Agreed. As long as you allow him to have his way, he always will. You should kick the crap out of him once. Put some fear in him. Then, make him get some help.
-sp
That's a tough situation. I hope your parents will make him move out because I seriously doubt that he will do it on his own or even be receptive to them just trying to persuade him to.
Good luck!
Good luck!
drinkmorejava
Diamond Member
- Jun 24, 2004
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Powermoloch
Lifer
- Jul 5, 2005
- 10,084
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winr
Diamond Member
- Feb 17, 2001
- 6,081
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Try to look at your Brother as he really is.
Imagine he is a stranger you read about in the paper abusing others.
How would you feel?
Your brother is a bully.
You and your Family taking crap from him will only make him worse.
He needs to be taken down a notch or two.
You would most likely punch a stranger out for abusing your mom or yourself.
I felt the same way as you when I was younger, I can sympathize with how you feel.
Disipline and respect start at home, it is too late when strangers or the cops get involved.
Best wishes to you and your family and also your brother.
Hang tough :sun:
Imagine he is a stranger you read about in the paper abusing others.
How would you feel?
Your brother is a bully.
You and your Family taking crap from him will only make him worse.
He needs to be taken down a notch or two.
You would most likely punch a stranger out for abusing your mom or yourself.
I felt the same way as you when I was younger, I can sympathize with how you feel.
Disipline and respect start at home, it is too late when strangers or the cops get involved.
Best wishes to you and your family and also your brother.
Hang tough :sun:
You guys telling him to hit his brother are idiots. his brother will end up taking it out on someone else. Thats what abusive people do: pick fights with people that can't win. He needs help or jail time. Moving out will not help at all.
People like him just don't magically learn to control their piss poor tempers. It doesn't happen like that. Let it slide this time because you are a wimp and next time it might not be you that he hits. It might be some stranger, who does press charges and does get him thrown in prison. Then what? Give him a fair warning. Tell him next time he hits you, there will be cops.
But truthfully speaking, what he needs is to have his ass kicked. So what if he's bigger than you. A nice block of wood still hurts like hell when it smacks you across the face.
My brother learned his lesson when he started picking on me... I shoved him down, grabbed a kitchen knife and told him and started moving towards him. I had NO intention of using it, but he doesn't know that I wouldn't.
Give him a reason to not make you angry.
oh bullsh!t dude, you cant hit your brother, who has slapped you and your mother around for years, and you are unable to stand up to him. At least admit that, and dont hide behind the "he is family excuse"
I agree, dont send him to jail, he is family
I can see now that you are smaller than him and afraid of him, i understand because you have been afraid of him for years.... but you have to stand up for yourself, he punched you in the face, he crossed a line
no joke... forget that he hit you, if he was doing any hitting of your mother, but you and your dad need to tag team him and beat the living ****** out of him
You gotta stand up for yourself, I used to get bashed on my school bus almost everyday, but I started standing up for myself and accidentally broke one guys nose one day, since then I could listen to my music in peace.
Although he's your bro, shouldn't stop you from not defending you and and especially your mom, also sounds like he seriously needs some psychological help.
Although he's your bro, shouldn't stop you from not defending you and and especially your mom, also sounds like he seriously needs some psychological help.
Shens. OP is trying to do another spider.
either that or the OP seems to have been born without a pair of danglers else he'd have kicked his brother's ass once and for all.
either that or the OP seems to have been born without a pair of danglers else he'd have kicked his brother's ass once and for all.
LoKe, I've had to deal with family violence, although admittedly it wasn't nearly so bad as yours.
A while back, I was just 18, and my father got really, really drunk at a party one night. So drunk he was driven home and literally had to be carried into the house because he couldn't stand up. My mother and brother were out of town, and we didn't know any of our neighbors. After a few hours, he sobered up enough to really, really, want to go back to his party. Now, we had one car there, so I had confiscated and hidden all his keys; he couldn't go anywhere, but I didn't want him to go outside, because he could have been hurt or could have hurt someone else. He started getting belligerent, pushing me and pulling me, and trying to get me out of the way. Eventually, he slapped me. I told him if he did it again, I'd call the cops. He did it again.
I stuck to my word.
