*UPDATE* Argument with the gf - Am I coldhearted?

[Kalpana]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Your g/friend's family isn't helping "the loser" they're helping the girl and most importantly the baby.
It is very common to not really need to buy anything after the birth of your 1st child because you get so much stuff,using family handme downs on expensive items like cribs is also common and makes sense on a lot of levels.The family might not like the situation any better than you do but what's done is done and there's now an innocent child to be concerned about.Shunning the girl does no good and puts the infant at risk.

You have been asked to help by giving a total of 2 rides,yet you're going on and on as if you've been asked to do something huge or on an ongoing basis.I say look upon it as a favor to your g/friend and if you can't bring yourself to give the guy a ride as a favor to her just say no.

Hmm...I don't think that is the point. I think the point is that this "loser" and his 16 yr old "wife" decided and tried to have a baby when they knew for sure that they did not have any money coming in. it wasn't as if she was accidentally knocked up and now she needs help. The went out of their way for her TO GET PREGNANT.

Lilcam, you seem reasonable and sane. I agree one should have a baby when they know they can support the baby. There are too many babies out there without the proper life because their parents are irresponsible. No baby deserves that. What these "kids" did was insane..they are obviously not responsible enough. I hope your girlfriend is different from the rest of her family or the family that you have painted here. Otherwise it might be a good idea to stick around. I am not saying that she is or is not like them. But do you really want to be with someone like that?

 

[pillage2001]

Originally posted by: lilcam
oh ... i'm really starting to rethink this relationship. even my mom is mad and tells me i deserve better. why i still stay with her i dont know.

Asian traditions are all fvcked up if you ask me. I'm sorry if I offend the other asian ppl on this board. I'm not saying all asian, but I've seen enough especially dealing with this personally and seeing my cousins going through the same sh!t before. They got married a little over a year ago after they thought she was pregnant. I think she had a miscarriage or something. So, then I heard these two were trying to get pregnant -----WTF???:Q but couldnt because he kept smoking that herb or whatever he was on. Now she actually got pregnant and they'll be messed up cuz I know damn well the girl's mother will be taking care of that kid. The 16 y/o doesnt know any better.

The guy stated awhile back that his kid would be getting a free ride from welfare. Thats cool and all if you really need it, but to abuse it and not work because you get "free" money aint coo. <---WTF?? :Q

and what's messed up is her mom keeps saying we make lots of money and we should contribute some to her monthly <---Biggest WTF :Q . this woman is in her mid 30s and needs to freakign work!!! my mom is in her 40s and she's working like every other folks! why should she be any different. I can't imagine what it would be like if we were rich.

The last bolded statement is way out of hand. Who the fvck is her mother to ask you to contribute to her since you're making money?? Dude, you're in for a lot of trouble if you even think of marrying your current Gf now. Both you and her will be obligated to give a certain amount till she's in her grave.

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Rage187
^ wow Ameesh good guess.

holy sh!t i was stereotyping! no offense intended lilcam, i realize not all cambodians are the same.



i still say dump her.

np ... my mom is funny ... she sees this situation play itself out in many cambodian families. she's a counselor at a local school so she knows many cambodians. she told me "cambodian families are dumb. they marry their kids off at a young age, neglecting to push them towards high education. chinese ppl are better. they teach their kids good values and work hard for their money."

obviously it's not all cambodians, but enough to make me wonder. no wonder i hardly have any asian friends!

i think youre cool! dont worry about other asians

you should tell your GF's mom that you are the reincarnation of pol pot and maybe she will force your GF to break up with you. then problem is solved.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Originally posted by: DaWhim
having baby at the age of 16 yo is not a friiking asian tradition :Q

ok ... i take that back ... it's a tradition to marry your kids off to the loser who knocks your 16 y/o daughter up. even if you hate the guy. personally i would say bye bye to the kid and let the daughter worry about the kid.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Rage187
^ wow Ameesh good guess.

holy sh!t i was stereotyping! no offense intended lilcam, i realize not all cambodians are the same.



i still say dump her.

np ... my mom is funny ... she sees this situation play itself out in many cambodian families. she's a counselor at a local school so she knows many cambodians. she told me "cambodian families are dumb. they marry their kids off at a young age, neglecting to push them towards high education. chinese ppl are better. they teach their kids good values and work hard for their money."

obviously it's not all cambodians, but enough to make me wonder. no wonder i hardly have any asian friends!

i think youre cool! dont worry about other asians

you should tell your GF's mom that you are the reincarnation of pol pot and maybe she will force your GF to break up with you. then problem is solved.

lol ... they need to go back to cambodia

 

[Pepsei]

Check your hand, you still have two middle fingers right? Make frequent use of it.

