UPS man peed in my yard...

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: b2386

Originally posted by: JD50

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

Just make sure your parents aren't home from work yet.

I'll be the first to admit its not the "mature" thing to do but I just want to have a little fun at his expense. is the one that wronged me, after all.

No, he just went to the bathroom, away from your view, or so he thought. YOU on the other hand, are taking it to another level. And committing another wrong, which I've heard never really makes things any better.
Damn, are you sure you're an adult?
What you are planning is simply stupid and childish, and could subject you to some unintended consequences.
I pray someone catches one of you idiots in the act and presses charges. Like a neighbor!
Oh! the ironing.

 

[ja1484]

Originally posted by: spidey07
Don't worry about it. Nothing you can do now. If it were me I'd run over there and pee on that spot. This is MY house.

Winner. Go re-mark your territory and get on with life. Birds probably shit all over your lawn every day. Are you pissed about that?

Originally posted by: b2386

Originally posted by: OdiN
What would you have told him if he asked to use your restroom?

If when giving me my package, he had asked to use the restroom because he had to go really bad, I would have let him. I don't mind when people use my toilets. I do mind, though, when people act like some untrained animal and treat my yard as some big diaper. There are woods about 20 feet away from where he peed. If he had walked those 20 feet into the woods and peed, I would not have a problem. But its the fact that he peed in the yard on my expensive sod where me and my dogs walk. There is no excuse for that sort of behavior.

Also: If you care about your lawn beyond basic neighborhood statutes, you lose at life.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Originally posted by: loup garou

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman

Originally posted by: thedarkwolf
The whole dog piss thing is a myth. 3 big dogs sometimes 4 in my yard and no yellow spots and yes 1 of my 3 is female. The damage to my grass is all from the dogs running around in the same spots and digging.

How large is the female? It's definitely not a myth. Just do a google search. Heck, there are a number of products out there to help resolve the problem.

Just took a pick of the corner of my patio, done by my two female Ridgebacks - Backyard Yellow Spots

Yes, it is not a myth, we have yellow spots from our female Boston terrier.

But, really, did you just go take a picture of your dogs' piss spots for an argument you're having on the internet? :laugh:

Looking at your post count. It's better than spending my whole life posting here. :laugh:

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: SonicIce
I thought it was like a fertilzer?

Everyone thinks that but one whiff will tell you it's more ammonia than nitrogen it composition.

 

[ja1484]

LOL, just read OP's "revenge" plans.

People who take life seriously need some Bill Hicks.

OP, you are that guy. This HAS to be real!

 

[loup garou]

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman

Originally posted by: loup garou

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman

Originally posted by: thedarkwolf
The whole dog piss thing is a myth. 3 big dogs sometimes 4 in my yard and no yellow spots and yes 1 of my 3 is female. The damage to my grass is all from the dogs running around in the same spots and digging.

How large is the female? It's definitely not a myth. Just do a google search. Heck, there are a number of products out there to help resolve the problem.

Just took a pick of the corner of my patio, done by my two female Ridgebacks - Backyard Yellow Spots

Yes, it is not a myth, we have yellow spots from our female Boston terrier.

But, really, did you just go take a picture of your dogs' piss spots for an argument you're having on the internet? :laugh:

Looking at your post count. It's better than spending my whole life posting here. :laugh

Any other cliched comebacks you'd like to use? So far I live in my parents' basement and do nothing but post here. Maybe suggest I will never know the touch of a woman? Fat slob? Go ahead. Anyways, if you took half a second to do some math in your head, you'd see that my PPD is only a few more than yours...that's right, you're right on track to join me here in my parents' basement, loser!

 

[skace]

I think you should go ahead with this plan and yes be sure to record it. Nothing bad could possibly come from this.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

Are you really that stupid? I hope someone from UPS is reading this thread.

Author Icon:
First Name: Chris
Last Name: J
Username: b2386
City: Ellijay
Province/State: Georgia
Country: United States
E-mail Address: deanj@ellREMOVEijay.com

 

[b2386]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

Are you really that stupid? I hope someone from UPS is reading this thread.

Author Icon:
First Name: Chris
Last Name: J
Username: b2386
City: Ellijay
Province/State: Georgia
Country: United States
E-mail Address: deanj@ellREMOVEijay.com

Yeah, I hope so, too. Maybe they will actually reprimand the driver who peed in my yard.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Originally posted by: b2386

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

Are you really that stupid? I hope someone from UPS is reading this thread.

Author Icon:
First Name: Chris
Last Name: J
Username: b2386
City: Ellijay
Province/State: Georgia
Country: United States
E-mail Address: deanj@ellREMOVEijay.com

Yeah, I hope so, too. Maybe they will actually reprimand the driver who peed in my yard.

Just file a complaint w/ UPS and move on.

 

[OutHouse]

eh just let it go. the man prob had to go really bad. you know one of those pisses that is right at the end of your pecker and if you dont unzip its going to flow no matter what.

 

[Vehemence]

A great way to get back would be to fuck his wife and post pics on ATOT.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: b2386
Hi all,

Today I had a package delivered by the UPS driver and, since I have the day off, I was at home to accept the package when he arrived. After he gave me the delivery, I went to the window to watch him leave. Well, to my surprise, instead of walking directly back to his truck, the driver walked over to a tree in my side yard. He then proceeded to stand behind the tree (for cover) and peed directly in my yard. He was only about 12 feet from the house when he did it and this completely pisses me off. I realize I should have said something then but was so shocked that I really didn't know how to react. Does anyone know what I shoud/can do?

