Tales from the retail world...

[xanis]

Originally posted by: keird
Xanis,

Can't you bring your own stroller? I'm assuming that these strollers are for kids. Aren't they?

Yep, you can bring your own stroller, and in fact, many people do. I guess it's really in place for the out-of-towners who come her on vacation and don't want to bring one or more strollers on the plane or in the car. Whatever the reason is though, they still sell. We also have an online reservation system in place so that you can reserve strollers, lockers, and other amenities before you come to the park.

 

[Kalmah]

Originally posted by: Xanis
Another one, since the thread was bumped earlier this morning:

As I've mentioned before, I work at an amusement park as a supervisor. The other day we had 10,000 people come to the park (capacity is 15K, so it was fairly busy), so we sold out of strollers. One of my employees comes up to me and says, "This lady outside is yelling at me because we don't have any more strollers. She wants to talk to to." I go outside to talk to the lady, and the conversation goes a little like this:

Me: "Can I help you ma'am?"

Lady: "Yes, you guys ran out of strollers?"

Me: "That's correct."

Lady: "This is ridiculous! It's 1pm and you guys are out of strollers ALREADY?!"

Me: "Unfortunately, yes. I'm sorry."

Lady: "Well since you're out of strollers I want one of those electric carts, but I'm not paying $45 for it. I want it for the stroller price ($20).

Me: "I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm not allowed to do that."

Lady: "Ugh, this is ridiculous, I want to speak to your manager! Go get someone else!"

I go and get the department mangager. She comes out and tells the lady the exact same thing that I told her. The lady stormed off... but still came back later to buy a stroller when we had some. :laugh:

How does one own a child without owning a stroller?

 

[ajtyeh]

Originally posted by: Insomniak
<blockquote>quote:
Originally posted by: tRaptor
Note 6: YES I KNOW THAT IT IS: busy/cold/hot/slow/raining/loud/quiet/insert just about anything here.</blockquote>

Customer (walking down the aisle in front of me): *Enormous Flatulence*


I could continue coming up with these scenarios all night. The sad part is that as amusing as these little anecdotes are, they are not exaggerations in any way, shape, or form.

This one made me laugh. maybe because im still a kid

 

[ModerateRepZero]

- Woman booking it past the cashiers, out the door, and to her car with a cart full of toys. Cop saw the whole thing, casually walks over. She gets owned.

WINNAR! It always amuses me how cocky some people are....I mean really, you have a shopping cart full of groceries/toys etc. and you walk past the cashiers without any bags or hesitation? Unless you're Donald Trump and the manager's nearby clearing you, I sincerely doubt you can get stuff out the front door without paying

 

[Locut0s]

Originally posted by: ModerateRepZero

- Woman booking it past the cashiers, out the door, and to her car with a cart full of toys. Cop saw the whole thing, casually walks over. She gets owned.

WINNAR! It always amuses me how cocky some people are....I mean really, you have a shopping cart full of groceries/toys etc. and you walk past the cashiers without any bags or hesitation? Unless you're Donald Trump and the manager's nearby clearing you, I sincerely doubt you can get stuff out the front door without paying

They are cocky because that's also how you get away with it. People don't like to be shit disturbers. Unless you are 1000% sure someone stole something it can be really awkward to accuse them of any wrong doing. If the person looks really self confident and honest about what they are doing it gives you even further pause. Those few tens of seconds are all the shop lifter needs to get away with the stuff.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I have some customers who are obsessed with signage. The other day I was replenishing the fried chicken on the buffet line and a customer, who was further down the line, backs up with his tray to read the sign so he'll know what I'm replenishing....ya know, if you don't recognize fried chicken, I'm not sure I can help you.

 

[Locut0s]

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
I have some customers who are obsessed with signage. The other day I was replenishing the fried chicken on the buffet line and a customer, who was further down the line, backs up with his tray to read the sign so he'll know what I'm replenishing....ya know, if you don't recognize fried chicken, I'm not sure I can help you.

I had a customer once rip a bottle out of a 6 pack and bring it to the counter:

"Sorry miss we only sell those in a 6 pack"

"Yeah well then you should have a sign set up there!!"

 

[tasmanian]

Originally posted by: Locut0s

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
I have some customers who are obsessed with signage. The other day I was replenishing the fried chicken on the buffet line and a customer, who was further down the line, backs up with his tray to read the sign so he'll know what I'm replenishing....ya know, if you don't recognize fried chicken, I'm not sure I can help you.

I had a customer once rip a bottle out of a 6 pack and bring it to the counter:

"Sorry miss we only sell those in a 6 pack"

"Yeah well then you should have a sign set up there!!"