 

[T2T III]

You're not being cold-hearted at all. If this activity keeps on going, you'll be nothing more than a doormat for them.

 

[Yax]

BTW, how old is your GF? She wouldn't be underaged too would she? Just askin.

Anyway, forget bout her dude. Get out. You've got potential, don't waste your time on them. If she wants you she'd follow.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Originally posted by: cheapbidder01
BTW, how old is your GF? She wouldn't be underaged too would she? Just askin.

Anyway, forget bout her dude. Get out. You've got potential, don't waste your time on them. If she wants you she'd follow.

shes' 21 ... im working on getting us out of here. must get rich

 

[Ameesh]

why do you have to take care of her, cant she take care of herself financially?

 

[yllus]

Your instinct is dead-on. If you oblige them now, you'll be expected to oblige them forever. That is a veritable law of human nature.

You may seriously consider getting the hell away from this family in general; it'll drag you down sooner or later.

 

[bootymac]

Run

 

[MystikMango]

Originally posted by: SackOfAllTrades
methinks for better answers you should have omitted the ages.

But what do I know? I see someone that would rather post here and judge someone that is in the hospital rather than just helping them out.

It's not like this was an accident... they had 9 months to see this coming. This isn't like picking up a puppy at teh pet shop. There is no reason you can't be prepared for a new baby, regardless of age.

Cambodian... is the GF and sister first generation here? I don't know very many Cambodians, but I am assuming Cambodians feel the same as other Asians with regard to the "close-knit family" stuff. I think it's a cultural thing that needs to be addressed.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: digitalsm

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Your g/friend's family isn't helping "the loser" they're helping the girl and most importantly the baby.
It is very common to not really need to buy anything after the birth of your 1st child because you get so much stuff,using family handme downs on expensive items like cribs is also common and makes sense on a lot of levels.

You have been asked to help by giving a total of 2 rides,yet you're going on and on as if you've been asked to do something huge.I say look upon it as a favor to your g/friend and if you can't bring yourself to give the guy a ride as a favor to her just say no.

If two dumbass kids 16 and 20 plan to have a baby, they full well should atleast have one income.

That's not the point here.His g/friend has requested that he give somebody a ride not that he fiscally back them for life.

it starts with the rides. next thing you know, they'll want clothes and formula. can you imagine if i had a kid and my kid was there for a day or so. my poor baby would have to share his formula with their kid! come on now!

she already asked me for some of my clothes cuz she couldn't fit her clothes when she was pregnant. how ridiculous is that? i take care of my gf so why can't he take care of his wife?!

It starts and ends where you decide that it does.Having boundaries and setting limits on what you will/will not do for others is healthy.Going off on a rant because you've been asked to give a total of two rides is not.

Has it ever occured to you that this girl's family might not like this situation but that they are doing what they can to help because of the baby and because the girl herself is young enough that she might mature and show better sense in the future?

 

[MrDudeMan]

geekbabe has a point, but this is way too FUBAR

seriously, i hate it when people get handouts. i havent spoken to my mom in over a month and she lives 1 mile away. she gives my sisters handouts that they dont deserve. i told her why i hate it in a calm way, she didnt think it was logical, so i said "screw you, dont talk to me" and thats it. people that beg and whine when they could get it themselves piss me off like no ones business.

good luck with your crapass g/f and family

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: digitalsm

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Your g/friend's family isn't helping "the loser" they're helping the girl and most importantly the baby.
It is very common to not really need to buy anything after the birth of your 1st child because you get so much stuff,using family handme downs on expensive items like cribs is also common and makes sense on a lot of levels.

You have been asked to help by giving a total of 2 rides,yet you're going on and on as if you've been asked to do something huge.I say look upon it as a favor to your g/friend and if you can't bring yourself to give the guy a ride as a favor to her just say no.

If two dumbass kids 16 and 20 plan to have a baby, they full well should atleast have one income.

