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The worst thing about working in an office is the bathrooms...

A

AccruedExpenditure

Diamond Member
The worst thing about working in an office is the bathrooms. Sooner or later you're going to have to take a dump. Then you have to decide what level of cleaning (dry toilet paper wipedown, water from the skink for a wet wipedown, toilet paper/ass gasket) you're going to do and then execute the plan.

The worst, though, is if you need or want privacy. It's inevitable that the night after you drank a lot of beer and you're about to have one of those "sounds like you dumped a cup of water in the toilet" .... some one will come in.


It's actually gotten to the point where I have had show-downs with fellow bathroom goers... I'll try and wait them out, and from the lack of sound coming from next door, I assume that are doing the same. Some times when I really need to go I'll start talking smack to them in my head.

"This guy thinks he can out wait me? I hope he didn't have tacos last night"

"Oh for christ sakes, look at this wanker's shoes. What an amateur. I can't believe a guy with shoes like THAT is going to try to out wait me...what a tard

Your thoughts?
 
Always find the most remote location wit hthe least amount of stalls. Always occupy the Handicapped stall.

I will wait you out!

Some Eastern Euro lab worker was in the stall yesterday while I was pissing, lab-coat hung over the door, talking on the cell phone in I think Russian.
I squeezed a nice fart out, flushed about 12 times, turned on 3 of the sinks and crumpled about 15-paper towles while he was in there chatting away.




 
Originally posted by: Fmr12B
Always find the most remote location wit hthe least amount of stalls. Always occupy the Handicapped stall.

I will wait you out!

Some Eastern Euro lab worker was in the stall yesterday while I was pissing, lab-coat hung over the door, talking on the cell phone in I think Russian.
I squeezed a nice fart out, flushed about 12 times, turned on 3 of the sinks and crumpled about 15-paper towles while he was in there chatting away.
Click to expand...

Uhm why?
 
Originally posted by: Wanescotting
Oh, and I ALWAYS wipe the seat down before I shit. (hell I even do this at my own house)
Click to expand...

Nah, I do the toilet paper thing where you take strips of toilet paper and cover the seat.
 
As far as I'm concerned, sh!tting in corporate bathrooms should be executed like swinging for a pinata - close your eyes tight, squeeze your grip, and let loose with all your might. Who cares if anyone else is paying attention. This is your moment to shine!
 
Originally posted by: Orsorum
As far as I'm concerned, sh!tting in corporate bathrooms should be executed like swinging for a pinata - close your eyes tight, squeeze your grip, and let loose with all your might. Who cares if anyone else is paying attention. This is your moment to shine!
Click to expand...

This is signiture material, ROTFLMAO
 
OP - You are spending way too much time thinking about this. Just take a moment to be glad you're male, and let it go.
 
I love taking a dump at work. Doesn't clog up my home toilet, it's cleaned every day, I take the disabled stall high chair for the captain seating 😉
 
Originally posted by: SuperTool
I love taking a dump at work. Doesn't clog up my home toilet, it's cleaned every day, I take the disabled stall high chair for the captain seating 😉
Click to expand...

😀 Yep! No worries about clogging or anything (though I HAVE managed to clog even the super hi-pressure vacuum industrial toilets - just once.). And even if you do clog, no worries about plunging, just walk away whistling.
 
I really don't care what people think of when, how, or how long I take a dump. Last I checked, people don't give promotions and raises based on what they do or don't hear when they see your shoes and hear a big fat turd hitting the water. I don't know what kind of image-based office environments you work in, but as long as I'm doing my job as good as or better than everyone else, nothing else matters. I don't mind letting people know I'm surfing the internet on company time when my portion of a project is caught up/waiting on someone else... so I sure as hell don't mind if they can HEAR or SMELL what I had for dinner last night.

That being said... I rarely have to take a dump at work and there are only a few dozen people where I work, so chances are no one is going to be in there when I am. 😀
 
if i have to use the work facilities, no problem. we have 2 floors so i use the crapper on the 11th floor where only 1 other guy works. clean & quiet. if someone enters before i am finished, i pull a fred astaire (tap the shoe) or ruffle the newspaper, and they usually turn around and leave. we have some people that come in, check for feet, and if they see feet they just wash their hands or blow their nose and leave. i courtesy flush though, even if no one is there. poop.
 
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