BoomerD
No Lifer
- Feb 26, 2006
- 65,902
- 14,301
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Damn, dude. I'm so sorry to hear this. Seems like it was just last week you lost your mom. I'm glad you guys got home for Thanksgiving one last time with your sister.
JM Aggie08
Diamond Member
- Jan 3, 2006
- 8,355
- 953
- 136
Sorry to hear that, man. The finality of the situation is a tough pill to swallow, but at the very least, the constant pain and uncertainty are nearing a close.
Hospice is fantastic, in my experience. They were incredibly helpful to my mother and grandmother. Wishing for the best.
Hospice is fantastic, in my experience. They were incredibly helpful to my mother and grandmother. Wishing for the best.
Geez that's a lot of stuff to deal with. Sorry to hear about that. And hospice staff are very special and wonderful people. To deal with that stuff day in and day out? Not something I could do
- Nov 21, 2001
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I took all day yesterday, and I'll putz around with the excavator outside for a while and head up to the gathering. Because she had purchased the family home from mom while mom was in it, she has possession of family stuff that she wanted to distribute today. That was scheduled before the scan and shit show, and is still on.
I'd like to take FMLA and just stay with her, but I don't think that would fly for them.
- Nov 21, 2001
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We gathered at my other sister's place today and unboxed family photos from way back and also more current ones.
She was doing OK but not eating, nauseous, sometimes dizzy, and always struggling for her words.
We went through a thousand pictures and shared a whole lot of memories. There were a particular few that really got us.
This is my brother Phil, loving uncle with our niece Ellie. A year after that photo he was gone, drowned on the day of his high school graduation. We lost Ellie to colon cancer in May '20
None of us recalled seeing that photo before and it got us.
That was somewhat offset by my big brother in his Grizzly Adams period
She was doing OK but not eating, nauseous, sometimes dizzy, and always struggling for her words.
We went through a thousand pictures and shared a whole lot of memories. There were a particular few that really got us.
This is my brother Phil, loving uncle with our niece Ellie. A year after that photo he was gone, drowned on the day of his high school graduation. We lost Ellie to colon cancer in May '20
None of us recalled seeing that photo before and it got us.
That was somewhat offset by my big brother in his Grizzly Adams period
- Nov 21, 2001
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We siblings went to my sister's apartment and went through boxes of family photos and memorabilia, some dating back before our mother. It was fun and we got out of there before she got too tired.
There was an old tin type photograph in there too.
We had several USMC medals there that could have been from either Bob, but 1 good conduct medal that was stamped with my dad's name.
There was an old tin type photograph in there too.
We had several USMC medals there that could have been from either Bob, but 1 good conduct medal that was stamped with my dad's name.
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- Nov 21, 2001
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They had a great neighbor who loved the kids, and he would park his tractor in our yard so my brother could sit on it and make tractor noises, without crossing the road and making my mom worry. He passed away the year after I was born so I never new Emmett.
My dad made a little pond to retain the soil at the bottom of the field, and one day all us boys including cousins had a mud wrestle in it. I remember we all stripped down and got hosed off with cold well water and the clothing laundered.
My dad made a little pond to retain the soil at the bottom of the field, and one day all us boys including cousins had a mud wrestle in it. I remember we all stripped down and got hosed off with cold well water and the clothing laundered.
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- Nov 21, 2001
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I saw this for the first time in a very long time, Dad's good conduct medal.
BoomerD
No Lifer
- Feb 26, 2006
- 65,902
- 14,301
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- Nov 21, 2001
- 22,704
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- 146
Yesterday started out with about 2 hours of sleep and 4 hours of carpal tunnel pain/numbness/burning. I went into the office and dropped the hammer, I was broken and needed fixing. I called a couple of my operator friends and one came through for me.
The high point was my friend and fellow operator showed up, and working with him for a few hours before leaving the job to him.
The day before I was working by myself, off and on the excavator and doing the grading and shoveling in the ditch, back on the machine, repeat. I blistered my hurting hand doing the shoveling and that probably was the last straw on the carpal tunnel.
