Things I hate about computer users....

[CraigRT]

4. If you call the nice people on a support line, please call about something they're supposed to fix. Stop calling your Internet provider because your printer won't work. Stop calling your computer manufacturer because your $10 web cam won't install...enough already!

my biggest peeve of all... picking up my phone and someone wants help on something that in no way relates to me... and even worse, when they think we should fix the problem even after they have been told its not our responsibility... LAME.

 

[Pilsnerpete]

Originally posted by: Mookow
I had an argument with a guy who runs a lab at my university. I'm a network tech, he calls because he has a network issue. So I drop by, check the three jacks that "arent working", they work just fine. I leave him some new cables, and close the call. The next day the call gets re-opened, the guy asks that he be present when the techs come out to check it. So fine, I show up, he decides to screw with me and make me wait till I am packing up to leave (15+ minutes elapsed) before he comes out of his office. However, I have spent this time running a continous network ping on a server from my laptop, through one of these "inoperative" jacks.

Him: My network connections dont work (by "connections he means 3 computers next to each other out of a 30+ PC lab).
Me: *has already plugged in my laptop, and been pinging a server* Yes they do.
Him: No they dont.
Me: Yes, they do, I can ping servers, I've been pinging one for about 15 minutes while waiting for you.
Him: Well, thats fine, but my network connection doesnt work.
Me: Yes it does.
Him: No it doesnt.
Me: Then how am I transferring this file via FTP (at 88Mbit/sec, no less)?
Him: I dont know, maybe you forgot to clear your Temporary Internet folder.
Me: But I'm FTPing through the command line, and the destination folder isnt anywhere near the Temporary Internet Files fodler.
Him: Look, are you going to fix my connections or not?
Me: They're fixed!
Him: *plugs in his PC* nope, not working.
Me: *speaking very verrrrrrrrrry slowly* have you altered these three PCs in any way from the other 30-odd computers in this room?
Him: Yes, I uninstalled AutoCAD and put them on a seperate domain I created.
Me: When did they stop working?
Him: Right after I did that, the network connection went bad. Why the hell cant you guys keep this frigging network running? All you've got to do is plug it in!
Me: *At this point I'm wondering how long a prison sentence I'd get for strangling him with a Cat5e cable* And you see no correlation?
Him: Great, you guys screw up the network, and now you are thinking might be my fault?
Me: No, I'm not thinking it might be your fault, actually I'm pretty sure it is...

Mixed in there somewhere was him requesting I go to the patch panel, unplug the patch cable coming from where jack A is on the patch panel to the switch, and then plug the cable back in so that jack A and jack B are joined by the patch cable at the panel. Because this will at least let jack B access the network, according to him. And no, I didnt screw up the request, I made him draw me a f***ing picture so that I knew what he was saying, because I kept trying to interpret his ramblings (which frequently made use of highly technical words, such as "it", "that thingie in the rack", and "how would I know what it is called?") in such a way that the jacks in the doghouse made an electrical connection to our switch in the data closet.

Two days later he asked that the problem ticket be closed, because right after he re-ghosted the PCs, the network connection started working again.

Look at the bright side...at least you didn't have to ghost the pc's for him.

 

[IcemanJer]

This is why I got out of user support 2 years ago.

 

[prvteye2003]

That's how the world works man. Not everybody knows computers. If you don't like it or can't stand the heat, get another job. Sounds like you need a vacation.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

 

[Kaervak]

The only thing that really annoys me is when someone e-mails me a forward of a forward of a forward of a forward ectera ectera. If I have to open ten e-mails just to get to the message it's not worth the annoyance. Every time I get one, I fight the urge to reply to them with a virus.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

 

[shenaniganz]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

Lol, as in: "I bought 2 boxen of donuts?"

😉

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

I agree that case isn't the best, but it is better than CPU. Chassis is probably the best word to use. I just get annoyed when 10 minutes into a conversation I figure out that when he says "My CPU isn't working/running", he really means his whole computer.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: shenaniganz

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

Lol, as in: "I bought 2 boxen of donuts?"

😉

The non-standard plural form is used for the explicit purpose of differntiating from packing materials.

So it would be "I bought 2 boxes of donuts" as opposed to "It's time to fire up teh boxen"

 

[nan0bug]

The worst thing for me was when I worked at mindspring (and later earthlink) technical support. This was right smack in the middle of the big dot.com boom when everyone wanted a job with computers and actually believed that by just getting an MCSE they could make $75k a year.

Him: Yeah, I'm calling because your network is all messed up
Me: Ok, can I have your username please?
Him: That wont be necessary, I'm not having a problem logging in, I just can't connect to any web pages.
Me: Ok, but I still need your username so I can start logging the call in case you need to call back.
Him: <gives username with the trademark impatient sigh>
Me: Ok, sir, what I need you to do is go to control panel... network connections.. blah blah blah
Him: Look, I'm telling you the problem has to be on your end. My computer was working fine until this morning, and I didn't change anything. There is no possible way it can be on my end. (by now hes getting angry)
Me: Yes, that could be the case, in fact I'm going to start checking on that now. However, just for the sake of covering all the bases I need to take a look at your network settings..
Him: Listen, I'm an MCSE, I know what I'm talking about
Me: Sir, I have a GED. I deal with people who have the exact same problem as you at least 5 times a day, and in the past 2 years I have worked here the problem has never been on our end. I am here to help you solve your problem, but in order to do that I need you to follow my instructions, no matter how much you think they will not work.
Him: Ok, well I'm telling you that I know the problem is not on my end. My computer worked yesterday when I turned it off. I didn't change anything. This morning I turned it on, and it doesn't work. How could the problem be on my end? Can you just log into your little computer there and check and see if there's any network issues going on in <his area>
Me: Ok, I'm looking now...... <put him on hold, make jerking off signal to co-worker>.... nope, I'm sorry sir but our network is working perfectly. I would be happy to help you sort this problem out, if you will please open your network settings...
Him: You are useless
Me: Ok, I'll leave you to your MCSE books. Keep studying, maybe they will help you figure the problem out. I'm going to terminate this call now because I have people on hold who are actually interested in my help. I have marked your record as being difficult on the phone, so it may be in your best interest to be a little nicer to the next support representative you speak to, unless you like sitting on hold for hours on end. Have a good day, and good luck with your problem! <Hang up. Bang head on desk for about 10 mins.>

