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Things I hate about computer users....

Fritzo

Fritzo

Lifer
1. It's not called "crashing your computer" when you reinstall Windows. Crashing is what happens when you install 500 MB worth of adware on your computer and it locks up, causing you to want to reinstall windows.

2. Not installing Windows Updates because you don't like Microsoft's control on the PC market, then calling me when your computer keeps flashing something about an RPC error and it's going to shut down in one minute. That's right...that'll show ol' Bill- leave yourself vulnerable so you catch a virus and make him fell guilty. These same people think nothing of using BP's gas stations to fill up their car, SBC or Verizon to make their phone calls, or using VISA to pay for it all.

3. The modem is a part inside your computer. The hard drive is a part inside your computer. STOP CALLING YOUR COMPUTER A MODEM, STOP CALLING YOUR COMPUTER A HARD DRIVE! These same people call their car an "engine" and their calculator a "battery".

4. If you call the nice people on a support line, please call about something they're supposed to fix. Stop calling your Internet provider because your printer won't work. Stop calling your computer manufacturer because your $10 web cam won't install...enough already!

5. Stop saying "I'm not very computer illiterate." That would mean you're computer literate, and therefore shouldn't be calling me for help!

6. If you're old and see a 1-800 number, it does not invite you to call the number every day to "check in". You know that 10-15 minutes you sometimes have to wait when you're calling in for tech support? That's because Earl in Retirement Home, Florida calls every day and waits with you on the line just to make sure his computer starts up properly.

7. Awesome! You just got a new 4 megapixel camera! Too bad you a) don't have over a 3rd grade reading comprehension b) are too busy, or c) are much too important to read the manual and know that each picture at full resolution is going to be around 1MB. When you email those 12 pictures of your thumb and 4 pictures of kids with red eyes all at once, your grandma on dialup is going to have to download a 16MB attachment. This results in a call to your ISP. When the suggestion of "lowering the resolution" is suggested, a response similar to that listed in listing #5 is usually the response.

8. This conversation (which is gone through several times daily):
User- Yeah, I just got your tape (which is geezer-eze for "disk" or "CD"), and I can't follow these instructions (again, a #5 is often added here for emphasis).

Support- OK, the reading the instructions, it says "Insert the disk into the computer."

User- OK, I did that.

Support- Click "Start" then "Run"

User- OK, I did that.

Support: Type in A:\setup and click OK.

User- OK, I did that. A window with a bar says it's running. Now it says it's done.

Support- Click OK. That's all.

What was that, 3....4 steps? This is why instructions are not printed on toilet paper...people would not be able to read them and figure it out.

9. Email addresses are not case sensitive. Stop correcting me by saying "That should be CAPITAL S in Senile@old.com".

Follow these rules, and I'll be happy. 'K?

:disgust:
 
I feel your pain. I used to be a help desk manager.

Shotguns will solve your problems. Doesn't matter where you point them, just don't run out of shells.
 
yeah its a pity that not everyone is an expert on computers. man that would make your job sooo much easer eh?

oh wait..if they were experts you wouldn't have a job. oh darn. now what?
 
"I don't need a virus program because I don't get viruses".

I'm at work right now at our schools helpdesk.
 
Originally posted by: waggy
yeah its a pity that not everyone is an expert on computers. man that would make your job sooo much easer eh?

oh wait..if they were experts you wouldn't have a job. oh darn. now what?
Click to expand...

Absolutely nothing on the list had anything to do with someone being an expert on a computer. It had to do with common sense. I'm MORE than happy to help people that have a legitimate problem. Unfortunately, 8/10 people do not have them.

 
I had an argument with a guy who runs a lab at my university. I'm a network tech, he calls because he has a network issue. So I drop by, check the three jacks that "arent working", they work just fine. I leave him some new cables, and close the call. The next day the call gets re-opened, the guy asks that he be present when the techs come out to check it. So fine, I show up, he decides to screw with me and make me wait till I am packing up to leave (15+ minutes elapsed) before he comes out of his office. However, I have spent this time running a continous network ping on a server from my laptop, through one of these "inoperative" jacks.

