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The day the deer struck back

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Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Step 3: starting just below the breast bone, slice a very shallow hole, just large enough to get 2 fingers through. Insert fingers, use them as a guide for the knife to go down the rest of the way toward the penis without puncturing any internal organs
Step 4: carefully cut around the penis & testes
Step 5: continue cutting back toward anus. Cut completely around the anus. Continue cutting any connective tissue until you can pull the anus & a few inches of the colon out of the back of the deer. Make sure that section of the colon is emptied (squeeze it out if need be.)
Step 6: cut through diaphragm, all the way down the sides.
Step 7: Cut up through sternum.
Step 8: Tip deer on its side, and carefully pull out the stomach, intestines, etc. & dump out all the blood
Step 9: if you want it, save the liver
Step 10: reach up under the sternum as far as you possibly can toward the throat. Grab the esophagus & windpipe. Sever them with your knife. Might want to take your jacket off at this point, since you're going to be in well past your elbow.
Step 11: Rip out the lungs & heart. Save the heart.
Step 12: Pound knife into bone between hind legs, break the bone
Step 13: very carefully remove the urine sack, & cut loose anything else holding the penis & testes to the animal. Toss over shoulder for good luck. (just kidding.)
Step 14: Drag animal that's has no lungs, no heart, no liver, no stomach, no intestines, no gall bladder, pancreas, colon, kidneys, or any of those other yucky bits remaining in him, back to the truck.
Step 15: Have buddy help you lift it into the truck.

If it comes back to life at this point, you've seriously fucked something up.
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Step 3: starting just below the breast bone, slice a very shallow hole, just large enough to get 2 fingers through. Insert fingers, use them as a guide for the knife to go down the rest of the way toward the penis without puncturing any internal organs
Step 4: carefully cut around the penis & testes
Step 5: continue cutting back toward anus. Cut completely around the anus. Continue cutting any connective tissue until you can pull the anus & a few inches of the colon out of the back of the deer. Make sure that section of the colon is emptied (squeeze it out if need be.)
Step 6: cut through diaphragm, all the way down the sides.
Step 7: Cut up through sternum.
Step 8: Tip deer on its side, and carefully pull out the stomach, intestines, etc. & dump out all the blood
Step 9: if you want it, save the liver
Step 10: reach up under the sternum as far as you possibly can toward the throat. Grab the esophagus & windpipe. Sever them with your knife. Might want to take your jacket off at this point, since you're going to be in well past your elbow.
Step 11: Rip out the lungs & heart. Save the heart.
Step 12: Pound knife into bone between hind legs, break the bone
Step 13: very carefully remove the urine sack, & cut loose anything else holding the penis & testes to the animal. Toss over shoulder for good luck. (just kidding.)
Step 14: Drag animal that's has no lungs, no heart, no liver, no stomach, no intestines, no gall bladder, pancreas, colon, kidneys, or any of those other yucky bits remaining in him, back to the truck.
Step 15: Have buddy help you lift it into the truck.

If it comes back to life at this point, you've seriously fucked something up.
Click to expand...

Zombie deer?
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Click to expand...

Everyone I know doesn't do anything in the woods where they kill the deer. They carry it home to do that. My brother has a kitchen outside just for this sort of thing. There is also a local meat market that will process the deer for $.



 
Wow, I've never even heard of people taking their deer out of the woods without first gutting them. You want those out ASAP to prevent the meat getting spoiled. There are plenty of deer processors around here too, but afaik, it's still expected that the guts are gone when they get to the processor.

I'm in the middle of taking care of deer #3 this season. About 6 more pounds of jerky mixed up that has to go into the dehydrator tonight, plus I have to grind up about 20 pounds of venison for summer sausage & for italian sausage. 🙁 I'm gonna be up til 1am again. But, at least, I'll be able to go out and get another deer this weekend 🙂

I won't need to be buying roasts, steaks, or hamburg for a few months 🙂 95%+ lean, too.
 
Originally posted by: dNor
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: ADDAvenger
Originally posted by: zoiks
Too bad the deer was the one who died.
Click to expand...

Even the biggest POS human is worth more than a single deer, you POS
Click to expand...

No, there are plenty of POS humans who are worth less than a single deer.
Click to expand...