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

I agree that case isn't the best, but it is better than CPU. Chassis is probably the best word to use. I just get annoyed when 10 minutes into a conversation I figure out that when he says "My CPU isn't working/running", he really means his whole computer.

Personally, I find the term "computer" easiest to use when conversing with commoners. Most people actually know what the monitor, keyboard, mouse and speakers are and differentiate these from the rest of the package.

 

[Ketteringo]

Quite a funny thread 🙂 Great stories!

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Reminds me of some caller to the Kim Komando show (I was working a rare day-shift, and there was nothing else on the radio at the time). An elderly woman called in, said she got a mysterious e-mail from someone saying that they thought her computer was infected with a virus and was sending out virus-ridden e-mails to people. She said she deleted the e-mails because she had heard those types of e-mails "trick you into going to porn sites."

She insisted that she couldn't have a virus, because she ran ScanDisk frequently to check for them.

 

[shenaniganz]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: shenaniganz

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

Lol, as in: "I bought 2 boxen of donuts?"

😉

The non-standard plural form is used for the explicit purpose of differntiating from packing materials.

So it would be "I bought 2 boxes of donuts" as opposed to "It's time to fire up teh boxen"

Oh. I was referring to this.

 

[DaWhim]

anyone remember the old video about tech support? 😀
I literally crapped my pants watching that video

 

[bigalt]

christ, you tech support monkeys wouldn't have jobs if people didn't call all day with stupid questions. i bet the indians don't complain when they get stupid calls.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: bigalt
christ, you tech support monkeys wouldn't have jobs if people didn't call all day with stupid questions. i bet the indians don't complain when they get stupid calls.

Birdiie Num Num!

 

[JulesMaximus]

Pretty funny read.

Tell them it's a keyboard driver error and hang up on them.

Seriously though, it's got to be very frustrating at times to do that job. Hope you get paid well for it or at least gain the knowledge to help you procure a better position.

 

[trmiv]

I do support for a company that makes lobby security software. I get a lot of stupid tech calls, too many to list. I don't mind when an admin or some other IT person calls, that's fine. They always know what they are doing, but are unfamiliar with our software, and just need some help. It's when the ditzy receptionist takes it upon herself to call support, and I end up having to do a 15 minute "Intro to Windows" to get her to even know how to look at the settings I need to know to help her. That's why we now try to establish a firm contact person with a company when they purchase a support contract .

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Pretty funny read.

Tell them it's a keyboard driver error and hang up on them.

Seriously though, it's got to be very frustrating at times to do that job. Hope you get paid well for it or at least gain the knowledge to help you procure a better position.

I need much better pay... know of any support jobs opening? 🙂

 

[murphy55d]

I have a co-worker who claims his "buddy" can install a P4 into his P1 motherboard for him. He's going to do it for him pretty soon.

He also buys blank DVDs at Walmart and wonders why his burner doesn't burn right.

 

[dude8604]

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/ background popup warning...

Customer: "When my computer boots up, all I get is a black screen that says, 'boot2/'."
Tech Support: "What operating system are you using?"
Customer: "I'm using Windows 98 and NT 4.0."
Tech Support: "Ok, I'm the Mac tech. The Windows tech is gone, but I can try to help you."
Customer: "Ok, what should I do? I've reformatted the hard drive and have fresh installs of both operating systems."
Tech Support: "Sir, have you put any cheese or mustard in your a drive?"
Customer: "What? Did you just ask me if I put cheese or mustard in my floppy drive?"
Tech Support: "Yeah, we've had that happen a lot lately."
Customer: (staring blankly at roommate, who was laughing uncontrollably on the floor) "I think I'll wait for the PC tech to get back. Thanks for the help." (click)

 

[JulesMaximus]

I hate it when you ask someone how much memory they have and they say 40GB or you ask them how full their hard disk is and they say they have plenty of memory.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: DeathByAnts
The next person to call the tower/case/chassis a "CPU" gets decked!!

Quite frankly, there isn't much else to call the damned thing. Case refers to the outer shell. Tower doesn't really apply well to some systems (Particularly *desktop* systems and many prefabs which resemble a low rise apartment complex more than a tower). Chassis is just a synonym for case. Us techno-people developed the term 'box' (plural: boxen) for this, but John Q would probably go get the packing material.

I wouldn't mind CPU, but here's a story about someone calling their computer a hard drive:

One time I worked IT for a large US automotive parts manufacturer and one of the executive secretaries called saying their hard drive went out, and the CEO needed the computer by Friday. It was Wednesday. We called Dell and they overnighted us a new hard drive. Went over there Thursday night, found out that by hard drive, she meant the whole computer was not working. Then, on top of that, it turned out that a file from her filthy desk had fallen behind her computer and turned off the power supply switch in the back. The IT head sent her a reprimand stating she was no longer allowed to "tell us what to do without proper authorization" again. 😀