Him: My network connections dont work (by "connections he means 3 computers next to each other out of a 30+ PC lab).
Me: *has already plugged in my laptop, and been pinging a server* Yes they do.
Him: No they dont.
Me: Yes, they do, I can ping servers, I've been pinging one for about 15 minutes while waiting for you.
Him: Well, thats fine, but my network connection doesnt work.
Me: Yes it does.
Him: No it doesnt.
Me: Then how am I transferring this file via FTP (at 88Mbit/sec, no less)?
Him: I dont know, maybe you forgot to clear your Temporary Internet folder.
Me: But I'm FTPing through the command line, and the destination folder isnt anywhere near the Temporary Internet Files fodler.
Him: Look, are you going to fix my connections or not?
Me: They're fixed!
Him: *plugs in his PC* nope, not working.
Me: *speaking very verrrrrrrrrry slowly* have you altered these three PCs in any way from the other 30-odd computers in this room?
Him: Yes, I uninstalled AutoCAD and put them on a seperate domain I created.
Me: When did they stop working?
Him: Right after I did that, the network connection went bad. Why the hell cant you guys keep this frigging network running? All you've got to do is plug it in!
Me: *At this point I'm wondering how long a prison sentence I'd get for strangling him with a Cat5e cable* And you see no correlation?
Him: Great, you guys screw up the network, and now you are thinking might be my fault?
Me: No, I'm not thinking it might be your fault, actually I'm pretty sure it is...

Mixed in there somewhere was him requesting I go to the patch panel, unplug the patch cable coming from where jack A is on the patch panel to the switch, and then plug the cable back in so that jack A and jack B are joined by the patch cable at the panel. Because this will at least let jack B access the network, according to him. And no, I didnt screw up the request, I made him draw me a f***ing picture so that I knew what he was saying, because I kept trying to interpret his ramblings (which frequently made use of highly technical words, such as "it", "that thingie in the rack", and "how would I know what it is called?") in such a way that the jacks in the doghouse made an electrical connection to our switch in the data closet.

Two days later he asked that the problem ticket be closed, because right after he re-ghosted the PCs, the network connection started working again.
 
The other side of the coin...

When I send a lappy back to have a motherboard replaced, don't send it back with another bad motherboard.

Either the person didn't check the work, or did and sent it back anyway.

Neither is acceptable.
 
Originally posted by: Mookow
I had an argument with a guy who runs a lab at my university. I'm a network tech, he calls because he has a network issue. So I drop by, check the three jacks that "arent working", they work just fine. I leave him some new cables, and close the call. The next day the call gets re-opened, the guy asks that he be present when the techs come out to check it. So fine, I show up, he decides to screw with me and make me wait till I am packing up to leave (15+ minutes elapsed) before he comes out of his office. However, I have spent this time running a continous network ping on a server from my laptop, through one of these "inoperative" jacks.

Him: My network connections dont work (by "connections he means 3 computers next to each other out of a 30+ PC lab).
Me: *has already plugged in my laptop, and been pinging a server* Yes they do.
Him: No they dont.
Me: Yes, they do, I can ping servers, I've been pinging one for about 15 minutes while waiting for you.
Him: Well, thats fine, but my network connection doesnt work.
Me: Yes it does.
Him: No it doesnt.
Me: Then how am I transferring this file via FTP (at 88Mbit/sec, no less)?
Him: I dont know, maybe you forgot to clear your Temporary Internet folder.
Me: But I'm FTPing through the command line, and the destination folder isnt anywhere near the Temporary Internet Files fodler.
Him: Look, are you going to fix my connections or not?
Me: They're fixed!
Him: *plugs in his PC* nope, not working.
Me: *speaking very verrrrrrrrrry slowly* have you altered these three PCs in any way from the other 30-odd computers in this room?
Him: Yes, I uninstalled AutoCAD and put them on a seperate domain I created.
Me: When did they stop working?
Him: Right after I did that, the network connection went bad. Why the hell cant you guys keep this frigging network running? All you've got to do is plug it in!
Me: *At this point I'm wondering how long a prison sentence I'd get for strangling him with a Cat5e cable* And you see no correlation?
Him: Great, you guys screw up the network, and now you are thinking might be my fault?
Me: No, I'm not thinking it might be your fault, actually I'm pretty sure it is...

Mixed in there somewhere was him requesting I go to the patch panel, unplug the patch cable coming from where jack A is on the patch panel to the switch, and then plug the cable back in so that jack A and jack B are joined by the patch cable at the panel. Because this will at least let jack B access the network, according to him. And no, I didnt screw up the request, I made him draw me a f***ing picture so that I knew what he was saying, because I kept trying to interpret his ramblings (which frequently made use of highly technical words, such as "it", "that thingie in the rack", and "how would I know what it is called?") in such a way that the jacks in the doghouse made an electrical connection to our switch in the data closet.

Two days later he asked that the problem ticket be closed, because right after he re-ghosted the PCs, the network connection started working again.
Click to expand...


this is a better rant.
 
Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: waggy
yeah its a pity that not everyone is an expert on computers. man that would make your job sooo much easer eh?

oh wait..if they were experts you wouldn't have a job. oh darn. now what?
Click to expand...

Absolutely nothing on the list had anything to do with someone being an expert on a computer. It had to do with common sense. I'm MORE than happy to help people that have a legitimate problem. Unfortunately, 8/10 people do not have them.
Click to expand...

