So in my hypothetical, what is the sexual advance? Are you saying that telling someone you like an outfit is a sexual advance? Personally I have found many people's outfits appealing and not wanted to engage in sexual acts because of it. The same way I can like a new hairstyle. Are you saying that you believe my hypothetical would fall under sexual harassment if the woman felt it was sexual harassment?
Well, I think that it depends on what "the rulebook says." If the little scenario that you have to click on through HR training calls it sexual harassment, then it is. That's the rule. It doesn't have to make sense to you or me because the only way to apply a general rule is to make a general rule. And obviously for this situation, there needs to be a rule. It isn't going to be a perfect fit everywhere, but that isn't the point. I asked my mom about this other day and her comment was that "Those shoes look nice!" or "look nice on you!" is fine. But "Those shoes really make your legs look great!" is harassment. The explanation is that the second statement is directly objectifying the person. (i.e.: she--hell, or he--is a pair of legs more than they are a person). Again, it's better to take this up with HR.
You are arguing that if someone is offended, it should be considered an infraction. Would you mind fleshing out this idea? If person B is offended by a comment that has no sexual intent, are you saying that it does not matter and that person B established the infraction by its feelings? If so, that falls greatly outside of objective and falls right into subjective.
Not exactly; I'm arguing that while the person who is offended has the greater stake and say over what they consider offensive, what ultimately matters is what the rules dictate in the environment where the offense occurs. This means that even if the person
isn't offended, the comment/advance could certainly be construed as harassment because the rules establish it as such, and this is by necessity. I actually believe it is reasonable for other people to bring the incident to light, even if the the individual does not want to accuse the offender. Rules really only work when they are equally enforced. I know this sounds unfair, but while it does make me uncomfortable, I think it is the only way to properly enforce these boundaries.
I guess we agree, that anarchy would be bad. That said, I think its also a bad idea to establish fault based on person B's feelings. Just because someone feels like there was an injustice does not and should not qualify fault. I know many people that feel that two men kissing in public should be a crime because of how it makes them feel. Just because they feel its wrong does not mean it is or should be wrong.
Also, thanks for actually responding and not posting word vomit. It is honestly appreciated.
I don't think fault should be entirely dependent upon the offendee's feelings, but obviously this would be where the greatest weight is placed. I think it only fair to weigh the specifics of the situation, at the time, and how it was handled then and later. Honestly, I don't want to begin to establish where the ultimate burden of proof lies, because this does make it difficult for the accused in a situation where a consensual situation can ultimately be turned around against them, and indefensible due to lack of evidence. Likewise, it is not circumstantially the accuser's responsibility to report harassment or assault at the instance that it occurs due to established and well-documented power dynamics that are often at play in these situations. ...responsibility may be the wrong word. What I mean is that it is perfectly understandable that someone wouldn't immediately report and this should never be held against them. And of course, we already know that in many of these cases, these women aren't really waiting to come out well after the fact. Their complaints have simply fallen on deaf ears for a very long time. Accusing them of doing such, in light of the known history of their abuse is rather shameful, imo. (likewise the repugnant slut shaming that I've seen here, particularly from the left, wrg to Franken's initial accuser)