I am running the work from home, via pictures and video and texts. He is doing OK.
The jobsite is as bad as I have ever seen. The material is completely unsuitable for backfill. I hit a greasy mud layer 3 feet down at the end of the deeper dig, and that slop was what I blistered my hand on. I cleaned it up to a firm base and put down a few inches of pea gravel and graded it yesterday.
nobody else was going to do it right, so I got in the ditch and my friend brought me the gravel at my direction.
The upshot? I will see a doc today and probably get evaluated for possible surgery and/or PT and time off. I consider it a forced sabbatical. Whatever works
We have date to see my sister on Sunday, " after church" LOL.
She is no longer taking walks with her dog due to the dizziness.
She saw the hospice intake nurse and put in the request for death with dignity medicine. Better to have it and not use it, because it will take a month to get it. FFS it should not take that long.
The high point was my friend and fellow operator showed up, and working with him for a few hours before leaving the job to him.
The day before I was working by myself, off and on the excavator and doing the grading and shoveling in the ditch, back on the machine, repeat. I blistered my hurting hand doing the shoveling and that probably was the last straw on the carpal tunnel.
I am running the work from home, via pictures and video and texts. He is doing OK.
The jobsite is as bad as I have ever seen. The material is completely unsuitable for backfill. I hit a greasy mud layer 3 feet down at the end of the deeper dig, and that slop was what I blistered my hand on. I cleaned it up to a firm base and put down a few inches of pea gravel and graded it yesterday.
nobody else was going to do it right, so I got in the ditch and my friend brought me the gravel at my direction.
The upshot? I will see a doc today and probably get evaluated for possible surgery and/or PT and time off. I consider it a forced sabbatical. Whatever works
We have date to see my sister on Sunday, " after church" LOL.
She is no longer taking walks with her dog due to the dizziness.
She saw the hospice intake nurse and put in the request for death with dignity medicine. Better to have it and not use it, because it will take a month to get it. FFS it should not take that long.
- Nov 21, 2001
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My work can be very physical and I inflamed my carpal tunnel the other day and filed a claim on it.
I took the paperwork to the employer today and they asked me " can you dig (operate the excavator)?", to which I replied, " I'd better not" due to the claim.
They are likely wondering if I am of any use to them, and I don't think they realize I am thinking the same thing
It was not my plan to retire at this moment, but it may be the right thing for me.
We are rallying around my sister in her last weeks or months, we really don't know how long she has but it seems to be going fast now.
It is nothing like retiring from mega-corporation, I am an hourly union guy. I can just quit for a while, then call the hall later in the spring and they can find me some work.
Will it be as nice as this job can be? Probably not. I have a company truck and a few pieces of equipment to operate and take care of, and a whole lot of freedom. I can use the equipment on my upcoming house build, for example.
The other side of that is I won't have to work alone and beat myself up on and off the equipment, doing two guy's jobs at the same time. That is how I got hurt and the likelihood that it will happen again is tipping the scales.
I called in a friend who is operating for them on the next few jobs. I don't have to make this call today or this year, for that matter.
The company equipment thing might save me ~$10,000 in rental fees. That is small potatoes in the big picture. It was more about convenience than anything.
I was shooting for late 2023 in my latest set of plans. It will mean ~$340 a month less, and whatever money we save in that period if I bail in January 2023. The money is not the thing, really.
I had to get that off my chest. Thanks for stopping by.
I took the paperwork to the employer today and they asked me " can you dig (operate the excavator)?", to which I replied, " I'd better not" due to the claim.
They are likely wondering if I am of any use to them, and I don't think they realize I am thinking the same thing
It was not my plan to retire at this moment, but it may be the right thing for me.
We are rallying around my sister in her last weeks or months, we really don't know how long she has but it seems to be going fast now.
It is nothing like retiring from mega-corporation, I am an hourly union guy. I can just quit for a while, then call the hall later in the spring and they can find me some work.
Will it be as nice as this job can be? Probably not. I have a company truck and a few pieces of equipment to operate and take care of, and a whole lot of freedom. I can use the equipment on my upcoming house build, for example.
