UPDATED: UPDATED: YAGT: to call or not to call.

[polm]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: polm
alright...so I will call after I get off work. i'll keep y'all posted.

BTW....I officially induct myself into the "Golden Member" club 🙂

polm
Senior Member

Posts: 1000
Joined: May 2001

Not yet you don't. 😀

- M4H

bittersweet :disgust:

 

[xirtam]

Goldmember? Hm.

Quote

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There is absolutely no way to protect yourself from heartbreak. Not by choosing religous girls, not by only dating virgins, not by background checks, not by lie detectors.
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how about not getting involved in the first place

Then you save yourself from heartbreak only to perpetuate heartache.

 

[polm]

Then you save yourself from heartbreak only to perpetuate heartache.

Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all ?

 

[xirtam]

From MIB:

Try it sometime.

From me:

You're screwed both ways.

 

[440sixpack]

Originally posted by: polm

The part of me that wants to spend more time with her, or the part of me that sais "RUN RUN RUN" .

As much as no one wants to hear it (I know I don't), I'd be more likely to believe the "run, run, run" part, that instinct is often correct.

But then again, what do I know? 😕

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: 440sixpack

Originally posted by: polm

The part of me that wants to spend more time with her, or the part of me that sais "RUN RUN RUN" .

As much as no one wants to hear it (I know I don't), I'd be more likely to believe the "run, run, run" part, that instinct is often correct.

But then again, what do I know? 😕

right. I see what you mean. The problem is that I am burned from some failed previous relationships, in which "wild women" really treated me like crap. So I think these days I tend to approach ALL women with an over-exxagerated mistrust based on any, seemingly, wild attributes.

So maybe my instincts are just manifestations of cowardice ?

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: eakers
just call the girl if you want to.

its not that hard.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Aquaman

Originally posted by: eakers
just call the girl if you want to.

its not that hard.

look. I have a Golden Membership EXCLUSIVELY built on the AT Off Topic forums....what do you think the odds are that calling this girl is "not that hard" for me ?

 

[440sixpack]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: 440sixpack

Originally posted by: polm

The part of me that wants to spend more time with her, or the part of me that sais "RUN RUN RUN" .

As much as no one wants to hear it (I know I don't), I'd be more likely to believe the "run, run, run" part, that instinct is often correct.

But then again, what do I know? 😕

right. I see what you mean. The problem is that I am burned from some failed previous relationships, in which "wild women" really treated me like crap. So I think these days I tend to approach ALL women with an over-exxagerated mistrust based on any, seemingly, wild attributes.

So maybe my instincts are just manifestations of cowardice ?

Also a good point. It's a tough call, you'll get no definitive answer out of me, I'm way too wishy-washy. 😉 🙂

 

[yowolabi]

Please define "wild". I think you may need to do a little more introspection before you get in another relationship. That fact your previous girls were "wild" isn't what caused them to hurt you. Maybe what they had in common was something like dishonesty, the fact that they didn't care about guys or their feelings, the fact that they saw sex as a recreational activity devoid of any emotion? What exactly was it about these girls that drew you to them?

We often fall into routines and patterns that validate a way we feel about ourselves. Like a girl with low self esteem who "happens" to date real macho guys that want to control her and often end up beating her. Really thinking about what you want from girls, and what characteristics a girl needs in order to satisfy that can save you a lot of time and drama. Not being with anyone isn't really an option you're considering. If you wanted to be alone, you wouldn't be talking to girls and thinking about the future with someone you've known for less than a week.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: yowolabi
Please define "wild". I think you may need to do a little more introspection before you get in another relationship. That fact your previous girls were "wild" isn't what caused them to hurt you.

Apologies for using such a loose term. Many people out there would consider me to be a wild person, though I might disagree.

Maybe what they had in common was something like dishonesty, the fact that they didn't care about guys or their feelings, the fact that they saw sex as a recreational activity devoid of any emotion?

Dishonesty is definitley been a common thread in the previous realtionships I have spoken of. Unfortunately it is not an easy trait to pick up on in the early stages of a relationship. (at least not for me)

They certainly put little value into sex, other than as a "recreational activity".

A general air of obvious selfishness, and lack of consideration has been typical.

What exactly was it about these girls that drew you to them?

As a child of the internet , pr0n has had a large impact on my sexual identification. I think deep down I am most turned on by sexually aggressive women. The "wild" women in my past , and present, usually fit this mold.

I am not an extremely outgoing guy, and I find a lot of comfort in outgoing women who will approach me.

We often fall into routines and patterns that validate a way we feel about ourselves. Like a girl with low self esteem who "happens" to date real macho guys that want to control her and often end up beating her. Really thinking about what you want from girls, and what characteristics a girl needs in order to satisfy that can save you a lot of time and drama. Not being with anyone isn't really an option you're considering.

Maybe it should be ?

If you wanted to be alone, you wouldn't be talking to girls and thinking about the future with someone you've known for less than a week.

Im not thinking about aything but seeing her again. I am tyring to take this one step at a time.