You should have a sign, if it comes in grouped packaging then the only logical conclusion is you must separate it from said packaging.

 

[Locut0s]

Originally posted by: tasmanian

Originally posted by: Locut0s

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
I have some customers who are obsessed with signage. The other day I was replenishing the fried chicken on the buffet line and a customer, who was further down the line, backs up with his tray to read the sign so he'll know what I'm replenishing....ya know, if you don't recognize fried chicken, I'm not sure I can help you.

I had a customer once rip a bottle out of a 6 pack and bring it to the counter:

"Sorry miss we only sell those in a 6 pack"

"Yeah well then you should have a sign set up there!!"

You should have a sign, if it comes in grouped packaging then the only logical conclusion is you must separate it from said packaging.

Wouldn't have helped the guy who wanted to pay me in stamps instead of money because he forgot to bring any from home:

"why not. You sell stamps right? If I pay you in stamps you are going to sell them again!"

Or the kid who wanted the $1.89 Candy cup for $1:

"well ..... can't you sell it to me anyway?"

 

[xanis]

Last year (at my current job) I was ringing someone up. She bought roughly $13 worth of merchandise. She paid in small coins (nickles and dimes mostly).

I probably already posted this one a year or so ago but... I was working in a different department at the same job. One day I was working at one of our small water attractions (long since demolished) which was a simple little maze. You could compare it to one of those mazes at McDonald's or any other fast food chain, except that it was all flat and it had water. Anyhow, the maze had a clearly marked entrance and exit. Children came and went through the maze as they pleased. I stood at the entrance to make sure that the height and age requirements were met, and also to make sure that kids don't come out of the wrong end. So I'm standing there and this guy comes up to me freaking the fuck out, saying that his kid was lost. I call another employee over to take the guy to the "Lost Parents" area so that they can make a park-wide announcement and find his kid. Before he leaves, I ask the guy if he was sure his kid didn't come out of the exit. He told me that he was sure that he didn't. Meanwhile, I knew for a fact that the kid didn't come out of the entrance. The guy finds his kid, and as I'm walking away to go on break, he comes up to me, gets right in face (about 6 inches away if not closer) and FREAKS. He told me that I was a fucking idiot and that he was going to kick my ass in the parking lot later. He even went so far as to get up close and put his hand on my chest. I told him that if he didn't step off immediately and that if I ever saw him again, I was going to alert the police officer in park and press charges for assault. Bear in mind, I was 15 at the time, first job, and this fuckwit decides that it's MY fault that he can't be bothered to pay attention to where his kid is for more than 2 minutes at a time.

 

[ModerateRepZero]

bump. I want more stories

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: ModerateRepZero
bump. I want more stories

You need to wait until after Christmas. There will be hundreds of them, I promise.

Already started seeing Xmas shit up the other day. I am sure this season will be the most angry and depressing yet. Just give it time.

 

[ModerateRepZero]

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ModerateRepZero
bump. I want more stories

You need to wait until after Christmas. There will be hundreds of them, I promise.

Already started seeing Xmas shit up the other day. I am sure this season will be the most angry and depressing yet. Just give it time.

and what if I can't wait that long?

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: ModerateRepZero

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: ModerateRepZero
bump. I want more stories

You need to wait until after Christmas. There will be hundreds of them, I promise.

Already started seeing Xmas shit up the other day. I am sure this season will be the most angry and depressing yet. Just give it time.

and what if I can't wait that long?

pop a xanax

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: Howard

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: Paladin3
I was reading for an hour before I realized this is a 3 ½ year old thread! Nice work!

I worked at a Kmart and at Christmas my job was to run the famous Blue Light around the store announcing ?attention Kmart shoppers, we have a blue light special for the next 15 minutes in sporting goods??. This was back in the price tag sticker days and customers would always try to sneak in non-sale merchandise to get marked down as well. Old lady shoppers would flirt with me (I was 19 at the time) trying to get a peek at my list of sales for the evening. If we only had a few of a popular items left it was like a mini door buster riot and things got ugly. I?ve never seen people fight over such crap in my life and I had to do it every 15 minutes for 4 hours a night.

We also couldn?t have a package or diapers, feminine products, underwear or socks on the shelf without someone tearing it open and stealing one. It got so bad we had to put a trashcan in the infants department because people would change their kids and leave the dirty diaper on the floor. I won?t mention the other gifts they left around for us to find.

