To quit my job or not...

[purbeast0]

definitely find a new job while you are working. if you quit then start looking for jobs, and companies know you are jobless, then you really don't have any negotiating power.

but what you describe sounds like a terrible environment to work in, gtfo!

 

[vi edit]

What did you decide? The daycare's the big sticking point and, ok, I partly wouldn't mind just taking care of the kiddos for a month or two, bonding and all that gushy stuff

My kids are pretty spaced out age wise. My youngest was 2 at the time and my oldest was 6. My wife was also working crazy jacked up hours that varied wildly by the week.

We ended up moving to another state where she could get a more consistent schedule (no more 2nd shifts, less weekends, and pretty static day schedule). It just didn't make sense for me to quit work because of the age spacing. My daughter only needs an hour or two of after care but my younger one is in full time daycare. With our work discount his daycare is around $600 a month plus they feed him breakfast in the morning which is handy.

My employer also lets me use my sick time for the kids which was a big change to what I was used to. So I'm not burning PTO time on sick days for them. Which is great.

The math just wasn't there for us. I just brought in too much income from my job to make it a "no brainer" to stay home. Plus retirement benefits and some significant college savings for working where I do. Decided to stay employed.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

This story reminds me of what happened to my friend a few years ago. We were coworkers at a Fortune 500 company and he moved to a different facility on the main campus to act as a dedicated resource for that business. Anyway, the facility manager loved him and his work and he consistently got the highest reviews possible and appreciation from everyone.

Well, that facility manager got promoted and left. The new plant manager was this lard ass that had been with the company forever and everyone made fun of and few liked. Anyway, on his first review with this new manager, my friend got the lowest review possible. This company used the GE system where (IIRC) 20% got the top review, 70% the middle, and 10% the bottom. If you were at the bottom, you were automatically put on plan and would be fired if you didn't meet the goals outlined for you in the given timeframe.

Anyway, my friend knew exactly what they were trying to do. They wanted to get rid of him but needed a ton of work done first, so they called him in and said "You need to do x, y, and z by this date, or you're fired and we'll give you only 3 days per year of severance. If you just want to quit now, we'll give you 5 days per year." The manager thought there would be no way he'd leave since my friend had been with the company for years and knew my friend would bust his ass to get everything done and then they'd can him for another reason. My friend told them to fuck off, quit, and got his 5 days of severance and the new manager's jaw hit the floor. They were completely screwed.

EDIT: This same lard ass was a guy who chewed me out when I stopped by his office to look at his Blackberry and change the time zone (the Indiana time zone was eliminated in 2005). He told me I was "insulting his intelligence" by offering to do that for him. I said "OK" and left and went back to my desk. I got a call from the dumbass about 10 minutes later asking me to come down and fix it for him. I walked in and just smiled at him the whole time.

 

[slackerinabox]

My kids are pretty spaced out age wise. My youngest was 2 at the time and my oldest was 6. My wife was also working crazy jacked up hours that varied wildly by the week.

We ended up moving to another state where she could get a more consistent schedule (no more 2nd shifts, less weekends, and pretty static day schedule). It just didn't make sense for me to quit work because of the age spacing. My daughter only needs an hour or two of after care but my younger one is in full time daycare. With our work discount his daycare is around $600 a month plus they feed him breakfast in the morning which is handy.

My employer also lets me use my sick time for the kids which was a big change to what I was used to. So I'm not burning PTO time on sick days for them. Which is great.

The math just wasn't there for us. I just brought in too much income from my job to make it a "no brainer" to stay home. Plus retirement benefits and some significant college savings for working where I do. Decided to stay employed.

