithm' nor 'How do I make fixed function hardware do something it doesn't' are likely to get too many hits.