(this is a long one)

[purepolly]

You're right in this instance. He is disregarding your feelings and needs, and he could have been more tactful.

Is this a rare instance, or is it a general trend?

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: yllus
I think that he simply wants a carefree life at this point in time and does not want to have to deal with other people's issues, as you call them. And perhaps you do upset and get dramatic a little too easily.

If you're looking for someone to help you through a rough time, then you may need to be looking elsewhere. I don't think that LJ has "issues" of his own, he just wants to enjoy life as it comes right now. Sex, beer, buddies & rock and roll. You want different things from each other as partners.

No need to blame the guy for not melding to your needs, but, again, you certainly have the right to choose to look to someone else for the support you're seeking. Unfortunately among the 21-to-25 year old male crowd you may not find it for a loooooooong time.

^^^^ Well, that sums up my opinion rather well. You sound alot like my fiancee when I first got together with her. Wish I could tell you what eliminated that problem from our relationship, all I really know is she started in on me for something stupid, I went off on her, stormed out and drove away. About 5 hours later when I came back, she apologized and our relationship has been smooth since. Maybe one of you needs to explode in a fit of rage?

 

[Krassus]

It could be a number of things, and i don't know enough about him to even make an uneducated guess. Either way, this can be as simple or complicated and you want to make it, but if you say that he constantly hurts you, and only says he cares about you, yet acts otherwise, i think you should look for someone else. You tried again and again and again, and failed again and again and again. Move on.

 

[Yeeny]

neither one of you are happy, and its obviously not going to change, so end it, and move on. you can't change him, and you shouldn't have to, if he doesn't want to talk to you, find someone who will. and maybe, you could spend some time working on your own issues, so when you meet someone again, you won't feel so overwhelmed or be so easily upset by things like this.

 

[DeafeningSilence]

Go to a relationship expert or counselor, so he can tell you this:

You two are obviously emotionally incompatible.

Or you could save your $$$ and just hear it from me.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: brxndxn
From reading that, I would totally agree with LordJezo.

Why the hell would he constantly want to hear about how you're in pain, your past haunts you, and you can't possibly forget about it so you have to dwell on it and bring him down with you?

Seriously.. don't call your boyfriend to bitch at him about how you're having a terrible time. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him to talk to you.

I had to end a two-year relationship because the girl just kept nagging. Yea.. you're sad.. but you will always have something to be sad about. You need to realize that you can decide what mood to put yourself into.

Try being optimistic. It doesn't seem like LordJezo was doing much for you in terms of advice - perhaps he gave up when his advice went ignored.

There's a distinct difference between a girl nagging and a girl asking for support from her boyfriend. If she nags ALL THE TIME, then yeah, there's a problem. But if she just wants someone to listen to her about something that's upsetting her at the moment, her boyfriend should be there for her.

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: brxndxn
From reading that, I would totally agree with LordJezo.

Why the hell would he constantly want to hear about how you're in pain, your past haunts you, and you can't possibly forget about it so you have to dwell on it and bring him down with you?

Seriously.. don't call your boyfriend to bitch at him about how you're having a terrible time. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him to talk to you.

I had to end a two-year relationship because the girl just kept nagging. Yea.. you're sad.. but you will always have something to be sad about. You need to realize that you can decide what mood to put yourself into.

Try being optimistic. It doesn't seem like LordJezo was doing much for you in terms of advice - perhaps he gave up when his advice went ignored.

There's a distinct difference between a girl nagging and a girl asking for support from her boyfriend. If she nags ALL THE TIME, then yeah, there's a problem. But if she just wants someone to listen to her about something that's upsetting her at the moment, her boyfriend should be there for her.

True but what if the guy is upset about something at the moment to and wants to be left alone. It's not always about the girl which unfortunately, a lot of girls tend to think it is.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: dabuddha

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: brxndxn
From reading that, I would totally agree with LordJezo.

Why the hell would he constantly want to hear about how you're in pain, your past haunts you, and you can't possibly forget about it so you have to dwell on it and bring him down with you?

Seriously.. don't call your boyfriend to bitch at him about how you're having a terrible time. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him to talk to you.

I had to end a two-year relationship because the girl just kept nagging. Yea.. you're sad.. but you will always have something to be sad about. You need to realize that you can decide what mood to put yourself into.

