The many ways to die in Florida

Page 3 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

Jeeebus

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2006
9,179
897
126
East coast n00b. Tampa is west coast. And with a name like Butch, are you sure you want to see the pics? :p

And all those shark attacks are laughable by Aussie standards. Sutures, maybe some surgery to fix tendons or ligaments; just a good story to tell. And sometime it is far more likely bluefish than sharks. They are hardcore in a feeding frenzy. When someone gets nipped in the colder months, I lean toward them being the culprit. But the poor sharks are always maligned as the bad guy. I have surfed for over 40 years here, worse thing I've experienced is red tide and getting stung by man-o-war.

We were out night fishing on the boat a few years ago when those 2 kids from Jupiter had taken off on a boat and disappeared. The whole night we were battling with bull sharks etc. grabbing everything we caught while simultaneously hearing the Coast Guard broadcasts to look for these kids in the water. Was fairly eerie.

Doesn't affect my love of the water though. No shortage of sharks around, but thus far haven't been devoured. Had my fair share of jellyfish stings, crab bites, stingray stings, etc. though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DAPUNISHER

DAPUNISHER

Super Moderator CPU Forum Mod and Elite Member
Super Moderator
Aug 22, 2001
29,561
24,422
146
We were out night fishing on the boat a few years ago when those 2 kids from Jupiter had taken off on a boat and disappeared. The whole night we were battling with bull sharks etc. grabbing everything we caught while simultaneously hearing the Coast Guard broadcasts to look for these kids in the water. Was fairly eerie.

Doesn't affect my love of the water though. No shortage of sharks around, but thus far haven't been devoured. Had my fair share of jellyfish stings, crab bites, stingray stings, etc. though.
Even when I gigged Flounder a lot when I was young, never got hit by a ray. Had friends get tagged, but they were tards and deserved it.

Water moccasin/cottonmouth is the real mvp. I have barely missed getting tagged a few times in my life. Bunny hopped one that looked like a branch on the trail, and he almost got me in the thigh. A couple of near misses cast netting, and once bow fishing mullet.
 

Spacehead

Lifer
Jun 2, 2002
13,067
9,858
136
I saw a joke on Reddit yesterday begging people to help out in the Global Warming situation. Their position was as ocean levels rise Floridians will be forced to move elsewhere and God forbid no one wants that. So, I am advocating we build a Florida wall to keep them out of the other states. :p This would be a good way to gid rid of them ... under water and all.
Florida Man From Atlantis :eek:
 

kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
28,745
40,187
136
It has been a fairly mild summer here with lots of rain. Meanwhile the Pacific northwest has endured heat much higher than here on the space coast. Where I live would rule completely if not for hurricanes and republicans. Winters are super nice weather, spring and fall are nice weather, summer is now better or at least no worse than most of the U.S. now. RIght now it is sunny 84f/29c with a nice breeze. I will hit the heavy bag here in little bit under my big oak tree. It is gorgeous just humid is all. But I am used to it so not a bother, and I enjoy a good sweat.

Surf is still up from Fred, so will hit this evening when the tide is right. Florida is awesome; there is a reason besides no state tax, that so many move here. Never gets really cold, rarely gets really hot here on the coast. Hurricanes are the big minus, and MAGA idiots that can't even help with a pandemic. Other than that, it's fucking paradise. I have lived here my whole life, but may move to the mountains to die. Barely ducked 2 dierect hits by cat4 plus hurricanes in the last 5yrs, and our luck is going to run out at some point.

I do miss The Keys, back before it went all Daytona, but having done my own relocation to the (Green) mountains have to say not dealing with earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, forest fires or Florida man/MAGAts is a type of paradise I've def grown accustomed to. Covid response up here just puts all that win in bold too. I will admit that I don't have the tolerance for heat and humidity I did when I was younger. I'd much rather throw on a fleece and deal with the occasional winter storm than spend months sitting in ball soup. IMO winters up here have mellowed substantially since the early 90s.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DAPUNISHER

kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
28,745
40,187
136
East coast n00b. Tampa is west coast. And with a name like Butch, are you sure you want to see the pics? :p

And all those shark attacks are laughable by Aussie standards. Sutures, maybe some surgery to fix tendons or ligaments; just a good story to tell. And sometime it is far more likely bluefish than sharks. They are hardcore in a feeding frenzy. When someone gets nipped in the colder months, I lean toward them being the culprit. But the poor sharks are always maligned as the bad guy. I have surfed for over 40 years here, worse thing I've experienced is red tide and getting stung by man-o-war.

Don't miss those either. Yeah bluefish are sketchy, like barracuda. Ditch that jewelry folks.

Speaking of the guys in graysuits, my mom just took visiting family out on a whale watching trip a couple weeks ago (Eastport, Maine). Big shark killed and ate a seal 30-40ft away from the boat, they all had a front row seat. This stuff has been on TV for decades, and everyone in the clip I was sent was losing their damn minds, some pretty much retching. Heard it was the one day they didn't all convene for dinner, no one was hungry after that lol
 
  • Haha
Reactions: DAPUNISHER

DAPUNISHER

Super Moderator CPU Forum Mod and Elite Member
Super Moderator
Aug 22, 2001
29,561
24,422
146
I do miss The Keys, back before it went all Daytona, but having done my own relocation to the (Green) mountains have to say not dealing with earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, forest fires or Florida man/MAGAts is a type of paradise I've def grown accustomed to. Covid response up here just puts all that win in bold too. I will admit that I don't have the tolerance for heat and humidity I did when I was younger. I'd much rather throw on a fleece and deal with the occasional winter storm than spend months sitting in ball soup. IMO winters up here have mellowed substantially since the early 90s.
Every time I spend a couple of weeks in the mountains, I don't want to come home.

