The Ultimate Jokes Thread

Mar 7, 2019
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#1
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The Ultimate Joke Thread.

Lets hear everyone best!
 
Jul 20, 2001
55,175
1,847
126
#2
Why can't you go to the restroom at a Beatles concert?









There's no John.
 
Nov 22, 2008
15,264
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#4
Just because Michael Jordon was the best basketball player does not mean we do not play basketball anymore...

Here's one -

A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now completely nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!" Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..."
 
Jul 20, 2001
55,175
1,847
126
#6
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?




Breathe! Breathe!
 
Oct 12, 2009
37,473
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#7
Couple was having their 50th wedding anniversary. Young man asks the husband how he made it for 50 years.

"Well, son, on our 1st anniversary, I took my wife to Italy. I went and picked her back up last week."
 

Mai72

Diamond Member
Sep 12, 2012
8,672
237
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#8
I'm offended! :mad::mad::mad:
 

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