A nice, warm KFC log beats the Fleshlight experience every time.
It's not just the local KFC that is bad in this region, although they are the worst.
It really comes down to what workers these companies can hire, and they are pretty bad down here. I've lived in a lot of places, and there is just a different "I'll get to it when I want to" "And I only want to the minimum amount of work not to get fired" culture down here in NC.
Hell, I ordered Papa Johns pizza once, and the delivery driver locked his keys in his car in my driveway. He blocked our cars in our garage, and it took like 3 hours for someone to show up and open up his car (even though this Papa Johns is like 5 minutes from our house). It was cold outside, so he sat on our couch the entire time and he was a really weird dude. In fact, he had a cast on his right arm and we asked what happened............he told us he broke it because he got mad and punched his car a few weeks ago. Seriously.