 

[Soybomb]

You don't want to have more relationships with "wild" girls. You can obviously pick them out and are drawn to them. You already have identified her as the kind you need to watch out for. You might want to make yourself think she isn't but if you think she is, she probably is since you're good at picking them out. You will find the type of person you're drawn to, just like people who get abused find others to do it. If you're serious about not wanting another relationship like the others don't persue this one. If you do, you're still wanting the same type of relationship.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Soybomb
You don't want to have more relationships with "wild" girls. You can obviously pick them out and are drawn to them. You already have identified her as the kind you need to watch out for. You might want to make yourself think she isn't but if you think she is, she probably is since you're good at picking them out. You will find the type of person you're drawn to, just like people who get abused find others to do it. If you're serious about not wanting another relationship like the others don't persue this one. If you do, you're still wanting the same type of relationship.

yes yes...you are right. I just am so darn sick of 99% of the women I meet falling into this "wild" category. I am just so fuScking SICK OF IT !

BTW....she's really cute. (PICS coming VERY soon)

 

[polm]

UPDATE

Ok...so I just made the call.

Her friend answered and told me that MissBride'sMaid was going to be coming to her house in about an hour, and she would tell her that I called.

I did not ask about the 2 AM phone call, but I will if/when I talk to MissBride'sMaid.

 

[ILikeStuff]

Any more updates? Are you gettin laid right now?

 

[SpiderX]

I say call. Least you know you'll score for sure!

 

[EvilYoda]

Hmmmm, a long while later and no update, so things hopefully are going well...

Maybe she won't have to make a 2AM phone call today, unless it's from his phone. 🙂

 

[polm]

oh boy...where do I start.

So I left work yesterday, and I began to anticipate the return call as I drove home. I was mulling over the pros/cons of seeing MissBride'sMaid again, when all of a sudden the phone rings. I was so certain that it was her, that I didn't even look at the incoming call number, and I answered the phone : "Hey MissBride'sMaid" .

oops....it was my Ex GF .

So MissEx decides it has been too long since we talked last (a few months) and we needed to catch up. This ended up to really mean: I want to tell you about my new BF, and how great he is. Needless to say, when i finally managed to get off the phone, I was feeling a little....whats the word....anxious ?

So after I get off with MissEx, I get another call. This time it really is MissBride'sMaid. After the previous call, I was probably a little extra-excited about an opportunity to pursue some more "face to face" time with her. She invited me to come watch a movie ("Y Tu Mama Tambien") with her. I agreed.

I got to her house, and she had opened a bottle of Merlot.....

Now, let me say that I am NOT a big drinker. But I have a huge passion for red wine. I have been fortunate enough to be exposed to the world of wine long ago, and it is a true enjoyment in my life. So I agreed...even though it was a work night....and even though I had bad feelings about interacting "drunk" with this girl.....

We began to drink, and watch the movie (which BTW turned out to be VERY sexual) . And, of course, we began to get a little physical. I had to stop this before it went to far. I just wasn't sure I wanted to be this close with her...yet...so I broke for a little Q and A .

I asked about the 2:00 AM call. She confessed that she had called at 2:00 am the previous morning, because she had gone out for St. Patty's day and gotten hammered and when she came home she wanted me there.

We made small talk, drank, watched the movie, drank.....but I noticed she was SERIOUSLY out-pacing me on the vino consumption. In-fact, by the time the movie was over I would have to say she was drunk. In-fact, she confessed to being a little tipsy. So here is where things get kinda strange.

Now I have a good friend, who had eluded to a "run-in" with MissBride'sMaid at one of the local bars in town. He confessed that she had spent the night with his brother. He made minor mention of some drama that had taken place, but I didn't push for details. I decided to bring it up with MissBride'sMaid....she confessed that she had spent the night with the brother. Then goes on to say that she was still so drunk the next day, that she fooled around with the OTHER brother cuz she thought he was the original. Oh well...how was she to know, I mean on only has a FULL BEARD, where the other one has NO FACIAL HAIR ?????

oi vay....my "wild child" impression is really starting to build.

She continues to divulge some very illicit past practices, and I start to get a little un-nerved. She even divulged to me secrets that I was totally un-prepared for.

The next thing I know, MissBride'sMaid looks me dead in the eyes and sais "Will you be my boyfriend ? " . WHO ??? ME ??? SAY WHAT ???

I explain that this is moving too fast for me. She seems rejected, but not enough to kill her mood. I explain that I am leaving the country in August. She sais to me "That's Perfect .... I never have realtionships longer than 3 months anyway ! " . What a great selling point...I think to myself.

So I am officially kinda freaked out, but I write it off as drunken words, and I tell her we have to go to sleep...I have to be at work early. Needless to say, I was outta there pretty damn quickly this morning.

So thats my story. I am not sure what to make of all of this, but i am sure you all will have great ideas 🙂

 

[yowolabi]

Well that thing about 3 months would settle the question for me. If all you want is sex from her, and you think that would be safe for your health, and you can stop from getting emotionally involved, then she'd probably be up for it.

If I was in your place I'd tell her I "just want to be friends" and then extract myself from that situation. She doesn't seem like the kind of person anyone would want to be in a relationship with, nor does she seem like she's trying to become that type of person.