I completely understand your reasoning, but I'm just twitching to get out because the timing just feels so right :

1. I never get to spend time with my kids, they're sleeping by the time I'm home and the weekends are all about errands. Now that's obviously life, but soon one will be off to School, and I kinda enjoy taking care of the baby

2. $1,400 for childcare + the $800 rent discount a family member gave me after the arrival of my now 5 month old means my deficit's less than $1,300 a month (did I mention I'm underpaid too) which can be trimmed down by pruning back cable/cellphone/etc. and since my transportation expenses ($300 a month) will be wiped out. So about a grand a month hit is rough, but I can eat rice and lentils for a bit

3. My wife got a new contract as a NYC teacher that includes 20% in raises over the course of a few years, plus a $2k bonus she'll get on the 30th.

4. I would love time to just work out at home, stress and eating for me are directly linked so this shitty job has added 50 pounds to my waistline (ok, I'm the fat ass who deals with stress this way so I'm not blaming the job for my fat ass). A month of Just Dance 2014 and healthy eating would do wonders for my health and self esteem.

5. This sounds like an awful thing to say, but my parents have had a few scary health run ins and they've become incredibly generous with their money as a result, giving 6 figures to my step-siblings just recently (a guilt thing, I'm sure). They've repeatedly offered to lend me money to start a business but I've let pride get in the way... Maybe now's the time...

 

[DaTT]

I thought about that as well, the balance between incompetent enough to get laid off and incompetent enough to get fired is slim 🙂

You can still collect unemployment if you get fired.

I agree with whoever said to tell your boss, "You've made working here completely miserable. I'm interviewing for another job. See you tomorrow." if he questions your 1 or 2 hour disappearances.

 

[slackerinabox]

Anyway, my friend knew exactly what they were trying to do. They wanted to get rid of him but needed a ton of work done first, so they called him in and said "You need to do x, y, and z by this date, or you're fired and we'll give you only 3 days per year of severance. If you just want to quit now, we'll give you 5 days per year." The manager thought there would be no way he'd leave since my friend had been with the company for years and knew my friend would bust his ass to get everything done and then they'd can him for another reason. My friend told them to fuck off, quit, and got his 5 days of severance and the new manager's jaw hit the floor. They were completely screwed.

Yep, sounds near identical. He hasn't asked for logins yet so I can bluff him for a bit, but it will just feel so good to tell him to fuck off

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Yep, sounds near identical. He hasn't asked for logins yet so I can bluff him for a bit, but it will just feel so good to tell him to fuck off

You could do what another friend did. He went into the office early, packed his stuff, left, and then emailed his resignation.

 

[slackerinabox]

You could do what another friend did. He went into the office early, packed his stuff, left, and then emailed his resignation.

I was going to do that last night (took my personal things home last week). SO TEMPTED. Today's quiet. Hopefully he's too busy to get on my case so I'll squeak into the weekend to think about things.

 

[Pheran]

One thing to keep in mind is that if you are ready and willing to be fired, then you have all the power here. If the COO makes unreasonable demands or asks you to work crazy hours, you simply say, "No." If he fires you, then you can get unemployment.

Personally I would start looking for a new job and take a sick day if you need to for interviewing. Don't take any crap from them and if they fire you, oh well, good riddance.

 

[slackerinabox]

One thing to keep in mind is that if you are ready and willing to be fired, then you have all the power here. If the COO makes unreasonable demands or asks you to work crazy hours, you simply say, "No." If he fires you, then you can get unemployment.

Personally I would start looking for a new job and take a sick day if you need to for interviewing. Don't take any crap from them and if they fire you, oh well, good riddance.

Agree with you, I'm not going to storm out unless push truly comes to shove. But I don't think NY is the same as most places - I'm fairly certain that unemployment is only for lack of work/lay off and not getting fired.

 

[zCypher]

Wow that sounds totally unreasonable, must be really stressful. I would get another job asap. "I don't care"??? Holy shit, DIAF. I know it's not necessarily their responsibility as a corporate entity to give a shit about everyone's personal lives, but not being a total fucking dickhead goes a long way towards employee morale and churn.

I've never experienced that kind of shit at work, and I thought I had worked at some not so amazing places. Find a new job. Given your circumstances, try to do that while you're still getting a pay check.

 

[VulgarDisplay]

The only thing I'm debating right now is two weeks notice today, or on Monday.