Try being optimistic. It doesn't seem like LordJezo was doing much for you in terms of advice - perhaps he gave up when his advice went ignored.

There's a distinct difference between a girl nagging and a girl asking for support from her boyfriend. If she nags ALL THE TIME, then yeah, there's a problem. But if she just wants someone to listen to her about something that's upsetting her at the moment, her boyfriend should be there for her.

True but what if the guy is upset about something at the moment to and wants to be left alone. It's not always about the girl which unfortunately, a lot of girls tend to think it is.

Then the girl should respect that. But both parties should be open to communicate that information--if you want to be left alone, come out and say it instead of assuming the other party already knows it. PEOPLE ARE NOT MIND READERS... male or female.

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: dabuddha

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: brxndxn
From reading that, I would totally agree with LordJezo.

Why the hell would he constantly want to hear about how you're in pain, your past haunts you, and you can't possibly forget about it so you have to dwell on it and bring him down with you?

Seriously.. don't call your boyfriend to bitch at him about how you're having a terrible time. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force him to talk to you.

I had to end a two-year relationship because the girl just kept nagging. Yea.. you're sad.. but you will always have something to be sad about. You need to realize that you can decide what mood to put yourself into.

Try being optimistic. It doesn't seem like LordJezo was doing much for you in terms of advice - perhaps he gave up when his advice went ignored.

There's a distinct difference between a girl nagging and a girl asking for support from her boyfriend. If she nags ALL THE TIME, then yeah, there's a problem. But if she just wants someone to listen to her about something that's upsetting her at the moment, her boyfriend should be there for her.

True but what if the guy is upset about something at the moment to and wants to be left alone. It's not always about the girl which unfortunately, a lot of girls tend to think it is.

Then the girl should respect that. But both parties should be open to communicate that information--if you want to be left alone, come out and say it instead of assuming the other party already knows it. PEOPLE ARE NOT MIND READERS... male or female.

Very true but most people don't want to hurt their significant others. The problem arises when they keep giving obvious hints and the other person just doesn't get it. Granted, they should just flat out say what they feel but it's not always easy and most people avoid it.

 

[Geekbabe]

I'm actually rather amazed that you even still have a relationship, after telling an entire forum full of strangers that LJ isn't capable of getting the job done in bed.

This thread and those like it are in really poor form.

 

[Spooner]

does LJ post around here anymore?

 

[rgwalt]

Relationship problems are tough. It sounds like you two could use a little time apart. He needs to learn how to listen to you, and you need to learn when he needs space. It sounds like he is fed up and annoyed with you, so that is why he lashes out and says things that hurt you. I'm not saying he has any right to be annoyed or not as I don't know the entire history. Also, if the sex isn't good, or was good and has become bad, that is a bad sign. Giving yourselves some time to cool off wouldn't be a bad idea.

Now, that all being said, here is something else to think about. I don't know what happened in your past Sunshine, but it is over now. As much as it hurt and as much as it sucked, dwelling on the past only makes it worse. You are in a different time and place in your life. It would be best for you if you could just let the past go. Trust me. I went through hell in college. Most of my freshman year, ALL of my sophomore year, and about half of my junior year SUCKED. I mean they really and truly stank. I'm still bitter 3 years later and after moving away from everything and everyone that made my life difficult. I don't even talk to those people anymore, and I'm still bitter and it still hurts, but I'm so much happier now and I get better by the day when I'm able to let them go.

So, that is my advice to you... Try to let the past go. If you need professional help, if things were that traumatic, then don't hesitate to go see someone.

Best of luck to you my dear.

Ryan

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'm actually rather amazed that you even still have a relationship, after telling an entire forum full of strangers that LJ isn't capable of getting the job done in bed.

This thread and those like it are in really poor form.

Yes, there's that, too.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'm actually rather amazed that you even still have a relationship, after telling an entire forum full of strangers that LJ isn't capable of getting the job done in bed.

This thread and those like it are in really poor form.

If you can't talk to a board full of strangers, who CAN you talk to? However, it is pretty amazing that she has said what she has said about LJ and he hasn't said a word.

 

[dabuddha]

Originally posted by: Hoober

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'm actually rather amazed that you even still have a relationship, after telling an entire forum full of strangers that LJ isn't capable of getting the job done in bed.

This thread and those like it are in really poor form.

Yes, there's that, too.

Sad to say, I think after this thread, the relationship is probably done for.