Never had an earthquake here worth mentioning. The rest is legit. But since the great fires of the 90s, it has not been too bad on those either. They have gotten much better at controlled burns and forest management.

I am still athletic and active, so love the weather here. And most of the year is outstanding. Hurricanes are what's going to drive me out. Cat 1 and 2 are fine, but we are starting to get monsters more and more regularly threatening direct hits. I have no desire to find out what winds that exceed the rating of my shingles -130mph are like.
 

kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
28,745
40,187
136
My daughter and her family live in Jacksonville I worry about them constantly since I saw the video of two alligators easily climbing a huge chain link fence 😱

You see the alligator vid I put in the Hume thread a few days ago?
 

SKORPI0

Lifer
Jan 18, 2000
18,429
2,357
136
Just one of the possible solutions to be safe.

florida-bugs-bunny.gif
 
Last edited:

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,136
30,085
146
I remember the "bath salt man" incident. Quite the way to end oneself(and almost end another).


And another different, younger dude: https://www.syracuse.com/us-news/2016/08/florida_zombie_attack_austin_harrouff_flakka.html

Oh yes, I remember those days. We were much more innocent, then. A bit worried, jokingly, about "Are there really zombies in Florida? lol forreal?"

To today, actual serious things: "Like, why is there an actual Nazi army, backed by 70 million people in the US, attacking the US government right now, and why aren't we taking that more seriously?"
 

lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
57,981
8,219
126
I'd kill the shit out anyone that tried to make me live in FL. It might not be the last place in the country I'd want to live, but it easily fits in the bottom five.
 

MrSquished

Lifer
Jan 14, 2013
23,081
21,203
136
The problem with dying in Florida is that you were in Florida in the first place for long enough to die there.
 
Last edited:

Oyeve

Lifer
Oct 18, 1999
21,995
854
126
You forgot about "red tide". Last time I was at Fort Lauderdale, a coupla years ago, about a dozen peeps died. We did not go in any water at that time. Hell, I was nervous taking a shower at the beach hotel!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Torn Mind

Jeeebus

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2006
9,179
897
126
You forgot about "red tide". Last time I was at Fort Lauderdale, a coupla years ago, about a dozen peeps died. We did not go in any water at that time. Hell, I was nervous taking a shower at the beach hotel!

umm... no.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DAPUNISHER

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,562
1,741
126
Yeah, I remember sitting near the front on a bus in that part of the world, and the driver kept visibly starting to fall asleep. A (local resident) family-member of mine who was sitting next to me kept having to prod him to wake him up, hence we managed to get to the destination still alive.

Ha. That's crazy. I was on a double decker bus with my girlfriend on our way to the borders of Thai/Cambodia. I had to update my passport. The bus had a huge crack in the windshield that was covered by electrical tape. The tires looked worn. I was thinking oh well. This is the end, lol. The bus driver was driving eratically. We made it to the border. Huge line, but this guy who was a scammer got me thru the front of the line. Of course, I had to pay him thai baht on the side, and when we got to the Cambodian border there were two Thai soldiers with rifles. Had to pay these clowns as well. Got my passport renewed and ate dinner in this little dive while a pack a roaming dogs were coming in and out of the shop. Thais don't put their dogs on leashes. We got a ride back to the apartment in Bangkok in a van that was driven by a man who drove very fast. Got stopped by 2 Thai soliders who wanted to check my passport. I finally made it home alive. Good times. Good times.
 

[DHT]Osiris

Lifer
Dec 15, 2015
15,285
13,581
146
You forgot about "red tide". Last time I was at Fort Lauderdale, a coupla years ago, about a dozen peeps died. We did not go in any water at that time. Hell, I was nervous taking a shower at the beach hotel!
If by 'dozen peeps' you meant 'a few dozen manatees' then yes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DAPUNISHER

Torn Mind

Lifer
Nov 25, 2012
11,897
2,716
136
  • Haha
Reactions: DAPUNISHER

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
25,134
2,446
126
If I had to choose how to die in Florida, dying in an epic speed boat wreck while racing with Cleetus McFarland would be the best way to go.

Hey... at least I'll be famous for going out in true "Florida Man" style with a YouTube legend! Hell yeah, brother!
 
Last edited:

DAPUNISHER

Super Moderator CPU Forum Mod and Elite Member
Super Moderator
Aug 22, 2001
29,561
24,422
146
Managed to survive this hellscape for one more day. Despite dangling as shark bait, and being in traffic with heavily medicated wrinklies. I did take some more pictures of beach access signs for you.

IMG_20210916_143032.jpgIMG_20210916_143039.jpg
 

DAPUNISHER

Super Moderator CPU Forum Mod and Elite Member
Super Moderator
Aug 22, 2001
29,561
24,422
146
Yes it is just horrible here, stay away!

IMG_20210916_143115.jpgIMG_20210916_143126.jpg
 

DAPUNISHER

Super Moderator CPU Forum Mod and Elite Member
Super Moderator
Aug 22, 2001
29,561
24,422
146
The worst part is having to watch invest 95L right now. I don't like the spaghetti models so far. Hopefully it falls apart or heads more north.