This fish will swim into your Urethra

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It would still be cool to surf the amazon..... Just be sure to bring ducktape and a few condoms.... ;)
 

jjones

Lifer
Oct 9, 2001
15,424
2
0
The candiru has a voracious appetite for blood and will parasitize fish, mammals, and humans. One scientist, while holding a candiru, accidently let it enter a small cut on his hand. It could be seen writhing under the skin towards the vein.

When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0
Originally posted by: jjones
The candiru has a voracious appetite for blood and will parasitize fish, mammals, and humans. One scientist, while holding a candiru, accidently let it enter a small cut on his hand. It could be seen writhing under the skin towards the vein.

When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.

Sounds like Stargate baddies.

 

Shantanu

Banned
Feb 6, 2001
2,197
1
0
My high school biology teacher used to tell us about those all the time... He almost had a first hand experience with one while swimming in the Amazon river one time :Q
 

UnatcoAgent

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 1999
5,462
1
0
If your dumb enough to go swimming in the amazon you deserve to have a pointy fish swim up your dick.
 

Bootprint

Diamond Member
Jan 11, 2002
9,847
0
0


Sounds like something for the next Bond film...

Sharks have nothing on this...


Mr. Bond trapped in a pool after drinking a few pints of beer, and the evil dude tells him everything, Mr Bond starts to feel that pressue on his bladder...


Maybe Mr. Bond escapes, but it's too late... They have to amputate and maybe grow him a new one from a cylinder of flesh from his arm...
 

Renob

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2000
7,596
1
81
I would rather be bit by a brown recluse, then have that little guy swim up Mr Happy.
 

WinkOsmosis

Banned
Sep 18, 2002
13,990
1
0
Originally posted by: Bootprint
Sounds like something for the next Bond film...

Sharks have nothing on this...


Mr. Bond trapped in a pool after drinking a few pints of beer, and the evil dude tells him everything, Mr Bond starts to feel that pressue on his bladder...


Maybe Mr. Bond escapes, but it's too late... They have to amputate and maybe grow him a new one from a cylinder of flesh from his arm...

Since when does James Bond drink beer???
 

Bootprint

Diamond Member
Jan 11, 2002
9,847
0
0
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: Bootprint
Sounds like something for the next Bond film...

Sharks have nothing on this...


Mr. Bond trapped in a pool after drinking a few pints of beer, and the evil dude tells him everything, Mr Bond starts to feel that pressue on his bladder...


Maybe Mr. Bond escapes, but it's too late... They have to amputate and maybe grow him a new one from a cylinder of flesh from his arm...

Since when does James Bond drink beer???


It was that or Martinis that were stirred...