Things I learned working in the ER

[Looney]

Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend

Originally posted by: gasser11
Text

SacrosanctFiend,

why did you feel the need to take other people's real experiences in the ER and pretend you actually saw it yourself...

Hi, guy. Didn't steal it from that forum, as I've never been there. It was things told to me by doctors in the ER, and things I saw. Thanks for playing.

LOL except these are DIRECT quotes letter by letter in that forum You expect us to believe that these are things that have been told to you, and things you saw, and you coincidentally wrote them down LETTER BY LETTER as what that forum has?

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose

Originally posted by: phreaqe

does anybidy know why they say this: If you are having chest painDon't go to the bathroom. period.

i have never heard that ans want to know why this is the case. it was mentioned a few time in that other thread

I've never heard that & it makes no sense-

<-ER nurse for nearly a decade

If you grunt one out, your blood pressure could drop causing you to faint. This has nothing to do with having a heart attack and everything to do with being old and frail.

 

[thomsbrain]

haha, that's great.

i had a friend in HS who's parents worked in San Francisco ER's. One day while his mom was working, a guy came in who apparently had a 2 FOOT dildo up his butt. You could feel it through his stomach. He was in pretty bad shape. Only in San Francisco... i'd think it was bull but his mom wasn't the lying type and i've seen SF fisting party websites that claim you can fist someone up to your elbow. don't ask how i got there. craigslist can take you to some deep dark holes in the internet (pun intended).

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
haha, that's great.

i had a friend in HS who's parents worked in San Francisco ER's. One day while his mom was working, a guy came in who apparently had a 2 FOOT dildo up his butt. You could feel it through his stomach. He was in pretty bad shape. Only in San Francisco... i'd think it was bull but his mom wasn't the lying type and i've seen SF fisting party websites that claim you can fist someone up to your elbow. don't ask how i got there. craigslist can take you to some deep dark holes in the internet (pun intended).

You know...

Someday...

Somewhere...

SOMEBODY is going to find a way to destroy the whole human race in an instant. And they will be tormenting themselves over whether they should do it or not. And then they will find this thread.

And we'll all be fvcked.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: dderidex

Originally posted by: thomsbrain
haha, that's great.

i had a friend in HS who's parents worked in San Francisco ER's. One day while his mom was working, a guy came in who apparently had a 2 FOOT dildo up his butt. You could feel it through his stomach. He was in pretty bad shape. Only in San Francisco... i'd think it was bull but his mom wasn't the lying type and i've seen SF fisting party websites that claim you can fist someone up to your elbow. don't ask how i got there. craigslist can take you to some deep dark holes in the internet (pun intended).

You know...

Someday...

Somewhere...

SOMEBODY is going to find a way to destroy the whole human race in an instant. And they will be tormenting themselves over whether they should do it or not. And then they will find this thread.

And we'll all be fvcked.

And Craigslist will link to it.

 

[Beau]

So, any bets on if SacrosanctFiend will ever come back?

 

[dethman]

Originally posted by: Beau
So, any bets on if SacrosanctFiend will ever come back?

i can picture him fuming.

 

[Legendary]

Not having witnessed Nik's pwnage firsthand, I'm glad I got to see this one in action.

 

[Megatomic]

I got to see both. Life is good. :beer:

 

[Rudee]

Originally posted by: Beau
So, any bets on if SacrosanctFiend will ever come back?

It's a shame because he had so many posts. Now he'll be eternally remembered for this one thread. He's becoming another Nik.

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Beau
Meesa thinkin' you got pwned in the ass with this thread.

Ah, wait, you fell on it, right?

I almost passed out laughing so hard at that one...
:thumbsup: :beer:

 

[imported_mitch2891]

Well at least while being pwned he left us with one of the best things I have read in along time.

quote

If you are a female that masturbates so furiously your "clit is bleeding, not my vagina", try some lube next time.

How do doctors not just openly laugh in the faces of these people?

 

[RegularK]

Originally posted by: phreaqe

Originally posted by: cerebusPu

Originally posted by: phreaqe

does anybidy know why they say this: If you are having chest painDon't go to the bathroom. period.

i have never heard that ans want to know why this is the case. it was mentioned a few time in that other thread

maybe its because you'd probably get a heart attack and kneel over in the bathroom. no one would notice and would just assume you are taking a long dump.