I'm with this guy
Click to expand...

Same. On average, any human is worth more than a deer. However, there are some humans that aren't even worth the air they breath.
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Step 3: starting just below the breast bone, slice a very shallow hole, just large enough to get 2 fingers through. Insert fingers, use them as a guide for the knife to go down the rest of the way toward the penis without puncturing any internal organs
Step 4: carefully cut around the penis & testes
Step 5: continue cutting back toward anus. Cut completely around the anus. Continue cutting any connective tissue until you can pull the anus & a few inches of the colon out of the back of the deer. Make sure that section of the colon is emptied (squeeze it out if need be.)
Step 6: cut through diaphragm, all the way down the sides.
Step 7: Cut up through sternum.
Step 8: Tip deer on its side, and carefully pull out the stomach, intestines, etc. & dump out all the blood
Step 9: if you want it, save the liver
Step 10: reach up under the sternum as far as you possibly can toward the throat. Grab the esophagus & windpipe. Sever them with your knife. Might want to take your jacket off at this point, since you're going to be in well past your elbow.
Step 11: Rip out the lungs & heart. Save the heart.
Step 12: Pound knife into bone between hind legs, break the bone
Step 13: very carefully remove the urine sack, & cut loose anything else holding the penis & testes to the animal. Toss over shoulder for good luck. (just kidding.)
Step 14: Drag animal that's has no lungs, no heart, no liver, no stomach, no intestines, no gall bladder, pancreas, colon, kidneys, or any of those other yucky bits remaining in him, back to the truck.
Step 15: Have buddy help you lift it into the truck.

If it comes back to life at this point, you've seriously fucked something up.
Click to expand...

That would be intense. I would have a horrible grimace on my face the whole time.. LOL.
 
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Wow, I've never even heard of people taking their deer out of the woods without first gutting them. You want those out ASAP to prevent the meat getting spoiled. There are plenty of deer processors around here too, but afaik, it's still expected that the guts are gone when they get to the processor.
Click to expand...

Most people here live within 10 minutes of where they are hunting so it doesn't take long to get home.
My brother actually uses a ATV to go behind his house, kill the deer and bring them home.

We have deer in the yards every night. No shortage of them 🙂
 

Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Step 3: starting just below the breast bone, slice a very shallow hole, just large enough to get 2 fingers through. Insert fingers, use them as a guide for the knife to go down the rest of the way toward the penis without puncturing any internal organs
Step 4: carefully cut around the penis & testes
Step 5: continue cutting back toward anus. Cut completely around the anus. Continue cutting any connective tissue until you can pull the anus & a few inches of the colon out of the back of the deer. Make sure that section of the colon is emptied (squeeze it out if need be.)
Step 6: cut through diaphragm, all the way down the sides.
Step 7: Cut up through sternum.
Step 8: Tip deer on its side, and carefully pull out the stomach, intestines, etc. & dump out all the blood
Step 9: if you want it, save the liver
Step 10: reach up under the sternum as far as you possibly can toward the throat. Grab the esophagus & windpipe. Sever them with your knife. Might want to take your jacket off at this point, since you're going to be in well past your elbow.
Step 11: Rip out the lungs & heart. Save the heart.
Step 12: Pound knife into bone between hind legs, break the bone
Step 13: very carefully remove the urine sack, & cut loose anything else holding the penis & testes to the animal. Toss over shoulder for good luck. (just kidding.)
Step 14: Drag animal that's has no lungs, no heart, no liver, no stomach, no intestines, no gall bladder, pancreas, colon, kidneys, or any of those other yucky bits remaining in him, back to the truck.
Step 15: Have buddy help you lift it into the truck.

If it comes back to life at this point, you've seriously fucked something up.
Click to expand...



Dr P, Do you keep the heart or liver?
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: zoiks
Too bad the deer was the one who died.
Click to expand...

it's either that or they die of starvation/disease because of overpopulation. which would you choose? the herd needs to be thinned by legal hunting or else it grows too large.
Click to expand...

Actually the insurance companies get involved too. They told the Nebraska Game and Parks they have 2 options. First is issue more permits last year for deer or two insurance rates were going up. There were seeing too many claims for accidents involving deer.