It hurt, it hurt bad to have to call the police to arrest my own father because he was being a drunk asshole. He'd never been that drunk in his life, and after a night in the drunk tank and the DV charges (I didn't want to press, but VA is a must-press state for DV charges) he's never been that drunk again. To this day I still wonder if I made the right decision; he had to have anger management and see a therapist, I know he couldn't have hurt me, it damaged his record, but it was 4 AM and I'd been awake since 6 the previous day and crashing and he was full of energy and getting violent.
I guess I'm kind of rambling but my point is: no matter how much it hurts, sometimes you have to set them straight. Beating him is not a solution because you could cause damage, no matter how careful you are. Hoping he stops is not a solution, because it won't. Appeasement is not a solution.
If it ever gets to the point where you are in danger, you may have to call the police on him. Sometimes all it takes is one night in jail and dropped DV charges and they straighten out.
A while back, I was just 18, and my father got really, really drunk at a party one night. So drunk he was driven home and literally had to be carried into the house because he couldn't stand up. My mother and brother were out of town, and we didn't know any of our neighbors. After a few hours, he sobered up enough to really, really, want to go back to his party. Now, we had one car there, so I had confiscated and hidden all his keys; he couldn't go anywhere, but I didn't want him to go outside, because he could have been hurt or could have hurt someone else. He started getting belligerent, pushing me and pulling me, and trying to get me out of the way. Eventually, he slapped me. I told him if he did it again, I'd call the cops. He did it again.
I stuck to my word.
It hurt, it hurt bad to have to call the police to arrest my own father because he was being a drunk asshole. He'd never been that drunk in his life, and after a night in the drunk tank and the DV charges (I didn't want to press, but VA is a must-press state for DV charges) he's never been that drunk again. To this day I still wonder if I made the right decision; he had to have anger management and see a therapist, I know he couldn't have hurt me, it damaged his record, but it was 4 AM and I'd been awake since 6 the previous day and crashing and he was full of energy and getting violent.
I guess I'm kind of rambling but my point is: no matter how much it hurts, sometimes you have to set them straight. Beating him is not a solution because you could cause damage, no matter how careful you are. Hoping he stops is not a solution, because it won't. Appeasement is not a solution.
If it ever gets to the point where you are in danger, you may have to call the police on him. Sometimes all it takes is one night in jail and dropped DV charges and they straighten out.
sourceninja
Diamond Member
- Mar 8, 2005
- 8,805
- 65
- 91
Learn BJJ and armbar for the win!..
Seriously though, I'd call the cops. You have to be tougher on family then you are on strangers.
Seriously though, I'd call the cops. You have to be tougher on family then you are on strangers.
Abel007
Platinum Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 2,169
- 0
- 76
Loke, stop changing your pic! I didn't even realize it was you until someone said "Loke,..."
My brother used to do the same thing to my mom and I. I couldn't call the cops on him either and my dad lived elsewhere in the country. Unfortunately it was a drug abuse problem, perhaps its the same for your brother? My mom finaly told him to move out and its the same for your brother I'm afraid. He has to leave and grow up. Violence isn't the problem solving skill it once was in the stone age. People need to talk about their problems not duke it out.
My brother used to do the same thing to my mom and I. I couldn't call the cops on him either and my dad lived elsewhere in the country. Unfortunately it was a drug abuse problem, perhaps its the same for your brother? My mom finaly told him to move out and its the same for your brother I'm afraid. He has to leave and grow up. Violence isn't the problem solving skill it once was in the stone age. People need to talk about their problems not duke it out.
Your passive approach hasn't worked in 19 years. Why will it start working now.
Your brother is going to keep hitting people until he learns not to. The longer you let him do this without learning, the harder it will be for him to change and the more likely he is going to hit the wrong person.
If he hits the wrong person, the best that can happen is that he is thrown in jail. The worst is that he really hurts or kills the other person or they hurt or kill him.
He will keep escalating until he steps over the line. Put it in perspective, he hit you multiple times over a DVD.
Your family thinks they are helping him, by not calling the police. It is the opposite, you are enabling him to hit people by not forcing him to face the consequences.
Well obviously, your father does NOT do "all that he legally can". You said your brother is 19-20, so why don't they just kick him the fvck out? You guys have taught him that he can take advantage and push you all around, parents included, and there will be no consequences. Instead, you should be teaching him that if he chooses to act like an ape, you will not tolerate his presence. So step one, have your parents kick him out of the house and let him fend for himself. Thats the best thing you guys can do for all concerned.
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