"Touch Base"

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trmiv

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
14,670
18
81
Originally posted by: TheAdvocate
... and how about military jargon invading the workplace?

It was bad enough to hear news agencies discussing ad nauseum how they had people "on the ground", in Iraq.

For the last 3 months, our bi-weekly Dilbert meetings have involved our boss discussing how we have people "on the ground in core territories to handoff deliverables and effectuate strategic planning action items".

The fact that I haven't gone postal yet has me questioning my sanity.

I'm guilty of that at work. Just the other day I told a friend at work that I had just completed a Shock and Awe campaign in the first floor bathroom.
 

JRich

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2005
2,714
1
71
Dude! I'm sitting here in my cube and I just heard someone say, "touch base." It's like they know.

 

KB

Diamond Member
Nov 8, 1999
5,406
389
126
Touch Base is not as bad as "lets take that offline". Let me take your face offline!
 

HammerCurl

Senior member
Apr 3, 2007
651
0
0
I have a manager that says "Don't spin your wheels" all the time. He actually uses his index fingers to roll over eachother.
 

AlucardX

Senior member
May 20, 2000
647
0
76
we really gotta wrap our arms around this topic to gain an understanding of the expectations and requirements. let's touch base and have an all hands meeting which we'll run up the flag pole and have a steering commitee discuss it.

shoot me in the face.. this thread is hilarious though, i hear this shit everyday.
 

BrokenVisage

Lifer
Jan 29, 2005
24,771
14
81
Would be better if the phrase was "Touch Breast", however you could only "Touch Breast" with other female coworkers, however you could try it on other guys too if you're adventurous.
 

Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: Zaitsev
Originally posted by: K1052
Originally posted by: AmpedSilence
Originally posted by: K1052
I think we should touch base on this rant later.

I'm making this a primary action item.

I agree, though maybe we should have a pre-meeting meeting to make sure that our ideas provide a synergy within the specific parameters. ;)

god, i hate corporate speak....

I'd like to pro-actively advance this strategic plan for a pre-meeting meeting in order to adequately future-proof this new paradigm.

*head asplode*

Unfortunately it makes perfect sense. :(

I prefer:

sh!t man...we better practice this sh!t so we don't fsk it up like last time
 

daveymark

Lifer
Sep 15, 2003
10,573
1
0
I really like the OP's value added, proactive rant. He revisits what it means to think out of the box. He didn't beat around the bush, he just hit the ground running. My plate is full right now, but I'm definitely going to keep this on the radar. His value-driven rant will provide some strategic ubiquity going forward. Because at the end of the day, the rant is really very client focused, with a leveraged mindset. Let's close the loop and then run the numbers to see how they work.
 

SwiftWind

Platinum Member
Sep 27, 2004
2,588
22
91
Originally posted by: daveymark
I really like the OP's value added, proactive rant. He revisits what it means to think out of the box. He didn't beat around the bush, he just hit the ground running. My plate is full right now, but I'm definitely going to keep this on the radar. His value-driven rant will provide some strategic ubiquity going forward. Because at the end of the day, the rant is really very client focused, with a leveraged mindset. Let's close the loop and then run the numbers to see how they work.
haha

Boss, is that you?


P.S.

This thread is funny. keep it up! 9.5/10 :D
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,081
136
I hate it too.

Was once on an airplane and heard a yuppie on a cell phone "touch base" with 2 friends, as well as his wife and kids. I thought yuppies were gone but this guy was still hanging around.
I felt the overwhelming urge to smack him hard. But then they closed the cabin door and he had to kill it.
The second we land this asshole is back on his phone, a good 3 minutes before they said we could use our phones again. He touched base with another 3 losers before we managed to get out.
 

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
25,134
2,450
126
Originally posted by: spidey07
Let's circle back and touch base so we can run this up the flag pole.

Can we schedule a 10:30 to hash this out? I don't have the bandwidth to tackle this one earlier.
 

trmiv

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
14,670
18
81
What's the worst is when they use combos. I had a boss at a former job say this, "I'm just touching base to see what your bandwidth is. If your plate isn't too full, there is something I'd like you to take on." He then asked me to "own" a "process."
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: trmiv
What's the worst is when they use combos. I had a boss at a former job say this, "I'm just touching base to see what your bandwidth is. If your plate isn't too full, there is something I'd like you to take on." He then asked me to "own" a "process."

Hopefully you weren't on your knees when he said this.
 

zoiks

Lifer
Jan 13, 2000
11,787
3
81
This case is not to be treated like a hot potato. You guy's need to get your ducks in a row, be proactive and take ownership of the situation. If you hit a wall, touch base with me to give me a heads up on the problem. We know that every little thing counts and we don't want this to be the last straw on the camels back.

Reminds me of when I used to work in support.
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Originally posted by: spidey07
Let's circle back and touch base so we can run this up the flag pole.

Can we schedule a 10:30 to hash this out? I don't have the bandwidth to tackle this one earlier.

Sure, just queue it up. I'll go nemawashi the flag pole to make sure we're in harmonic synergy with human capital.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
20
81
My major requires that I take a management class, which is going to happen within the next year.

I'm scared already, thanks in part to this thread.

If ever begin using this kind of language regularly in my postings, I will depend on the kind ATOT community to do what needs to be done.
Just, please do it in my sleep, nonviolently. I'd like to at least leave a decent-looking corpse for the funeral, and not leave a bloody mess for my landlord to clean up. :)
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Jeff7
My major requires that I take a management class, which is going to happen within the next year.

I'm scared already, thanks in part to this thread.

If ever begin using this kind of language regularly in my postings, I will depend on the kind ATOT community to do what needs to be done.
Just, please do it in my sleep, nonviolently. I'd like to at least leave a decent-looking corpse for the funeral, and not leave a bloody mess for my landlord to clean up. :)

You won't use it in your postings, but you will use it at work to get your point across.

<cartman>
Bzaaachk! Get out evil corporate speak
Bzzacck!
*But you must assimilate, this is your only way*
Bzaackkk!
*Join us*
Bzaakk
"Maybe if I join in the speak things will be much easier? Maybe mom really does love me?
*there you go*
 

Sukhoi

Elite Member
Dec 5, 1999
15,348
106
106
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Originally posted by: spidey07
Let's circle back and touch base so we can run this up the flag pole.

Can we schedule a 10:30 to hash this out? I don't have the bandwidth to tackle this one earlier.

Sure, just queue it up. I'll go nemawashi the flag pole to make sure we're in harmonic synergy with human capital.

Don't forget to yokoten the results of your jishuken while continuing to kaizen the countermeasures to last week's andon list!
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Sukhoi
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Originally posted by: spidey07
Let's circle back and touch base so we can run this up the flag pole.

Can we schedule a 10:30 to hash this out? I don't have the bandwidth to tackle this one earlier.

Sure, just queue it up. I'll go nemawashi the flag pole to make sure we're in harmonic synergy with human capital.

Don't forget to yokoten the results of your jishuken while continuing to kaizen the countermeasures to last week's andon list!

You're assimilating nicely.