Of course your average sheeple have no idea how things work in the world and just think Bambi is being victimized by mean guys with guns........
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Step 3: starting just below the breast bone, slice a very shallow hole, just large enough to get 2 fingers through. Insert fingers, use them as a guide for the knife to go down the rest of the way toward the penis without puncturing any internal organs
Step 4: carefully cut around the penis & testes
Step 5: continue cutting back toward anus. Cut completely around the anus. Continue cutting any connective tissue until you can pull the anus & a few inches of the colon out of the back of the deer. Make sure that section of the colon is emptied (squeeze it out if need be.)
Step 6: cut through diaphragm, all the way down the sides.
Step 7: Cut up through sternum.
Step 8: Tip deer on its side, and carefully pull out the stomach, intestines, etc. & dump out all the blood
Step 9: if you want it, save the liver
Step 10: reach up under the sternum as far as you possibly can toward the throat. Grab the esophagus & windpipe. Sever them with your knife. Might want to take your jacket off at this point, since you're going to be in well past your elbow.
Step 11: Rip out the lungs & heart. Save the heart.
Step 12: Pound knife into bone between hind legs, break the bone
Step 13: very carefully remove the urine sack, & cut loose anything else holding the penis & testes to the animal. Toss over shoulder for good luck. (just kidding.)
Step 14: Drag animal that's has no lungs, no heart, no liver, no stomach, no intestines, no gall bladder, pancreas, colon, kidneys, or any of those other yucky bits remaining in him, back to the truck.
Step 15: Have buddy help you lift it into the truck.

If it comes back to life at this point, you've seriously fucked something up.
Click to expand...



Dr P, Do you keep the heart or liver?
Click to expand...

He eats the heart to increase his power level.
 
I clearly remember my parents friend, this crazy guy who had a farm up north. He used to hunt all the time and would skin and process the deer himself in the barn. I remember one time pulling up to his house, and as I got out of the car, I saw his dog come running at me with a big hoof and a piece of the leg in his mouth running up to me wagging his tail lol, with blood splattered all across his face and fur.
 
Originally posted by: RichardE
Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Modelworks
This happens quite a bit. It happens here once a year at least that someone throws a deer in the back of the pickup only to have it come alive on the drive home.
Click to expand...

Either
A: Bullshit
or
B: People in your area are doing it wrong

Allow me to explain:
Step 1: fill out tag for the deer that's laying on the ground, dead, in front of you.
Step 2: get out your *very* sharp knife.
Step 3: starting just below the breast bone, slice a very shallow hole, just large enough to get 2 fingers through. Insert fingers, use them as a guide for the knife to go down the rest of the way toward the penis without puncturing any internal organs
Step 4: carefully cut around the penis & testes
Step 5: continue cutting back toward anus. Cut completely around the anus. Continue cutting any connective tissue until you can pull the anus & a few inches of the colon out of the back of the deer. Make sure that section of the colon is emptied (squeeze it out if need be.)
Step 6: cut through diaphragm, all the way down the sides.
Step 7: Cut up through sternum.
Step 8: Tip deer on its side, and carefully pull out the stomach, intestines, etc. & dump out all the blood
Step 9: if you want it, save the liver
Step 10: reach up under the sternum as far as you possibly can toward the throat. Grab the esophagus & windpipe. Sever them with your knife. Might want to take your jacket off at this point, since you're going to be in well past your elbow.
Step 11: Rip out the lungs & heart. Save the heart.
Step 12: Pound knife into bone between hind legs, break the bone
Step 13: very carefully remove the urine sack, & cut loose anything else holding the penis & testes to the animal. Toss over shoulder for good luck. (just kidding.)
Step 14: Drag animal that's has no lungs, no heart, no liver, no stomach, no intestines, no gall bladder, pancreas, colon, kidneys, or any of those other yucky bits remaining in him, back to the truck.
Step 15: Have buddy help you lift it into the truck.

If it comes back to life at this point, you've seriously fucked something up.
Click to expand...



Dr P, Do you keep the heart or liver?
Click to expand...

He eats the heart to increase his power level.
Click to expand...

actually, it's rather tasty pickled.
 
Reminds me of that old lion hunting video when the hunter got attacked and almost killed when he got charged.

Great video.
 
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