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the office Crock Pot

meltdown75

meltdown75

Lifer
To the morning office crappers:

It is beyond me to care that you have to shit every morning at the office. Frankly I am happy for your regularity as I'm sure it provides much routine and peace of mind to you and your bowels.

I do think it's a little weird that you apparently sit on your fresh crap for 15 minutes while you read the paper. I know how shitting works, pal. You sit down and unless you're constipated, something drops within the first 2 minutes.

Now I know maybe it's not the most common thing - maybe you have never even heard of it - but give yourself and others a little courtesy flush. Flush that bad boy down and continue reading through the sports section AT YOUR OWN PACE - take your time! Sit on that crapper for 20 minutes and let your shit dry to your ass cheeks so it won't all wipe off cleanly for all I care. But DUDE, for the sake of everyone that has to enter the john during your morning ritual, flush the main culprit down because our EYES ARE WATERING the stench is so bad. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EAT ANYWAY?!

You don't need to sit on the fricking thing like you're hatching an egg... or do you think the of toilet as a shit crock pot? You slow cooking that turd? Surely you can feel the subtle heat from the bowl rising up for a moment after you drop it. As much as you enjoy your own flavour, remember that you can enjoy it at home, without interruption, any time you are away from work! We don't pay for the water here. FLUSH AWAY.

that is all. enjoy your day and please enjoy shit-hotboxing your bathroom and incubating in your own shit smell at home.

OP, further down in this thread, you get angry and defensive, taking your little rant a bit too seriously. Stop.

If our new relaxed rules protect pooping threads, then they certainly protect pointed criticism of same.

Getting into a pissing match about your pooping thread? That's one unlovely mixing of metaphors. 🙁

Perknose
AnandTech ESM

 
I will never understand the whole reading in the bathroom thing. I go in I do my thing and I get out, 2-3 minutes tops.
 
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
 
When I work a full day at the office, I start drinking coffee at about 6:15am and crap by 7:30am while reading the Wall Street Journal. I do courtesy flush, even if I am flying solo in the restroom as not to disturb those after me with my foul shit odors.
 
Originally posted by: SirStev0
I remember when threads had standards.
Click to expand...

Oh shut up. You were here less than a year before me. Only 1999 and 2000 members can post such elitist remarks.
 
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
 
Originally posted by: Safeway
Originally posted by: SirStev0
I remember when threads had standards.
Click to expand...

Oh shut up. You were here less than a year before me. Only 1999 and 2000 members can post such elitist remarks.
Click to expand...

I don't ever remember when threads here had standards.
 
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
Click to expand...

The flush may just be somewhat of a placebo effect though, you feel its doing what you want it to do, so therefore it happens in your mind. In reality, you may just become accustomed to the odor because you were sitting there. Similar to how you can walk into a house from outside where a great feast is being prepared and be overcome with an insatiable urge to devour the food thanks to the delectable aroma then 10 minutes after being in said house, not even notice how great it truly smells.
 
Originally posted by: SirStev0
I remember when threads had standards.
Click to expand...

this place had standards? when!?



anyway when i take a duece i really don't care what other people think. if i sit on the pot for 15 minutes then that is what it takes. if you don't like it then don't sit in there with me.
 
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
Click to expand...

Think about this, though. Flushing will help if you shit a floater. Or, if you shit so much it piles up above the surface of the water. In either of those cases, the shit is wrecking havoc for quite some time in the case of a toilet sitter.
 
Originally posted by: waggy
Originally posted by: SirStev0
I remember when threads had standards.
Click to expand...

this place had standards? when!?



anyway when i take a duece i really don't care what other people think. if i sit on the pot for 15 minutes then that is what it takes. if you don't like it then don't sit in there with me.
Click to expand...

Your 31,000th post was about you shitting.
 
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...

Think about how a drain works in a sink. Water is trapped in a loop to prevent poisonous sewer gases from escaping through the pipes. That seems to indicate that water should prevent "stink particles" from escaping from submerged turds.

However, I have seen and used some low flow toilets with low water levels where it was easy for the the mountain to become an island where a courtesy flush would likely help. (It did stink way worse then usual while using this particular type of toilet, IIRC)
 
Originally posted by: Safeway
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
Click to expand...

