This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you..............

[Ulfwald]

My dad always used to say "You had better straighten up or I'll knock you into next week!"

My biggest mistake was when I was 16 and thought I wasto big to get my but beat.......WRONG ANSWER>.....He said that to me one time and I smarted off right back at him...."Good! "Cause this week sucks anyway" needless to say, I didn't land until Sunday, and it was only monday.

 

[compuwiz1]

Now you've done it, you're grounded for life!!

That only lasted until about 7m the closest saturday night.

 

[Redwingsguy]

The one I heard too often was "If you masturbate too often you will go blind!!"

 

[chipbgt]

"Heeead...paper....NOW!"

 

[Format C:]

I'm surprised nobody has posted the number one answer...

"As long as you live under my roof..."

 

[compuwiz1]

About 10:05 pm, I could here my mother yelling, Steeeeeevvvvvvveeeeee!!!!! Get your A$$ home!!!
That must have followed the T.V. campagn about "It's 10:00, do you know where your children are?"

 

[Outfits]

If I've told you once I've told you a million times... I know there are others but this is the only that comes to mind right now.

 

[unxpurg8d]

My mom and Russ's mom must've gone to the same parenting classes. Mom was always saying "you touch that one more time and I'll rip your arm off and beat you over the head with it!". Of course we knew she wouldn't - at least not in public.

 

[SUOrangeman]

I really hate to play into ethnic/racial stereotypes, but I can tell that almost none of you watched/remember the Cosby Show religiously. And even if there was a Black household in the country that never saw an episode, I can almost gaurantee that the following phrase has been uttered at least once in ever one of those households:

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"

Thankfully, I first heard this on the Cosby Show and only jokingly ever since.

-SUO

 

[Yeeny]

How about "Don't pick at it, it will scar" or my fathers favorite, "If I have to pull this car over, I'm knocking heads!" Of course he never would, but he liked to threaten it!

 

[Triumph]

yeah, the ones in the car are always great. there are several variations on the "if i have to stop this car" or "i'll turn this car around" spiel.

 

[unxpurg8d]

SUOrangeman, you mean telling my kids "I think abortion should be made retroactive" is a BAD thing? ~~~~~~ (There goes that "Mother of the Year" award. Drats.)

 

[dennilfloss]

Turn down the f..king base! God I hate Zeppelin! (My folks hated Whole Lotta Love)

Are you sure that strange smell coming from your room is only incense and patchouli? I'd swear something is burning in there! (There was indeed) <Pffffffffffffffft!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!>

Why do you only bring girls to your room? Don't you have any male friends? Why is it always dark in there? You need more that a black light to see what you're doing! (No, I didn't)

When will you cut your damn hair? It's down below your butt now. (Hey! My idol is Ian Gillan!)

I swear I'm gonna burn that jean jacket.

LMAO

Smoke On The Water (Deep Purple)

 

[compuwiz1]

Earache, my eye!!

 

[Yeeny]

Oh, that reminds me of another one. My mom used to tell me &quot;I don't care if you are sh*tting out your eyes, or your head falls off, you are still going to school in the morning.&quot; Ah, the memories.

 

[claiomh]

i have the fun memory of da...

&quot;Do that again and you will be picking yourself up out of the wall&quot;

 

[Mariah21]

&quot;Just wait until we get home&quot;, and &quot;Go cut a switch&quot; That was always the ultimate. Having to choose which stick for dad to beat us with. My brother and I hated that as little kids - especially me. He always knew which ones to get so they would break in the middle of getting switched.

 

[WombatWoman]

One of the most frequent refrains of my teen years: &quot;If you think you are going out in public dressed like THAT, you have another think coming.&quot; So, of course, I covered the cleavage, pulled the skirt hem down as far as possible, left the house, rearranged everything as soon as I got out the front door, and left with a secret smile on my face.

Now wipe that smile off your face, young lady...

 

[JPT]

Any sons of doctors around recognise these?

-&quot;Dad, it hurts when I do this&quot; - &quot;Don't do it...&quot;

-&quot;Can I take an *(any random medicin)*?&quot; - &quot;No&quot; - &quot;Why? Is it bad for my stomach or something?&quot; - &quot;No... It's expensive...&quot;
or even: -&quot;Just go to bed and it will be better tomorrow&quot;

 

[Mday]

i am actually smarter than my parents, and know more about certain things...

unfortunately, this also means i don't listen a lick to what they say.

i realized this fact when i was pretty young, my parents were not educated. meaning the highest level of education either got was JHS, in china.

i am a good little boy, so, um, those things were never actually said to me.

 

[ltk007]

My parents always said, &quot;don't get smart.&quot;


Whenever I heard that i would get up, continually walk into walls, and say duh.

 

[compuwiz1]

Go to your room!

 

[Slacker]

Didnt read the whole thing but I bet no one had this one

I'm so mad that if I hit you right now I'd probably kill you

Dont know what made him (Dad) like that way back then (25yrs ago) but he is a different person now, I have never spanked/hit my son, never will, I can get through to him with words just fine.

 

[Ulfwald]

Whenever I got hurt, my dad always said: &quot;Get up and dust yourself off, you'll never know it a year from now.&quot;