UPDATE on my cheating gf!

[LuckyTaxi]

I couldnt wait until today to confront her, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to catch her in the act. So, I said enough is enough
so before I left her house yesterday evening, I confronted her. Time after time she lied. Each time I asked her a question, I kept saying "If you confess and tell me everything, maybe I would be willing to forgive you and work things out." However, she insist they were just friends. Each time she didn't wanna divulge anything further, I attempted to walk out the door and she kept closing it. She finally started revealing what I knew and wanted to hear after I said it was over and she started throwing stuff around the room.

She finally broke down and cried and thats when I went to comfort her. She told me she felt so bad and that she didn't want to lose me. She told me she loved me and it was a mistake. They only made out once and that he made the first move. She said the ONLY reason she hung out with him was because he listened to her. Without writing every detail, we both talked over the phone late last night and we're going to try to work things out. There are some things she wants from me that I'm sure I can work on. I told her the same, so hopefully things will get better.

I also told her she has to stop talking to him. What bothered me was another friend of her told me the guy was just looking to score (I wasn't surprised). My gf heard about this and thats when she stopped talking to him on a daily basis. The past week she hasn't talked to him that much. They were in constant contact 2-3 weeks ago.

Anyways, thanks so much for the support you guys gave me. Now it may not be the right choice and it seemed everyone told me to dump her, I figure she made a mistake and she deserves another chance. Also, regarding the little stuff about her that I hate, well I told her about it and she's willing to work on that also. I truly believe things will only get better. We never had a chance to talk, but this fight opened up new channels of communication.

 

[guyver01]

Well... as long as YOU are happy with how the situation turned out.... that's all that really matters, doesn't it?

 

[ndee]

I also got played and I'm tellin' ya, it will NEVER be the same again. Dump her, still my advice. If she cheats once, she will cheat again. Been there, trust me.

 

[GMachine]

Stick it in her p00per!!!

 

[Pacfanweb]

<<Now it may not be the right choice and it seemed everyone told me to dump her, I figure she made a mistake and she deserves another chance.>>

And you're young enough to have plenty of time to recover if/when this turns out to be a mistake on your part.

Seriously, I wish you good luck. I'd bet my last dollar that it isn't going to work, but you have to learn about these things the hard way, and heck, you never know, maybe it will work.

You can judge by the responses in the other thread what hard lessons most folks have learned.

 

[RegaPlanet]

I'll back ya on your decision. Tough one to make and in the 'ideal' world it's not thought of as the right one but I think from what I've read it's a good risk to take. Gonna be tough to deal with for awhile tho since the trust is kinda messed. Anyway, I'd keep a tight string on her and explain to her it's only fair to do so after such an act for awhile. I'd also go beat the life outta the guy that was messin with your gf. If they talked for 2-3wks he for sure knew she was with you.

EDIT: I was cheated on for the first time 6 months ago altho the whole situation was a alot more messed up and whatnot. I wanted to just forget it happened and still be with her but I couldn't let myself do that. Still tried to even be friends and that was difficult(it's a long psycho type story). Anyway, like everyone is saying. It's tough to make it workout and yer just setting yourself up but sometimes it is worth the risk.

 

[ndee]

"You can forgive, but you can never forget."

 

[RGN]

Originally posted by: GMachine
Stick it in her p00per!!!

you are an insensitive little bastard aren't you.

lilcam: Best of luck, go with your feelings here. You know her and yourself the best. I commend you for trying to work it out. That is a very mature thing to do. It is a shame that other people are so quick to walk away.

R

 

[Goosemaster]

good luck man,


but remember, there is nothings sadder than a man who constantly forgives his partner when they cheat..unless they are married in which case they have to try to work it out before divorce.



Obviously, it seems as if you might have something special with this lady so continue but be forewarned, if she does it again...DO NOT FORGIVE HER AGAIN.
You do not want to be that "dumbass who always takes her back"

Trust, love , respect, and your relationship as a whole are out the door when that happens, not to mention twice.

 

[RGN]

Originally posted by: ndee
"You can forgive, but you can never forget."

Forgivness includes ignoring the past. If you truly forgive, than the situation is over.

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: RGN

Originally posted by: GMachine
Stick it in her p00per!!!

you are an insensitive little bastard aren't you.

lilcam: Best of luck, go with your feelings here. You know her and yourself the best. I commend you for trying to work it out. That is a very mature thing to do. It is a shame that other people are so quick to walk away.

R

If you never got played, you can't really judge the situation.

 

[Gibson486]

well, you broke the comunication barrier, but at the same time, she broke down yoru trust. Once those two things are built together, there will be a good chance that it will work out. However, rememeber, there are no promises.

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: RGN

Originally posted by: ndee
"You can forgive, but you can never forget."

Forgivness includes ignoring the past. If you truly forgive, than the situation is over.

Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't forgive, if a woman would play me again.

 

[RGN]

played? yeah, I got "played"... fvcked over was more like it...