Think about this, though. Flushing will help if you shit a floater. Or, if you shit so much it piles up above the surface of the water. In either of those cases, the shit is wrecking havoc for quite some time in the case of a toilet sitter.
Click to expand...

I'd have to agree with you there, however there's no way in telling that the individual in question has provided either of those specimens... unless of course you are willing to be the scientist in charge of said investigation.
 
Originally posted by: Modeps
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
Click to expand...

The flush may just be somewhat of a placebo effect though, you feel its doing what you want it to do, so therefore it happens in your mind. In reality, you may just become accustomed to the odor because you were sitting there. Similar to how you can walk into a house from outside where a great feast is being prepared and be overcome with an insatiable urge to devour the food thanks to the delectable aroma then 10 minutes after being in said house, not even notice how great it truly smells.
Click to expand...
There's something there, for sure. It is hard for the emitter of the deuce to truly guage the ripeness and nosehair-burning quality of his/her product, but consider this... at the office, most (hopefully most) people wipe down the lid before they sit down. This creates a pillow for the deuce to rest on. This may be one of the factors inherent in some situations. The Charmin Floatilla Effect is a variable that must be considered.
 
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
Click to expand...

The flush may just be somewhat of a placebo effect though, you feel its doing what you want it to do, so therefore it happens in your mind. In reality, you may just become accustomed to the odor because you were sitting there. Similar to how you can walk into a house from outside where a great feast is being prepared and be overcome with an insatiable urge to devour the food thanks to the delectable aroma then 10 minutes after being in said house, not even notice how great it truly smells.
Click to expand...
There's something there, for sure. It is hard for the emitter of the deuce to truly guage the ripeness and nosehair-burning quality of his/her product, but consider this... at the office, most (hopefully most) people wipe down the lid before they sit down. This creates a pillow for the deuce to rest on. This may be one of the factors inherent in some situations. The Charmin Floatilla Effect is a variable that must be considered.
Click to expand...

The best way to deal with this, without actually needing to observe and write down yourself, is to get some device that measures the stink in some numeric way and leave it in a stall with a clipboard for other interested parties to fill out. This could be an issue in a multi-stall environment though, so you would need to devise a way to compare readings from multiple devices.
 
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
Originally posted by: meltdown75
Originally posted by: Modeps
I have yet to see any scientific evidence that the courtesy flush will actually help out the situation at all. The fecal material spends time in air before landing in its watery resting place and you expel gaseousness as well. I believe that in order for the water to be saturated with massive odors or give off fragrance, the fecal material must either be A) Floaters or B) soaking for quite some time... more than 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, you cannot scientifically prove either of these theories because it would require people watching others defecate with some sort of "scentometer"
Click to expand...
If I flush when I drop the main big deuce, even knowing that I am going to have some followers after - there is no doubt in my mind that I am improving the odds that my coworker doesn't walk into a Shit Cloud when he comes in to drain it. I don't think the big guy takes long to emit his odour signature... he doesn't need to ferment. It's plop and stink within a few minutes, depending on the severity of the stench. IMHO
Click to expand...

The flush may just be somewhat of a placebo effect though, you feel its doing what you want it to do, so therefore it happens in your mind. In reality, you may just become accustomed to the odor because you were sitting there. Similar to how you can walk into a house from outside where a great feast is being prepared and be overcome with an insatiable urge to devour the food thanks to the delectable aroma then 10 minutes after being in said house, not even notice how great it truly smells.
Click to expand...
There's something there, for sure. It is hard for the emitter of the deuce to truly guage the ripeness and nosehair-burning quality of his/her product, but consider this... at the office, most (hopefully most) people wipe down the lid before they sit down. This creates a pillow for the deuce to rest on. This may be one of the factors inherent in some situations. The Charmin Floatilla Effect is a variable that must be considered.
Click to expand...

I have witnessed this phenomena first hand. The wipe down paper now floating in the toilet basin creates a make-shift raft for the shit to rest and relax on. Vaporization of the shit takes place at uncanny rates. I can tell if this effect takes place based solely on the smell. When I lift myself to verify my hypothesis, the effect magnifies and my raising ass creates a pressure differential, which pulls up the toilet air. When I sit back down after verifying my hypothesis, my head and nose are now at ass level.
 
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