 

[slackerinabox]

Wow that sounds totally unreasonable, must be really stressful. I would get another job asap. "I don't care"??? Holy shit, DIAF. I know it's not necessarily their responsibility as a corporate entity to give a shit about everyone's personal lives, but not being a total fucking dickhead goes a long way towards employee morale and churn.

I've never experienced that kind of shit at work, and I thought I had worked at some not so amazing places. Find a new job. Given your circumstances, try to do that while you're still getting a pay check.

Yeah, I was close to punching him when he showed absolutely no regard for my personal life (I offered to come in as early as possible, but I can't make daycare open earlier) when other coworkers have every friday off (err "work from home") to take care of their kids. I wasn't even asking for a concession, just stating that I simply did not have the lead time to make proper arrangements. He's a massive brat

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Yeah, I was close to punching him when he showed absolutely no regard for my personal life (I offered to come in as early as possible, but I can't make daycare open earlier) when other coworkers have every friday off (err "work from home") to take care of their kids. I wasn't even asking for a concession, just stating that I simply did not have the lead time to make proper arrangements. He's a massive brat

I once had a manager tell me that it was my responsibility to make up meeting time on my own personal time. In other words, if we had a meeting that lasted 2 hours, he expected me to spend 2 hours of my own personal time actually doing something productive for the company to make up for the lack of productivity while in a meeting. After I got done laughing, I said "Uh...NO. It is YOUR responsibility as a manager to evaluate the impact repeated meetings have on projects and to adjust accordingly and additionally, to judge if the meeting is even worthwhile or necessary. It isn't MY responsibility to work for free to make up for your decision to have constant meetings."

 

[DaTT]

Yeah, I was close to punching him when he showed absolutely no regard for my personal life (I offered to come in as early as possible, but I can't make daycare open earlier) when other coworkers have every friday off (err "work from home") to take care of their kids. I wasn't even asking for a concession, just stating that I simply did not have the lead time to make proper arrangements. He's a massive brat

If/when you find another job, I wouldn't give 2 weeks notice. This guy sounds like a real asshat. I would just quit....no notice whatsoever. It may be a burned bridge, but it sounds like you never want to cross it again anyways.

 

[Carson Dyle]

I know what I would do. I'm not saying it would be in your best interest.

First, I would point out in no uncertain terms that the timelines for these projects is unreasonable. Not just unreasonable, but idiotically unreasonable, to the point where it could only call into question the boss's competence. Do it both in a meeting witnessed by others and in writing. I would work on the projects at a reasonable pace. It would be best to get one or two done and let the others develop as they may, rather than letting all of them go unfinished.

And, yes, I'd be looking for another job in the meantime.

 

[Pheran]

Agree with you, I'm not going to storm out unless push truly comes to shove. But I don't think NY is the same as most places - I'm fairly certain that unemployment is only for lack of work/lay off and not getting fired.

Good point. After a little Googling I found that you get unemployment unless you are fired for misconduct or a criminal act. The definition of misconduct seems a bit vague, but there's some info here.

Disclaimer: IANAL and I don't know a damn thing about NY labor laws. 🙂

 

[slackerinabox]

If/when you find another job, I wouldn't give 2 weeks notice. This guy sounds like a real asshat. I would just quit....no notice whatsoever. It may be a burned bridge, but it sounds like you never want to cross it again anyways.

That is the plan, for sure.

 

[Carson Dyle]

Good point. After a little Googling I found that you get unemployment unless you are fired for misconduct or a criminal act.

And companies want to avoid unemployment claims as much as possible, since their unemployment insurance rate is based on how much the state pays out to former employees. This is why companies painstakingly 'write up' employees for little offenses like being a few minutes late or some perceived insubordination. When they want to get rid of someone, they can fire them for committing their n'th infraction, then argue against any unemployment claim by breaking out the file full of documented little misdeeds.

I know a restaurant owner with three local high-end eateries who _brags_ that his places have never had an unemployment claim against them. They fight any unemployment claim to the bitter end, and have always won.

