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teacher, 72, arrested for furiously masturbating in high school hallway

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I LOLed at his mug shot:

Stamford-Police-Department.jpg
 
My girlfriend is always accusing me of masturbating in the shower. I just tell her I can wash *it* as fast as I want.
 
Not gay = let him off with a slap on the wrist and take away his male enhancement pills. And since he kept it in his pants and nobody actually saw anything, what's the big deal?

Gay = lock him up until he croaks (which won't be long anyhow) and send the 15 students who walked by and ignored him to sex counseling, in case they caught the gay, and find them each a lawyer to get a huge settlement from the school district which will at least pay for them all to go to college.
 
I saw a really old guy manipulating something under his pants in front of a few teenaged boys once. He was just outside of a retirement home, so I think someone accidentally let him loose. I seriously think they just lose their ability to care.
 
FINALLY! A story around a pervert teacher that isn't a horrible women molesting teenage boys. *deep sigh of relief* I was beginning to lose hope in the male gender.
 
Srsly, though, if this is out-of-character for him, given his age, I can think of potentially sad explanations like frontotemporal dementia, recent silent stroke, brain tumor, or other brain lesion that can cause frontal lobe impairment, reduced inhibitions, compulsive behavior, and hyper-sexuality.
 
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