That's not the point here.His g/friend has requested that he give somebody a ride not that he fiscally back them for life.

it starts with the rides. next thing you know, they'll want clothes and formula. can you imagine if i had a kid and my kid was there for a day or so. my poor baby would have to share his formula with their kid! come on now!

she already asked me for some of my clothes cuz she couldn't fit her clothes when she was pregnant. how ridiculous is that? i take care of my gf so why can't he take care of his wife?!

It starts and ends where you decide that it does.Having boundaries and setting limits on what you will/will not do for others is healthy.Going off on a rant because you've been asked to give a total of two rides is not.

Has it ever occured to you that this girl's family might not like this situation but that they are doing what they can to help because of the baby and because the girl herself is young enough that she might mature and show better sense in the future?

if they had any brains or cared about her at all they wouldnt have let it happen in the first place.

 

[hg321]

and what's messed up is her mom keeps saying we make lots of money and we should contribute some to her monthly <---Biggest WTF . this woman is in her mid 30s and needs to freakign work!!! my mom is in her 40s and she's working like every other folks! why should she be any different. I can't imagine what it would be like if we were rich
____________________________________________________________________________________________
If your gf does not disagree with the above statement GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: digitalsm

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Your g/friend's family isn't helping "the loser" they're helping the girl and most importantly the baby.
It is very common to not really need to buy anything after the birth of your 1st child because you get so much stuff,using family handme downs on expensive items like cribs is also common and makes sense on a lot of levels.

You have been asked to help by giving a total of 2 rides,yet you're going on and on as if you've been asked to do something huge.I say look upon it as a favor to your g/friend and if you can't bring yourself to give the guy a ride as a favor to her just say no.

If two dumbass kids 16 and 20 plan to have a baby, they full well should atleast have one income.

That's not the point here.His g/friend has requested that he give somebody a ride not that he fiscally back them for life.

it starts with the rides. next thing you know, they'll want clothes and formula. can you imagine if i had a kid and my kid was there for a day or so. my poor baby would have to share his formula with their kid! come on now!

she already asked me for some of my clothes cuz she couldn't fit her clothes when she was pregnant. how ridiculous is that? i take care of my gf so why can't he take care of his wife?!

It starts and ends where you decide that it does.Having boundaries and setting limits on what you will/will not do for others is healthy.Going off on a rant because you've been asked to give a total of two rides is not.

Has it ever occured to you that this girl's family might not like this situation but that they are doing what they can to help because of the baby and because the girl herself is young enough that she might mature and show better sense in the future?

if they had any brains or cared about her at all they wouldnt have let it happen in the first place.

How many children have you reared to adulthood?

What should happen and what does happen is very often two different things.Short of chaining her up (which will only get the parents jailed)there aren't a lot of legal options for parents of teenagers to control immoral behaviors.One can only hope that uf the girl was innoculated with any sort of value system as a young child,that as she matures good sense will return.

As a mother I can tell you that one doesn't simply write off a 16 yr old and throw them to the wolves for being stupid easily.

 

[JustAnAverageGuy]

run. far away. fast

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

if her parent's cared she could have gotten an abortion

Chances are, they have known each other since she was 14 or 15 and they let the hormones take over. That guy should be taking care of his wife. The wife won't have a very high education so where is the money for the family going to come from? If that guy was smart, he would have realized that he shouldn't have a child with a 16 year old that soon.

Anyway, I think this is more of a moral issue and the females, not to be sexist, will side with her because she must be going through a tough time, but because she knew it was coming and so did he, it was their choice.

Personally, I would break the relationship. I'll match Ameesh's two beers and give them to you when I turn 21 if you leave now. I think you're only in for more work for her after this. Have the parents talked to her yet about her situation or are they acting all happy?

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: hg321
and what's messed up is her mom keeps saying we make lots of money and we should contribute some to her monthly <---Biggest WTF . this woman is in her mid 30s and needs to freakign work!!! my mom is in her 40s and she's working like every other folks! why should she be any different. I can't imagine what it would be like if we were rich
____________________________________________________________________________________________
If your gf does not disagree with the above statement GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mid 30's?!?!?!?! So the grandmother is somewhere about 34 or 35 years old? Holy crap, they could easily to great great grandmother's here! :Q

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: lilcam

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: digitalsm

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Your g/friend's family isn't helping "the loser" they're helping the girl and most importantly the baby.
It is very common to not really need to buy anything after the birth of your 1st child because you get so much stuff,using family handme downs on expensive items like cribs is also common and makes sense on a lot of levels.