 

[dmcowen674]

To quit my job or not...

It's been a very stressful few months at my job and I'm pretty much at the end of my rope, but being a dad 2 times over's confusing my decision. I'm the IT and web manager for a small non-profit and there's an obvious pattern going on - our COO becomes a total dick to his target by belligerently yelling at them in the hallways, writing very unfair emails, and just being a dick until they either quit on their own or they're eventually laid off. He did this to my now departed boss, her equal in another department, and at least 3 other people in the past 6 months.

Now I report under him and he stacked on 4 pretty big projects in a 2 months period (migrate to exchange in the cloud, totally replace our still working file server, upgrade every workstation, and replacing our conference room projectors with HD monitors).. Now, I'm not complaining about the workload but it's highly suspicious, especially since 2 of these projects should be quarterly goals, not monthly.

Last week, he demanded that I be at work the day after Labor Day an hour early. When my concern was that it would be impossible, (especially under such short notice) because I had to drop my children off at daycare and I live over an hour away, his retort was "I don't care." When I then told him that my wife needed to be at work (as a teacher for autistic children) for her first day of her new school year that day he again replied, "I don't care, it's not my problem. " He then implied that my work life should hold a equal or higher importance to my family life, which is unacceptable to me.

Now, after less than a week after completing a goal my predecessor slept on for 6 years, he's hounding me non-stop about the remainder of my tasks... I bet I'll be fired right after completing those .. Today I have an ominous meeting where he demanded firm timelines on everything remaining.... I'm thinking of just walking. It'll be hard without unemployment but.. Hm.. My rent was recently slashed so I think this is an opportunity to spent a few weeks with my 5 month old then hussle until I find a job that doesn't necessarily pay more but makes me a happier person.

Convince me that I'm being rash.

My god man. YOLO

Life is too short.

Find another job and get the hell out of that hell hole ASAP.

Not worth it.

 

[ch33zw1z]

He then implied that my work life should hold a equal or higher importance to my family life, which is unacceptable to me.

find a new job.

 

[sourceninja]

My advice, write down domain admin password, root passwords, etc (not your passwords, no employer should ever need an employee's password).

Give it to him in a sealed envelope preemptively. Tell him it's just in case anything happens to you. Then, if he's going to lay you off, he will either move up his time table, or start getting worried about losing you and be a bit nicer.

 

[slackerinabox]

find a new job.

are you asian too? we're very protective of our families, aren't we? I've learned to love those instincts 🙂 Yeah, it took quite a lot of self control to not flip out on him. I almost

 

[ch33zw1z]

are you asian too? we're very protective of our families, aren't we? I've learned to love those instincts 🙂 Yeah, it took quite a lot of self control to not flip out on him. I almost

I'm not asian. Very caucasian. It's just who we are 🙂

That being said, I work my ass off 40-60 hours/week(like you, sounds like you more though!), and expect the company to appreciate what I do...not turn around and demand more.

At the end of the day, when the times are tough, etc...who's really there for you. That's what matters. It's very obvious that your boss lacks comprehension of other's situations.

 

[slackerinabox]

I'm not asian. Very caucasian. It's just who we are 🙂

That being said, I work my ass off 40-60 hours/week(like you, sounds like you more though!), and expect the company to appreciate what I do...not turn around and demand more.

At the end of the day, when the times are tough, etc...who's really there for you. That's what matters. It's very obvious that your boss lacks comprehension of other's situations.

Sorry for implying that integrity and standing up was limited to a certain geographic area 🙂

Exactly, I don't even mind intense workloads - makes the day go quicker. When that workload is mixed with unrealistic expectations based on uninformed assumptions, then mixed with a nice bit of disrespect then, well... It's just not worth it. The piece of shit blankly said "your wife doesn't make any concessions for your career, the way you do for hers?" Forget that she makes more and has a career that's not a dead end, who the fuck is he to say that? And to bring up the time I had to leave early to pick up my kids because she had to hold PTA meetings... Fucking asshole..