We had a local homeless man we called the K-bum. Usually you smelled him before you actually saw him. He would browse the store for hours daily, never shoplifted that we could tell, and then always left buying something like a pack of gum or $0.50 nail clippers.

One customer got arrested for walking around the women?s department with his penis hanging out the fly of his pants. He told the police he had gone to the bathroom and ?forgot? to put it away.

One day a crazy lady comes in demanding that we give her a refund for a bottle of perfume. She has no receipt and the bottle is only about ¼ full. I wasn?t even sure the liquid in it was perfume, but my supervisor wanted to get her out so I went to do a price check. Turned out we had only carried that product once, two years ago at Christmas. No crack money for her that night!

The manager was cheap and didn?t trust anyone on the night shift to hold a store key, so the cleaning crew and the crew who straightened the store were actually locked in so they couldn?t steal. If they had an emergency they were told to break a window, but warned that the cops would be the first to respond so it better be a real emergency. Fucking amazing!

I worked at theme park in the games department back in the day too. We would amuse ourselves with a quarter and some super glue, until a group of mentally disabled adults from a local home found one we had stuck out on the midway. They took turns trying to pry it up until several of them were sitting on the ground crying. I firmly believe that when I die I will have to smoke a shit in hell for that one.

i would have broke a window and when the cops got and asked what was up i would tell them i was locked in and being help prisoner by KMart.

No, I don't think you would.

you dont know me very well. nobody locks me in a building especially my employer.

So you'd intentionally get locked in so that you could break a window? Give me a fucking break.

hummm, guess the cleaning crew who got locked in did it intentionally? you are as stupid as some of the customers people have written about in this thread. should i make a sign for you?

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: OCguy
When I was 16 I worked at Mc D's. Me and my buddy would go back into the freezer and just get blazed the whole time. By the time I had to actually interact with customers, I was ripped out of my mind.

Thats all I got.

lol i can relate. my first job when i was 16 (back in 1984) was at mcducks. one night went to work and saw the two guys i worked with sitting in one of their trucks. i parked on the other side of the restaurant and walked up behind the truck just to say hi. I tapped on the passenger window and scared the crap out of both of them. they were so focused on rolling their joints and filling their shoe box that they didn't see me. loose pot went flying and they were pretty mad at me. lol they were what we called back in the day hardcore stoners. i bet they still work at mcducks

 

[Fenixgoon]

god i just wasted like an hour reading so many of these :laugh:

 

[Beev]

I just spent the last week re-reading this whole thread. Good times.

 

[quakefiend420]

Originally posted by: Locut0s

Originally posted by: tasmanian

Originally posted by: Locut0s

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
I have some customers who are obsessed with signage. The other day I was replenishing the fried chicken on the buffet line and a customer, who was further down the line, backs up with his tray to read the sign so he'll know what I'm replenishing....ya know, if you don't recognize fried chicken, I'm not sure I can help you.

I had a customer once rip a bottle out of a 6 pack and bring it to the counter:

"Sorry miss we only sell those in a 6 pack"

"Yeah well then you should have a sign set up there!!"

You should have a sign, if it comes in grouped packaging then the only logical conclusion is you must separate it from said packaging.

Wouldn't have helped the guy who wanted to pay me in stamps instead of money because he forgot to bring any from home:

"why not. You sell stamps right? If I pay you in stamps you are going to sell them again!"

Or the kid who wanted the $1.89 Candy cup for $1:

"well ..... can't you sell it to me anyway?"

maybe the guy just got out of prison?

 

[quakefiend420]

and wow, what a long thread

funny though

i have nothing to contribute

 

[Ballatician]

Bump for epic FT thread.

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: Ballatician
Bump for epic FT thread.

:thumbsup:

 

[Exterous]

Originally posted by: MotF Bane

Originally posted by: Ballatician
Bump for epic FT thread.

:thumbsup:

x2

 

[Kalmah]

Today at my new craptastic office depot job I encountered this lady wanting to buy a laptop.

Here are some random excerpts from the conversation of what I can remember.

..."Why do I need an anti-virus? Is that like some pill I give it to keep it from getting sick"

..."What do I need a cd drive for?"
A: "So you can install software"
..."what do I need software for?"
A: "Why are you buying this computer again?"
..."I don't really want one.. my friend said I should just have one"
..."All I want to do is type.. I don't need megabytes or anything like that."
..."Three hundred dollars is way too much for a laptop I'm not even going to use!"


facepalm

 

[sjwaste]

I think this is my favorite thread of all time on ATOT. Thanks for the stories folks, post more if you have them.

The closest I ever got to retail was doing tech support. Not nearly as funny as this.