Demon-Xanth
Lifer
- Feb 15, 2000
- 20,551
- 2
- 81
MaxDepth
Diamond Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 8,757
- 43
- 91
Nohr
Diamond Member
To Bill Brasky! A ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!
Nohr
Diamond Member
- Jul 18, 2000
- 17,112
- 1
- 0
Bob: Let me bring you up to date on the Civic Center project..
Male Co-Worker #1: [ sniffing the air ] Did somebody step in something?
Bob: I had Ted draw these up over the weekend..
Male Co-Worker #1: Oh, come on! Doesn't anybody else smell it?
Bob: I think we've finally solved the underground garage problem..
Male Co-Worker #1: I'm sorry. I can't concentrate. Can't we do this over the phone?
Male Co-Worker #2: Yes!
[ everyone leaves the office, leaving confused ]
[ SUPER: The Next Day ]
Bob: [ notices Ass Don't Smell canister on his desk ] Ass Don't Smell? [ thinking ] Hmm.. maybe somebody's trying to tell me something..
Announcer: Scrubbing doesn't work; perfumes only cover it up; and who has the time to soak? Forget all that junk, and step up to Ass Don't Smell.
[ SUPER: A Week Later ]
Male Co-Worker #3: Hey, Bob! Congratulations on the Civic Center project!
Bob: Thanks!
Male Co-Worker #3: [ notices canister in Bob's locker ] Huh? Ass Don't Smell? But your ass doesn't smell.
Bob: [ smiling confidently ] Exactly.
Announcer: Ass Don't Smell. The name says it all. Now, in new tamper-proof package.
Male Co-Worker #1: [ sniffing the air ] Did somebody step in something?
Bob: I had Ted draw these up over the weekend..
Male Co-Worker #1: Oh, come on! Doesn't anybody else smell it?
Bob: I think we've finally solved the underground garage problem..
Male Co-Worker #1: I'm sorry. I can't concentrate. Can't we do this over the phone?
Male Co-Worker #2: Yes!
[ everyone leaves the office, leaving confused ]
[ SUPER: The Next Day ]
Bob: [ notices Ass Don't Smell canister on his desk ] Ass Don't Smell? [ thinking ] Hmm.. maybe somebody's trying to tell me something..
Announcer: Scrubbing doesn't work; perfumes only cover it up; and who has the time to soak? Forget all that junk, and step up to Ass Don't Smell.
[ SUPER: A Week Later ]
Male Co-Worker #3: Hey, Bob! Congratulations on the Civic Center project!
Bob: Thanks!
Male Co-Worker #3: [ notices canister in Bob's locker ] Huh? Ass Don't Smell? But your ass doesn't smell.
Bob: [ smiling confidently ] Exactly.
Announcer: Ass Don't Smell. The name says it all. Now, in new tamper-proof package.
No one ever gets that reference when I've used it in the past. So I've given up on it. I still like that skit... just can't ever get anyone else to admit watching SnL.
I'm too lazy to search, but, I liked the commercial w/ the bank that made change...
and the cologne commercial where the guy swims up to a dog and makes out with it...
and the cologne commercial where the guy swims up to a dog and makes out with it...
- Jul 18, 2000
- 17,112
- 1
- 0
[ SUPER: "When you do only one thing, you do it better" ]
Customer #1: I needed to take the bus, but all I had was a five-dollar bill. I stopped by First Citiwide, and they were able to give me four singles and four quarters.
[ SUPER: "At First Citiwide Change Bank, We just make change" ]
Bank Representative: We will work with the customer to give that customer the change that he or she needs. If you come to us with a twenty-dollar bill, we can give you two tens, we can give you four fives - we can give you a ten and two fives. We will work with you.
Customer #2: I went to my First Citiwide branch to change a fifty. I guess I was in kind of a hurry, and I asked for a twenty, a ten, and two fives. Their computers picked up my mistake right away, and I got the correct change.
[ SUPER: "Correct Change" ]
Bank Representative: We have been in this business a long time. With our experience, we're gonna have ideas for change combinations that probably haven't occurred to you. If you have a fifty-dollar bill, we can give you fifty singles. [ SUPER: "We can give you fifty singles" ] We can give you forty-nine singles and ten dimes. We can give you twenty-five twos. Come talk to us. [ SUPER: "We can give you twenty-five twos" ] We are not going to give you change that you don't want. If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels.. [ SUPER: "We're not going to give you two thousand nickels" ] - unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you.. the change.. equal to.. the amount of money.. that you want change for!
[ SUPER: "At First Citiwide Change Bank, Our business is making change" ]
Bank Representative: That's what we do.
Customer #1: I needed to take the bus, but all I had was a five-dollar bill. I stopped by First Citiwide, and they were able to give me four singles and four quarters.
[ SUPER: "At First Citiwide Change Bank, We just make change" ]
Bank Representative: We will work with the customer to give that customer the change that he or she needs. If you come to us with a twenty-dollar bill, we can give you two tens, we can give you four fives - we can give you a ten and two fives. We will work with you.
Customer #2: I went to my First Citiwide branch to change a fifty. I guess I was in kind of a hurry, and I asked for a twenty, a ten, and two fives. Their computers picked up my mistake right away, and I got the correct change.
[ SUPER: "Correct Change" ]
Bank Representative: We have been in this business a long time. With our experience, we're gonna have ideas for change combinations that probably haven't occurred to you. If you have a fifty-dollar bill, we can give you fifty singles. [ SUPER: "We can give you fifty singles" ] We can give you forty-nine singles and ten dimes. We can give you twenty-five twos. Come talk to us. [ SUPER: "We can give you twenty-five twos" ] We are not going to give you change that you don't want. If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels.. [ SUPER: "We're not going to give you two thousand nickels" ] - unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you.. the change.. equal to.. the amount of money.. that you want change for!
[ SUPER: "At First Citiwide Change Bank, Our business is making change" ]
Bank Representative: That's what we do.
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