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The Coolcoin Poetry Slam!

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
24,385
1,930
126
I think that it's time for another Coolcoin competition! This time, we're going to have a poetry competition to decide the winner. Here are the rules:

1) You need a write a poem (or pome, if you prefer) about a popular ATOT member
2) The poem needs to include a famous ATOT Meme, like "Bulk Beef", "Inflate To Sidewall", or "Cool with solution". If you are new here and not sure what those are, Google them I guess? You can choose any ATOT meme you like, as long as it's moderator approved.
3) Matching Microsoft paint illustrations are optional, but are encouraged!

The winner who receives the most likes for their poem by 9 PM on October 10th will be the winner of 100 (Now 250!) Coolcoin. I will not be voting until the end, just in case I need a cast a tie-breaker vote. Reminder, the first person who turns in 1,000 Coolcoin gets an epic Space Kitty t-shirt!

Good luck!

Edit: Congratulations to snoopy7548 for another commanding win!
 
Last edited:

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
106,479
21,582
146
There once was a man from Greer
Who often stored pomes in his rear
He put mustard on his pork
Ate it with a fork
And everyone thought that was queer.
 
  • Wow
Reactions: brianmanahan

snoopy7548

Diamond Member
Jan 1, 2005
6,849
3,718
136
The Tragedy
A Poem by snoopy7548

Oh, how the sun, shining
Through the windows after our sin
As the suit, crumpled, thrown into
The bin

1600558406237.png



Oh, who is that, laying
Beside me in stained sheets
Linen rumpled and strewn, my dearest,
My sweet

1600558119402.png




Oh, motionless, without breath
Could a kiss be our doom?
Lay still, please my love, as I run
My vacuum

1600558596322.png



Oh, the taste, sweet
Is the flesh whole?
Alone, dry, as I pour into
The bowl

1600559115976.png
 

EliteRetard

Diamond Member
Mar 6, 2006
6,490
1,019
136
I'll copy my previous response, maybe some day my joke will be funny:

I'm not an artist, so I decided to makes some Pomes instead.

1599769695463.png



By the way, what the heck is a Pome?

-----

POME

By Elizabeth Spires

From flowering gnarled trees

they come, weighing down

the branches, dropping

with a soft sound onto

the loamy ground. Falling

and fallen. That’s a pome.


Common as an apple. Or

more rare. A quince or pear.

A knife paring away soft skin

exposes tart sweet flesh.

And deeper in, five seeds in a core

are there to make more pomes.


Look how it fits in my hand.

What to do? What to do?

I could give it to you.

Or leave it on the table

with a note both true and untrue:

Ceci n’est pas un poème.


I could paint it as a still life,

a small window of light

in the top right corner

(only a dab of the whitest white),

a place to peer in and watch it

change and darken as pomes will do.


O I remember days….

Climbing the branches of a tree

ripe and heavy with pomes.

Taking whatever I wanted.

There were always enough then.

Always enough.



Source: Poetry (November 2012)
 
  • Like
Reactions: brianmanahan

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
24,385
1,930
126
I feel like making my own pome about myself. Mine will be a Haiku. It's even somewhat depressing and moody, like one would expect from urban hipster poetry!

Poor Ultimatebob
Still trying to plug Coolcoin
It will never work

sadubcoin.png


While I can't win my own competition, my haikus have won Anandtech competitions in the past. I have an AMD t-shirt to prove it! :)
 
Last edited:

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
52,348
4,730
126
nef

Today is a day

nef

Like any other

nef

Time for a lay

nef

How about your mother?

Alllllllllkemystified! :mic drop:
 

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
24,385
1,930
126
Snoopy seems to have a commanding lead in votes so far. Will someone else swoop in to claim the title Anandtech Poet Laureate? You still have about 2 weeks to enter a submission!
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
106,479
21,582
146
I feel that the subtle brilliance of my pome may be too specific to earn the praise that it very much deserves!

:colbert:
 

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
24,385
1,930
126
I feel that the subtle brilliance of my pome may be too specific to earn the praise that it very much deserves!

:colbert:
Perhaps you're just ahead of the curve, Zim. Perhaps they'll understand your true poetic brilliance 15 years from now when we're all riding around in self-driving electric cars!
 
  • Haha
Reactions: bbhaag

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
24,385
1,930
126
Hey now... I know that Snoopy's poem is good, but isn't anyone else going to accept the challenge and try to beat his entry?
 

highland145

Lifer
Oct 12, 2009
42,211
4,714
136
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Bob needs a pome
We know this is true

He's giving more money
He says there will be fun
Trying to build excitement
To an audience of one

If it was Ho's
If it was coke
That's a lot more fun
Ain't no joke

Even Alky
Drew more of an audience
Popping your Ma
At her naughtiest

Here we are
Zinfamous has had a say
But his pome sucked
Just like any other day

His feels butt hurt
Just like his balls
That girl ain't givin' it
For something so small

But the day is young
The man has yet poked his nose
Perk, Perk won't you
Give us some prose

Wait, wait there is a ginger
Maybe a bit short but still a keeper
Can't have Christmas or sing a song
But he's not the reaper.

Come on ATOT
Step up your game
Show the interwebs
That we ain't so lame



Yeah, that's a turd. What do I win? 😉
 
Last edited:

ultimatebob

Lifer
Jul 1, 2001
24,385
1,930
126
Nothing yet... now you need to convince people to vote for it!

I kinda liked it, anyway.
 
Last edited:

BudAshes

Lifer
Jul 20, 2003
13,200
2,184
136
121
The Tragedy
A Poem by snoopy7548

Oh, how the sun, shining
Through the windows after our sin
As the suit, crumpled, thrown into
The bin

View attachment 30189



Oh, who is that, laying
Beside me in stained sheets
Linen rumpled and strewn, my dearest,
My sweet

View attachment 30188



Oh, motionless, without breath
Could a kiss be our doom?
Lay still, please my love, as I run
My vacuum

View attachment 30190



Oh, the taste, sweet
Is the flesh whole?
Alone, dry, as I pour into
The bowl

View attachment 30191
hahah, alright that was worth some coolcoins.
 

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