- One other thing, why are you suffering through "look how good I'm doing without you" conversations with your ex? Tell her you're busy and don't call her back. She'll get the message.

 

[DeafeningSilence]

At least she's being honest with you. If you want a "fling"-type relationship that lasts a couple of months, then go for it. If you don't want that, or can't handle it, then tell her so.

The thing is: you know how it's going to turn out ahead of time. So if you go for it, you lose the right to feel sorry for yourself when it's over. 🙂

 

[ILikeStuff]

yowsers... Run fast, run far. Don't touch her w/a 40 ft pole unless you want some valuable parts of your anatomy rotting off in the next few months

 

[DeafeningSilence]

Originally posted by: polm

She continues to divulge some very illicit past practices, and I start to get a little un-nerved. She even divulged to me secrets that I was totally un-prepared for.

Oh, I forgot about this part... want to share any stories? 🙂

 

[yobarman]

I don't get it man. What don't you understand about the word


FREE POONTANG.


She wants you bad. Stop being such an emotional bastard. Get your wild side(if you even have one) out of your system while you're young.
But if you're still gonna be a pansy about this, then move on... she's not the girl for you. She's wild and you're a dork who likes fat chicks. She knows she's bad at relationships but you're looking for something serious.... hit it and split, or Pass Go without collecting 200 dollars... its up to you.

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: polm
oh boy...where do I start.

So I left work yesterday, and I began to anticipate the return call as I drove home. I was mulling over the pros/cons of seeing MissBride'sMaid again, when all of a sudden the phone rings. I was so certain that it was her, that I didn't even look at the incoming call number, and I answered the phone : "Hey MissBride'sMaid" .

oops....it was my Ex GF .

So MissEx decides it has been too long since we talked last (a few months) and we needed to catch up. This ended up to really mean: I want to tell you about my new BF, and how great he is. Needless to say, when i finally managed to get off the phone, I was feeling a little....whats the word....anxious ?

So after I get off with MissEx, I get another call. This time it really is MissBride'sMaid. After the previous call, I was probably a little extra-excited about an opportunity to pursue some more "face to face" time with her. She invited me to come watch a movie ("Y Tu Mama Tambien") with her. I agreed.

I got to her house, and she had opened a bottle of Merlot.....

Now, let me say that I am NOT a big drinker. But I have a huge passion for red wine. I have been fortunate enough to be exposed to the world of wine long ago, and it is a true enjoyment in my life. So I agreed...even though it was a work night....and even though I had bad feelings about interacting "drunk" with this girl.....

We began to drink, and watch the movie (which BTW turned out to be VERY sexual) . And, of course, we began to get a little physical. I had to stop this before it went to far. I just wasn't sure I wanted to be this close with her...yet...so I broke for a little Q and A .

I asked about the 2:00 AM call. She confessed that she had called at 2:00 am the previous morning, because she had gone out for St. Patty's day and gotten hammered and when she came home she wanted me there.

We made small talk, drank, watched the movie, drank.....but I noticed she was SERIOUSLY out-pacing me on the vino consumption. In-fact, by the time the movie was over I would have to say she was drunk. In-fact, she confessed to being a little tipsy. So here is where things get kinda strange.

Now I have a good friend, who had eluded to a "run-in" with MissBride'sMaid at one of the local bars in town. He confessed that she had spent the night with his brother. He made minor mention of some drama that had taken place, but I didn't push for details. I decided to bring it up with MissBride'sMaid....she confessed that she had spent the night with the brother. Then goes on to say that she was still so drunk the next day, that she fooled around with the OTHER brother cuz she thought he was the original. Oh well...how was she to know, I mean on only has a FULL BEARD, where the other one has NO FACIAL HAIR ?????

oi vay....my "wild child" impression is really starting to build.

She continues to divulge some very illicit past practices, and I start to get a little un-nerved. She even divulged to me secrets that I was totally un-prepared for.

The next thing I know, MissBride'sMaid looks me dead in the eyes and sais "Will you be my boyfriend ? " . WHO ??? ME ??? SAY WHAT ???

I explain that this is moving too fast for me. She seems rejected, but not enough to kill her mood. I explain that I am leaving the country in August. She sais to me "That's Perfect .... I never have realtionships longer than 3 months anyway ! " . What a great selling point...I think to myself.

So I am officially kinda freaked out, but I write it off as drunken words, and I tell her we have to go to sleep...I have to be at work early. Needless to say, I was outta there pretty damn quickly this morning.

So thats my story. I am not sure what to make of all of this, but i am sure you all will have great ideas 🙂

BS without pics. nobody gets hammered from a bottle of merlot!

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: DeafeningSilence

Originally posted by: polm

She continues to divulge some very illicit past practices, and I start to get a little un-nerved. She even divulged to me secrets that I was totally un-prepared for.

Oh, I forgot about this part... want to share any stories? 🙂

I haven't decided if I am going to share...but let me tell you this: It will probably have a huge effect on how you, or anyone, would approach the situation.

If I expect an educated responce from any of my fellow ATOTers, then I need to share this with you.

Unfortunately it is VERY VERY personal, and I am having some moral conflicts.