There are definitely other problems going on here. That AIM away message she put up makes me think she's a drama queen. There's a lack of communication here that needs to get fixed or there isn't going to be a relationship for much longer.
There are definitely other problems going on here. That AIM away message she put up makes me think she's a drama queen. There's a lack of communication here that needs to get fixed or there isn't going to be a relationship for much longer.
yllus
Elite Member & Lifer
- Aug 20, 2000
- 20,577
- 432
- 126
I think that he simply wants a carefree life at this point in time and does not want to have to deal with other people's issues, as you call them. And perhaps you do upset and get dramatic a little too easily.
If you're looking for someone to help you through a rough time, then you may need to be looking elsewhere. I don't think that LJ has "issues" of his own, he just wants to enjoy life as it comes right now. Sex, beer, buddies & rock and roll. You want different things from each other as partners.
No need to blame the guy for not melding to your needs, but, again, you certainly have the right to choose to look to someone else for the support you're seeking. Unfortunately among the 21-to-25 year old male crowd you may not find it for a loooooooong time.
If you're looking for someone to help you through a rough time, then you may need to be looking elsewhere. I don't think that LJ has "issues" of his own, he just wants to enjoy life as it comes right now. Sex, beer, buddies & rock and roll. You want different things from each other as partners.
No need to blame the guy for not melding to your needs, but, again, you certainly have the right to choose to look to someone else for the support you're seeking. Unfortunately among the 21-to-25 year old male crowd you may not find it for a loooooooong time.
Link to what, the story?
There isn't one.
It was in early December of 1999, I had just started a new job. There was a married couple that both started the same job, & we were all in training. They ended up divorcing partway through the week of training, & they signed their divorce papers over lunch. And no, it wasn't a peaceful split. She ended up moving in with someone else in the training class, it was a mess.
Not something I really wanted to witness.
Viper GTS
sound like a typical conflict between a boy and a girl....
usually girl are more sensitive to feeling and if not being appreciated, they usually feel like what nativesunshine was talking about, dimissed all my feel ...etc
boy doesn't like to talk about feeling as it is not what we are expected from society or even ourself. however that doesn't mean boy don't have feeling. It is just that we don't want to be feminine and want to be a man. Well, man, after all, should be tough.
Feeling sharing between couple need time to work out. Give it some time.
Anyway, I wish the only few couple here in AT can work things out and continued to be what ppl envy about.
usually girl are more sensitive to feeling and if not being appreciated, they usually feel like what nativesunshine was talking about, dimissed all my feel ...etc
boy doesn't like to talk about feeling as it is not what we are expected from society or even ourself. however that doesn't mean boy don't have feeling. It is just that we don't want to be feminine and want to be a man. Well, man, after all, should be tough.
Feeling sharing between couple need time to work out. Give it some time.
Anyway, I wish the only few couple here in AT can work things out and continued to be what ppl envy about.
rudeguy
Lifer
- Dec 27, 2001
- 47,351
- 14
- 61
there is no way any of us can tell you what decision to make, or how to react to the things that happen. But you do have to ask yourself if its really worth all the drama to be with him....and he needs to ask himself the same question about you...from what I have read it sounds like he really didnt want to listen to you go on about your feelings all night, he wanted to party with his friends, I think any guy can understand that...and him being upset about your profile is understandable too...I was like that too, always putting myself first and not really caring about the othe person, but then I grew up
I'd agree with that you both have issues.
I think you probably do overreact. That line about your mind, body, and spirit being dead is definitely overboard. I'm sure your previous relationships have caused pain. Everybody who's been in a relationship has had pain though. Most people just don't dwell on it so deeply. Especially when they're in a new relationship.
He shouldn't react to you the way he does though. Telling you to get over it isn't going to help the situation, just make you feel worse. What he should be doing is try to address your issues and find out what he can do to help you feel better. At the very least, when you have issues with your current relationship, he should listen and respond to them.
I think you probably do overreact. That line about your mind, body, and spirit being dead is definitely overboard. I'm sure your previous relationships have caused pain. Everybody who's been in a relationship has had pain though. Most people just don't dwell on it so deeply. Especially when they're in a new relationship.