Fritzo I hear you man. I got a good laugh of that rant, by the way. I'm a tech too and have heard some good ones over the years. 😉
 
Originally posted by: Mookow
I had an argument with a guy who runs a lab at my university. I'm a network tech, he calls because he has a network issue. So I drop by, check the three jacks that "arent working", they work just fine. I leave him some new cables, and close the call. The next day the call gets re-opened, the guy asks that he be present when the techs come out to check it. So fine, I show up, he decides to screw with me and make me wait till I am packing up to leave (15+ minutes elapsed) before he comes out of his office. However, I have spent this time running a continous network ping on a server from my laptop, through one of these "inoperative" jacks.

Him: My network connections dont work (by "connections he means 3 computers next to each other out of a 30+ PC lab).
Me: *has already plugged in my laptop, and been pinging a server* Yes they do.
Him: No they dont.
Me: Yes, they do, I can ping servers, I've been pinging one for about 15 minutes while waiting for you.
Him: Well, thats fine, but my network connection doesnt work.
Me: Yes it does.
Him: No it doesnt.
Me: Then how am I transferring this file via FTP (at 88Mbit/sec, no less)?
Him: I dont know, maybe you forgot to clear your Temporary Internet folder.
Me: But I'm FTPing through the command line, and the destination folder isnt anywhere near the Temporary Internet Files fodler.
Him: Look, are you going to fix my connections or not?
Me: They're fixed!
Him: *plugs in his PC* nope, not working.
Me: *speaking very verrrrrrrrrry slowly* have you altered these three PCs in any way from the other 30-odd computers in this room?
Him: Yes, I uninstalled AutoCAD and put them on a seperate domain I created.
Me: When did they stop working?
Him: Right after I did that, the network connection went bad. Why the hell cant you guys keep this frigging network running? All you've got to do is plug it in!
Me: *At this point I'm wondering how long a prison sentence I'd get for strangling him with a Cat5e cable* And you see no correlation?
Him: Great, you guys screw up the network, and now you are thinking might be my fault?
Me: No, I'm not thinking it might be your fault, actually I'm pretty sure it is...

Mixed in there somewhere was him requesting I go to the patch panel, unplug the patch cable coming from where jack A is on the patch panel to the switch, and then plug the cable back in so that jack A and jack B are joined by the patch cable at the panel. Because this will at least let jack B access the network, according to him. And no, I didnt screw up the request, I made him draw me a f***ing picture so that I knew what he was saying, because I kept trying to interpret his ramblings (which frequently made use of highly technical words, such as "it", "that thingie in the rack", and "how would I know what it is called?") in such a way that the jacks in the doghouse made an electrical connection to our switch in the data closet.

Two days later he asked that the problem ticket be closed, because right after he re-ghosted the PCs, the network connection started working again.
Click to expand...


Dude, Dont argue with morons. Just confirm it works, walk away and close the ticket.
 
Originally posted by: Citrix
Dude, Dont argue with morons. Just confirm it works, walk away and close the ticket.
Click to expand...

Thats what I did the first time. Then it got re-opened, because this guy runs the lab, and thus has an account with which he can re-open the ticket and/or annoy me in other ways. The argument had to take place at some point, and better sooner than later.
 
Been there done that maaaaany times 🙁

In fact, this guy I know who runs is own computer store would ask me stupid questions like that ALL the time.


Sysadmin
 
I've only called tech support once.. and he was as stumped as I was. No sound out of the speakers when I used the CD player. But, sound for anything else. The problem was so "obvious" that we were both wrong. "yes, I have the case open. Yes, the cable is connecting the CD-player to the sound card. Yes, I even tried replacing the cable. Yes, I opened volume control, nothing is muted. Sure, hang on a second while I plug the headphones into to audio out jack on the CD-Rom. WTF? Who plugged a microphone into the headphone jack on the back of my computer? Sorry to bother you."
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
I've only called tech support once.. and he was as stumped as I was. No sound out of the speakers when I used the CD player. But, sound for anything else. The problem was so "obvious" that we were both wrong. "yes, I have the case open. Yes, the cable is connecting the CD-player to the sound card. Yes, I even tried replacing the cable. Yes, I opened volume control, nothing is muted. Sure, hang on a second while I plug the headphones into to audio out jack on the CD-Rom. WTF? Who plugged a microphone into the headphone jack on the back of my computer? Sorry to bother you."
Click to expand...

PWNED. I'm sure the guy got a smile out of that one. Someone non-stupid that actually made an entertaining mistake.
 
Originally posted by: Fritzo

What was that, 3....4 steps? This is why instructions are not printed on toilet paper...people would not be able to read them and figure it out.

:disgust:
Click to expand...

muahhaha
 
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