You have been asked to help by giving a total of 2 rides,yet you're going on and on as if you've been asked to do something huge.I say look upon it as a favor to your g/friend and if you can't bring yourself to give the guy a ride as a favor to her just say no.

If two dumbass kids 16 and 20 plan to have a baby, they full well should atleast have one income.

That's not the point here.His g/friend has requested that he give somebody a ride not that he fiscally back them for life.

it starts with the rides. next thing you know, they'll want clothes and formula. can you imagine if i had a kid and my kid was there for a day or so. my poor baby would have to share his formula with their kid! come on now!

she already asked me for some of my clothes cuz she couldn't fit her clothes when she was pregnant. how ridiculous is that? i take care of my gf so why can't he take care of his wife?!

It starts and ends where you decide that it does.Having boundaries and setting limits on what you will/will not do for others is healthy.Going off on a rant because you've been asked to give a total of two rides is not.

Has it ever occured to you that this girl's family might not like this situation but that they are doing what they can to help because of the baby and because the girl herself is young enough that she might mature and show better sense in the future?

if they had any brains or cared about her at all they wouldnt have let it happen in the first place.

How many children have you reared to adulthood?

What should happen and what does happen is very often two different things.Short of chaining her up (which will only get the parents jailed)there aren't a lot of legal options for parents of teenagers to control immoral behaviors.One can only hope that uf the girl was innoculated with any sort of value system as a young child,that as she matures good sense will return.

As a mother I can tell you that one doesn't simply write off a 16 yr old and throw them to the wolves for being stupid easily.

i don't need to have children to know that when i am a dad i will not let my 16 year old daughter ,date, fvck, marry, and get prego with a 20 year old piece of $hit. they obviously didn't raise here to think about the consequences of her actions nor are they smart enough to make the decisions for her. at 16 she is still a minor and her parents have some control over her. and i seriously doubt they started seeing eachother and got married and pregnant all when she was 16, i bet they were dating before that which makes me think that she is a slut, her parents are retards , and you are defending them for god knows what reasons.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: Ameesh
i don't need to have children to know that when i am a dad i will not let my 16 year old daughter ,date, fvck, marry, and get prego with a 20 year old piece of $hit. they obviously didn't raise here to think about the consequences of her actions nor are they smart enough to make the decisions for her. at 16 she is still a minor and her parents have some control over her. and i seriously doubt they started seeing eachother and got married and pregnant all when she was 16, i bet they were dating before that which makes me think that she is a slut, her parents are retards , and you are defending them for god knows what reasons.

haha that post pwns me. seriously though, very good points. i dont have to be a parent either to know that i wouldnt support my kid for making such a stupid decision. i dont care if everyone here thinks i am a jerk for saying that, but ill be a jerk that doesnt have to take care of a kid who screwed a mentally retarded normal guy that wont support himself. criticism or kid with a kid? very hard choice.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan

Originally posted by: Ameesh
i don't need to have children to know that when i am a dad i will not let my 16 year old daughter ,date, fvck, marry, and get prego with a 20 year old piece of $hit. they obviously didn't raise here to think about the consequences of her actions nor are they smart enough to make the decisions for her. at 16 she is still a minor and her parents have some control over her. and i seriously doubt they started seeing eachother and got married and pregnant all when she was 16, i bet they were dating before that which makes me think that she is a slut, her parents are retards , and you are defending them for god knows what reasons.

haha that post pwns me. seriously though, very good points. i dont have to be a parent either to know that i wouldnt support my kid for making such a stupid decision. i dont care if everyone here thinks i am a jerk for saying that, but ill be a jerk that doesnt have to take care of a kid who screwed a mentally retarded normal guy that wont support himself. criticism or kid with a kid? very hard choice.

You aren't a jerk, you're just saying the truth even though it may hurt to.

 

[yllus]

Originally posted by: lilcam
and what's messed up is her mom keeps saying we make lots of money and we should contribute some to her monthly. this woman is in her mid 30s and needs to freakign work!!! my mom is in her 40s and she's working like every other folks! why should she be any different. I can't imagine what it would be like if we were rich.

Ok, I just read that and it seals the deal. GET OUT NOW!!