He shouldn't react to you the way he does though. Telling you to get over it isn't going to help the situation, just make you feel worse. What he should be doing is try to address your issues and find out what he can do to help you feel better. At the very least, when you have issues with your current relationship, he should listen and respond to them.
Dump him already. You already basically said in another thread that s*x isn't very good for you with this guy. And now he has the gall to say that crap to you??
Get rid of him! He obviously takes it for granted that he has such a cute girlfriend and doesn't appreciate you enough.
My .02
Matt
Get rid of him! He obviously takes it for granted that he has such a cute girlfriend and doesn't appreciate you enough.
My .02
Matt
Deeko
Lifer
- Jun 16, 2000
- 30,213
- 12
- 81
Either he is a moron, or he just isn't looking for the same things as you in a relationship. Seems that he has the attitude that you don't need to be serious about things, and if you want something more, and he won't change and give you something more, it may be time to move on. I can tell you first hand that relationships don't work when one person cares alot and the other doesn't.
Thanks...it was very sweet of you to say that and everyone else who's said encouraging things to me.
I'm not sure what I'll do...I know I overreact and can be a bit dramatic...but I can't help being so sensitive. We really need to have a long uninterrupted talk...but it's so hard to talk to him sometimes.
Once again, thanks to everyone for being so nice...and even understanding. I have a lot of thinking to do..and what better way than to do it while sitting outside on this beautiful day. At least I know the weather will cheer me up some...
dabuddha
Lifer
- Apr 10, 2000
- 19,579
- 17
- 81
You know, you probably just caught him in a bad time. Sometimes us guys don't feel like having a serious discussion. And when our girl is trying to discuss something serious and we're not in the mood, we'll kind of ignore it. I dunno how to explain it. The way you're accusing him of lying doesn't help matters much either. You have to learn to give him distance because it looks like that's what he's putting between you two right now. Of course that doesn't excuse him for acting like an ass.
I was going to say something similar. Add to THAT the fact he doesn't SHOWER often :disgust: and I can see why you may not enjoy sex.
I don't leave the house without a shower, I feel NASTY...
From reading that, I would totally agree with LordJezo.
Why the hell would he constantly want to hear about how you're in pain, your past haunts you, and you can't possibly forget about it so you have to dwell on it and bring him down with you?
Seriously.. don't call your boyfriend to bitch at him about how you're having a terrible time. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him to talk to you.
I had to end a two-year relationship because the girl just kept nagging. Yea.. you're sad.. but you will always have something to be sad about. You need to realize that you can decide what mood to put yourself into.
Try being optimistic. It doesn't seem like LordJezo was doing much for you in terms of advice - perhaps he gave up when his advice went ignored.
Why the hell would he constantly want to hear about how you're in pain, your past haunts you, and you can't possibly forget about it so you have to dwell on it and bring him down with you?
Seriously.. don't call your boyfriend to bitch at him about how you're having a terrible time. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him to talk to you.
I had to end a two-year relationship because the girl just kept nagging. Yea.. you're sad.. but you will always have something to be sad about. You need to realize that you can decide what mood to put yourself into.
Try being optimistic. It doesn't seem like LordJezo was doing much for you in terms of advice - perhaps he gave up when his advice went ignored.
Schadenfreude
Lifer
- Dec 28, 2001
- 11,391
- 3
- 0
time out time out....
you both read this forum? and you're posting serious relationship problems in a thread?! Don't you think he might come across.
This is just too messed up for my tastes.
Anyway, back to the relationship. If you're "going through pain"... is this because of something he does, or because of some other event in your life that your boyfriend is not caring about? Either way, if he's not listening and saying something like "oh get over it" when you really do have a problem, then that doesn't sound right. he obviously needs to listen to you more, or maybe you gotta move on.
(keep in mind i didn't read this whole thread... i just posted my reponse after reading the first post)
you both read this forum? and you're posting serious relationship problems in a thread?! Don't you think he might come across.
This is just too messed up for my tastes.
Anyway, back to the relationship. If you're "going through pain"... is this because of something he does, or because of some other event in your life that your boyfriend is not caring about? Either way, if he's not listening and saying something like "oh get over it" when you really do have a problem, then that doesn't sound right. he obviously needs to listen to you more, or maybe you gotta move on.
(keep in mind i didn't read this whole thread... i just posted my reponse after reading the first post)
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