 

[GMachine]

Originally posted by: RGN

Originally posted by: GMachine
Stick it in her p00per!!!

you are an insensitive little bastard aren't you.

lilcam: Best of luck, go with your feelings here. You know her and yourself the best. I commend you for trying to work it out. That is a very mature thing to do. It is a shame that other people are so quick to walk away.

R

Nothing like a nerd to pass judgement. I'm sticking to my p00per suggestion.

 

[ndee]

I mean cheated, don't know if it's the same cuz English isn't ma "first" language

 

[LuckyTaxi]

I told her I am going to check up on her. It seems to me she wants me to be controlling to a certain extent. Everytime she goes out, I just tell her ok and go have fun. She tells me I never ask her where shes going and with whom. I told her i am not that type of person. she can do what she wants and I do what I want, but at the same time we know in the back of our minds that we are together. she told me everytime shes with him and she comes home, she feels guilty. thats when she looks at the ring I bought her and she knows she has something special.

by now, her friends will say something to her and she won't be doing this again. because i now know and her friends now know she has been busted, it will be tough for her to do anything behind our backs.

 

[pulse8]

What bothered me was another friend of her told me the guy was just looking to score (I wasn't surprised).

Why didn't her friend tell her this? I would think if she's a good friend, she'd let her in on that information.

Anyway, good luck.

 

[jjones]

I wonder what the odds are that in about 6 months we'll see another thread "My GF cheated on me again" from lilcam?

 

[ndee]

Originally posted by: jjones
I wonder what the odds are that in about 6 months we'll see another thread "My GF cheated on me again" from lilcam?

1:1

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: RGN

Originally posted by: ndee "You can forgive, but you can never forget."

Forgivness includes ignoring the past. If you truly forgive, than the situation is over.

Sorry, bud, but you're wrong on this one. Forgiving her would be not holding it against her and bringing it up out of spite, etc. You can forgive people, but it's IMPORTANT to remember the past to see what mistakes you've made. A situation like this would be a pretty big reminder not to take the chance or put herself in a situation where it might happen again - since she obviously can't control herself. It's important to forgive her. But it's also important to remember this and let your relationship mend around it, strengthening the bond between the two. Ever heard couples talk about how they've been through so much and how each one has been there for the other? That's not forgetting... that's bonding.

nik

 

[Gibson486]

I told her I am going to check up on her. It seems to me she wants me to be controlling to a certain extent.

It took me a year and 3 months to find that out with my g/f. Most girls like to have a guy that is controlling to some extent because it gives them a sense of security and makes them feel more "safe". Before I dated my girl, I always thought the oppisite...it just shows how ignorant us guys are

 

[bonk102]

sounds like things are clearing up, good luck with the situation and i hope things stay at a good place for you and the relationship

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: Gibson486

I told her I am going to check up on her. It seems to me she wants me to be controlling to a certain extent.

It took me a year and 3 months to find that out with my g/f. Most girls like to have a guy that is controlling to some extent because it gives them a sense of security and makes them feel more "safe". Before I dated my girl, I always thought the oppisite...it just shows how ignorant us guys are

I get in deep sh!t when it seems like I'm checking up on mine. Instead of let it eat at me, I made the mistake of asking a few questions and I got my sh!t chewed. Some girls don't like being "checked up on" because it seems like you don't trust them. Her, I trust. The other guy, I don't :| I've learned that it's better to let things eat away at me until she brings it up than bring it up and make myself feel better when she tells me that nothing happened. :frown:

nik

 

[Vadatajs]

Originally posted by: lilcam
I couldnt wait until today to confront her, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to catch her in the act. So, I said enough is enough
so before I left her house yesterday evening, I confronted her. Time after time she lied. Each time I asked her a question, I kept saying "If you confess and tell me everything, maybe I would be willing to forgive you and work things out." However, she insist they were just friends. Each time she didn't wanna divulge anything further, I attempted to walk out the door and she kept closing it. She finally started revealing what I knew and wanted to hear after I said it was over and she started throwing stuff around the room.

She finally broke down and cried and thats when I went to comfort her. She told me she felt so bad and that she didn't want to lose me. She told me she loved me and it was a mistake. They only made out once and that he made the first move. She said the ONLY reason she hung out with him was because he listened to her. Without writing every detail, we both talked over the phone late last night and we're going to try to work things out. There are some things she wants from me that I'm sure I can work on. I told her the same, so hopefully things will get better.

I also told her she has to stop talking to him. What bothered me was another friend of her told me the guy was just looking to score (I wasn't surprised). My gf heard about this and thats when she stopped talking to him on a daily basis. The past week she hasn't talked to him that much. They were in constant contact 2-3 weeks ago.

Anyways, thanks so much for the support you guys gave me. Now it may not be the right choice and it seemed everyone told me to dump her, I figure she made a mistake and she deserves another chance. Also, regarding the little stuff about her that I hate, well I told her about it and she's willing to work on that also. I truly believe things will only get better. We never had a chance to talk, but this fight opened up new channels of communication.

BAAAAD idea, dump her and find somebody else. How do you know she won't do it again. It's better to ditch her.