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time for my self-assessment at work..

DigDog

DigDog

Lifer
i read this document full of corpo-speak and i cringe. it's incomprehensible and the only possible response i can think of is that i'm quitting. how else would i answer "proposed business developments for 2015", when i have to figure out things by myself because there isn't a centralized document that actually lists our procedures.
been working this electronic reporting system for a year and have yet to receive a list of the operation commands. most old timers around here have old crumpled pieces of paper with lists of useful (meaning FUNDAMENTAL) telephone numbers written on them, and they treasure them. what is a photocopier?

i'm also being pressured to turn in this doc because i'm late with it. why?

i had my *EVERYTHING* (badge, online access codes, email, internet passwords, even the employee details) deleted somehow when i was on my holidays, have been transferred (not just me, everyone in my team) three times in a year, takes me months to get a password changed, i have reported bugs on my VM windows with nothing saving correctly, took me 2 months to get f* OPENOFFICE!!!

i honestly can't manage to make myself write the drivel "i strive for perfection" etc. i'll bite the bullet, go talk to HR and tell them i'm out.

shit. i'll have to look for a new job.
 
Draw a dick on the document, hand it in, claim you're gonna go shift some paradigms and revolutionize outside the box, leave and never return. :thumbsup:
 
Remember, they don't want results, they want "action plans!" Include a flow chart of your daily tasking in 15 minute increments. The key is to "invest" your time and not spend it. Don't forget to delegate!
 
been working this electronic reporting system for a year and have yet to receive a list of the operation commands. most old timers around here have old crumpled pieces of paper with lists of useful (meaning FUNDAMENTAL) telephone numbers written on them, and they treasure them. what is a photocopier?
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take initiative and make a fucking list, then add it to your self review.

or quit.
 
I am main man for da fk up. Gimme da raise!

I hated those. Job I bailed on was so anal retentive about performance plans. pent weeks a year discussing it, updating it, or doing useless things to add notes to it. Eff, seriously, this is the bullshit we worried about?
 
Dude, of course exceed expectations, always.

Instead of "I showed up and did my job", you can do "due to my extremely efficient and super awesomesauce art of scratching my butt, I helped the company with 'x numbers of achievements' (plucked directly from the company's financial report)".
 
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Just rate yourself excellent in all categories and write a couple horseshit sentences. Your job sounds like horshorseshit hellpit of worthless tools and useless time wasters stopping you from doing any of your real work.. tell them your great.. and look elsewhere for work...
 
BurnItDwn said:
Just rate yourself excellent in all categories and write a couple horseshit sentences. Your job sounds like horshorseshit hellpit of worthless tools and useless time wasters stopping you from doing any of your real work.. tell them your great.. and look elsewhere for work...
Click to expand...

You missed the point except for the "look elsewhere for work" part. The corporate drones are looking for quantifiable actions and plans for current and future work from the OP. This isn't a matter of saying "I'm great," they want the OP to show how he met last years plan and an action plan for the coming years work. Basically, they want him to do his supervisors job and provide the information for his supervisor to plug in. Now all the OP has to do is find a way to delegate the job to his customers and the cycle will be complete.
 
When will you actually put to use those s-domain transfers and transfer functions and convolve a couple signals for good measure? I cannot figure out where all that knowledge goes when most engineers get a job. It's like we all said "whew! that was hard, team! Let's go kick some butt with paperwork!!!...and never touch this sh1t again 😀"
 
just give yourself a solid day to do the plan. i hate those year end reviews and future development plan, but it is usually worth the time invested, because it keeps the raises coming in. havent had a year without a raise yet.
 
The only reason why I would rather work for myself. We have to do the plans at the beginning of the year and results at the end. The cool part is we just copy and paste what our managers give us because it had to be in line with their managers. End of year we just paste achievements. Not a ton of bs that we have to wordsmith ourselves.
 
rh71 said:
The only reason why I would rather work for myself. We have to do the plans at the beginning of the year and results at the end. The cool part is we just copy and paste what our managers give us because it had to be in line with their managers. End of year we just paste achievements. Not a ton of bs that we have to wordsmith ourselves.
Click to expand...

this is exactly what we do. shit, are we working at the same place? 😕
 
Quit your bitchin' and get back to work.

emote_mad2.gif
 
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