Ive had a friend who passed out from drinking too much in the bathroom. we were eating dinner and realized that she's been in the bathroom for like 2 hours.

that is the only thing i could think of but they made it sound like it was for some medical reason. o well

maybe it has to do with being in a really cramped area...maybe it's just a precautionary measure to not bump your head on the counter or something *shrugs*

At any rate, I heard this one story from my pharmacy manager. It seems very far-fetched but people are crazy and I can't put anything past them anymore. A woman came in to see her doctor because her female part was swollen and was filled with pus. After the doctor looked at it and popped the pus-filled bubble, a bunch of cockroach babies/eggs came out. After a lot of poking and prodding (with questions-- not at the pus-filled bubble) the doctor gathered from the lady that she had been masturbating with a beer bottle, and figured that there was probably a cockroach egg/something or other in there.

Other stories include small animals lodged places.

Anywho...have a great night, everybody!

 

[Pantoot]

Originally posted by: ThisIsKimbO

Originally posted by: phreaqe

Originally posted by: cerebusPu

Originally posted by: phreaqe

does anybidy know why they say this: If you are having chest painDon't go to the bathroom. period.

i have never heard that ans want to know why this is the case. it was mentioned a few time in that other thread

maybe its because you'd probably get a heart attack and kneel over in the bathroom. no one would notice and would just assume you are taking a long dump.

Ive had a friend who passed out from drinking too much in the bathroom. we were eating dinner and realized that she's been in the bathroom for like 2 hours.

that is the only thing i could think of but they made it sound like it was for some medical reason. o well

maybe it has to do with being in a really cramped area...maybe it's just a precautionary measure to not bump your head on the counter or something *shrugs*

At any rate, I heard this one story from my pharmacy manager. It seems very far-fetched but people are crazy and I can't put anything past them anymore. A woman came in to see her doctor because her female part was swollen and was filled with pus. After the doctor looked at it and popped the pus-filled bubble, a bunch of cockroach babies/eggs came out. After a lot of poking and prodding (with questions-- not at the pus-filled bubble) the doctor gathered from the lady that she had been masturbating with a beer bottle, and figured that there was probably a cockroach egg/something or other in there.

Other stories include small animals lodged places.

Anywho...have a great night, everybody!

I have heard two observations from police or ambulance arriving on a scene with dead bodies.
1)An elderly female will always be naked.
2)A male will always be on the toilet.

I don't know if there is more to the heart pains and toilet (if the toilet makes it worse), but I think the poster is just saying that if there is a chance that you are having a heart attack, for their convenience, please stay away from the toilet.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: mitch2891
Well at least while being pwned he left us with one of the best things I have read in along time.

quote

If you are a female that masturbates so furiously your "clit is bleeding, not my vagina", try some lube next time.

How do doctors not just openly laugh in the faces of these people?

They usually smell so bad it's more important to get the hell away from them &amp; not vomit rather than laugh at them

 

[SP33Demon]

Classic pwnage thread!

 

[AdamDuritz99]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: AdamDuritz99
-ERs are also known as 24hr free clinics. Unless, of course you are an American citizen, actually have insurance or own property...then you have to pay.

peace
sean

Fixed.

hahhaha. Yeah, that's exactly right. LOL

Wait, why am I laughing!? I'm an American citizen that actually has insurance.

peace
sean

 

[djheater]

That's to bad.

 

[OutHouse]

ok one more and ill stop

1. When purchasing a snickers bar at a local convenience store, don't pay for your food with a bag of crack.

2. Don't run from the deputy who was munching on a donut in the aisle behind you.

3. When kicking the aforementioned deputy and fleeing from the law, do not challenge the metal-tipped pack of belgian malinois dogs to a foot race. You WILL lose.

4. Try suing the sherrif's office for police brutality to recuperate some of your medical costs involved in the reconstruction and grafting of your degloved limbs.

 

[MaxDSP]

Originally posted by: dethman

Originally posted by: Beau
So, any bets on if SacrosanctFiend will ever come back?

i can picture him fuming.

LINK?

 

[Storm]

Wow someone got egg on their face.