Nothing now that you chose to do nothing when it was happening.

 

[Itchrelief]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

Originally posted by: SonicIce
I thought it was like a fertilzer?

Everyone thinks that but one whiff will tell you it's more ammonia than nitrogen it composition.

Well, ammonia does contain nitrogen, but it has to be converted to nitrate or something or other before the plant can use it.

 

[SaltBoy]

This thread > * :laugh::laugh:

 

[sjwaste]

Originally posted by: b2386

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

Are you really that stupid? I hope someone from UPS is reading this thread.

Author Icon:
First Name: Chris
Last Name: J
Username: b2386
City: Ellijay
Province/State: Georgia
Country: United States
E-mail Address: deanj@ellREMOVEijay.com

Yeah, I hope so, too. Maybe they will actually reprimand the driver who peed in my yard.

That rug really tied the room together, man.

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: b2386

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

Are you really that stupid? I hope someone from UPS is reading this thread.

Author Icon:
First Name: Chris
Last Name: J
Username: b2386
City: Ellijay
Province/State: Georgia
Country: United States
E-mail Address: deanj@ellREMOVEijay.com

Yeah, I hope so, too. Maybe they will actually reprimand the driver who peed in my yard.

More likely you'll find an army of the men in brown, calling forth a sea of yellow on your lawn pretty soon.

KT

 

[Walzber813]

Originally posted by: dNor
A great way to get back would be to fuck his wife and post pics on ATOT.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever read. How the hell do you have enough money to afford, not only a house, but $15,000 in grass? Admit it, you fell ass-backwards into money. I'm guessing inheritance from a rich grandmother who never met you (or she would have realized it would be better to just bury her money with her, lest you wind up with it).

How about this: Quit being such a fucking pansy-ass and just talk to the damn driver. Say this: "Excuse me. Last week, after you delivered my package, and I happened to notice you urinating on my lawn. Needless to say, I was shocked; this is not typically something one expects to see looking out their window. I wasn't going to say anything, but it's been weighing on my mind, and I feel I must tell you that I was offended that you had the audacity to miturate on my lawn. In the future, if you need to relieve yourself, simply ask me, and I'll be happy to let you use my restroom. Thank you."

That might be something an adult would do.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: b2386
Yeah, I hope so, too. Maybe they will actually reprimand the driver who peed in my yard.

Or maybe you could have just pulled up your big boy pants and confronted the guy when it happened. Why didn't you just tell him that if he needed to use the bathroom, he could have asked you instead of pissing in your lawn. He was only 12 feet from your house when it happened, so it's not like you would have had to exert yourself. If he didn't apologize, then maybe you'd have cause to complain to his supervisor. Why on earth would you think that an acceptible response would be to stand and watch, then spend a week getting pissy about it and plan on vandalizing their property? Peeing on someone's lawn is pretty tacky, though harmless, but your response is truly pathetic. You might just consider growing the fuck up.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Originally posted by: sjwaste
That rug really tied the room together, man.

That brings up an interesting question. Did the UPS driver happen to be a Chinaman?

 

[PottedMeat]

Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy

Originally posted by: b2386
OK, here's the plan. I am going to get a package delivered next week (Monday) since I have that day off and will be home most of the time. A couple of buddies are going to come over as well to help me pull this off. Prior to the UPS driver arriving, we are going to fill up a quart jar with soured milk and pureed durian purchased from the local Asian market. When the driver arrives, he always parks on the side of the house by the garage and walks in front of the house to the front door, out of sight of his vehicle. I will accept the package as usual but will also have some sort of printout from UPS.com about prepaid labels and ask a few BS questions about how that works simply as a method to stall. During this time one of my friends is going to be filming with a video camera in a hidden location and the other is going to go dump the contents of the jar into the truck's floorboard. When the driver gets back to his truck and gets inside, he will be greeted by the most wonderful smell! My friend is also going to do something else while he is at the truck, but you will have to wait till the video is posted to see what that is...

This is one of the stupidest things I have ever read. How the hell do you have enough money to afford, not only a house, but $15,000 in grass? Admit it, you fell ass-backwards into money. I'm guessing inheritance from a rich grandmother who never met you (or she would have realized it would be better to just bury her money with her, lest you wind up with it).

How about this: Quit being such a fucking pansy-ass and just talk to the damn driver. Say this: "Excuse me. Last week, after you delivered my package, and I happened to notice you urinating on my lawn. Needless to say, I was shocked; this is not typically something one expects to see looking out their window. I wasn't going to say anything, but it's been weighing on my mind, and I feel I must tell you that I was offended that you had the audacity to miturate on my lawn. In the future, if you need to relieve yourself, simply ask me, and I'll be happy to let you use my restroom. Thank you."

That might be something an adult would do.

But that doesn't have the potential to be a horrible hilarious train wreck.

 

[Goosemaster]

lol

 

[boomerang]

Have you considered staying home all the time? You know, there may be a lot of people peeing on your lawn on different days at different times. The UPS guy might just be the tip of the iceberg. Maybe you should stay home and stay awake 24 hours a day to find out if anybody else is relieving themselves on your lawn.

They of course would all need to be taught a lesson. You've already got a game plan. Hide in the house, peek out and watch them. Then plan revenge and spring the trap.

If this doesn't sound crazy to you, get professional help.

 

[ObiDon]

if you filed an official complaint with UPS about this...
deliveries throughout the united states would grind to a halt as the entire company bursted into several months of continuous laughter.