The other side of that is I won't have to work alone and beat myself up on and off the equipment, doing two guy's jobs at the same time. That is how I got hurt and the likelihood that it will happen again is tipping the scales.
I called in a friend who is operating for them on the next few jobs. I don't have to make this call today or this year, for that matter.
The company equipment thing might save me ~$10,000 in rental fees. That is small potatoes in the big picture. It was more about convenience than anything.
I was shooting for late 2023 in my latest set of plans. It will mean ~$340 a month less, and whatever money we save in that period if I bail in January 2023. The money is not the thing, really.
I had to get that off my chest. Thanks for stopping by.
Captante
Lifer
- Oct 20, 2003
- 30,340
- 10,859
- 136
Always a pleasure!
Hand and wrist pain really sucks.... dexterity without pain is one of those things you don't miss until it's gone! (for me it's mild neuropathy)
- Nov 21, 2001
- 22,704
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I'm hoping to avoid permanent neuropathy. I might be too late we will see.
- Nov 21, 2001
- 22,704
- 5,824
- 146
I did a little cabinetry repurposing I posted in another thread, and then we came to Seattle to watch the game with my sister and brothers.
Sister's husband and son are at the game and we are spending precious time with her. It's a win-win.
We were sitting with my sister in the theater room of her apartment building, watching the football game. My nephew was there with their very happy 8 month old boy, and he was providing a nice soundtrack behind us.
She is having a harder time finding words now, but she piped up with some jabbertalk to the baby and that came out just fine. Some pure simple joy.
Sister's husband and son are at the game and we are spending precious time with her. It's a win-win.
We were sitting with my sister in the theater room of her apartment building, watching the football game. My nephew was there with their very happy 8 month old boy, and he was providing a nice soundtrack behind us.
She is having a harder time finding words now, but she piped up with some jabbertalk to the baby and that came out just fine. Some pure simple joy.
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pcgeek11
Lifer
- Jun 12, 2005
- 22,225
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- Nov 21, 2001
- 22,704
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The equivalent of a participation trophy in Little League.I have a few of those "I didn't get caught" Medals somewhere...
I can smile now, but both Bobs had severe PTSD from their time in the Pacific Theater, and they didn't hand out medals for that.
- Nov 21, 2001
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On Death with Dignity
My sister has made the request and done the requisite two interviews with doctors, and is waiting for the prescription to be filled. They build about a month delay into the process and that month is about up.
She is tired of all this and our assessment is she is likely to step out almost as soon as she can do it.
This has a different feel to it than the normal vigil. In any case you do what you can to take care of unfinished business and she and I don't have any. She is worried about her husband and son.
Waiting for cancer to take somebody, you make your goodbyes and then you wait. This is odd, unsettling. Nothing anyone can do will put off the end result, but she will be making a plan, saying her final goodbyes and going to sleep.
My sister has made the request and done the requisite two interviews with doctors, and is waiting for the prescription to be filled. They build about a month delay into the process and that month is about up.
She is tired of all this and our assessment is she is likely to step out almost as soon as she can do it.
This has a different feel to it than the normal vigil. In any case you do what you can to take care of unfinished business and she and I don't have any. She is worried about her husband and son.
Waiting for cancer to take somebody, you make your goodbyes and then you wait. This is odd, unsettling. Nothing anyone can do will put off the end result, but she will be making a plan, saying her final goodbyes and going to sleep.
Tsinni Dave
Senior member
- Mar 1, 2022
- 559
- 1,378
- 106
I hope all of you get the relief that you need in the end. Take care of each other, and I respect you all for standing by her wishes. Few of us will be able to choose the time, place, and people we get to say goodbye to.
Love to all of you.
BoomerD
No Lifer
- Feb 26, 2006
- 65,902
- 14,301
- 146
At least she has the option legally to end the suffering when she's had all she can take.
Cancer sucks. We went through similar stuff when my mom was dying in 96-97...without the option to end it legally.
All I can say is take whatever small pleasures you can from your visits with her...tey to remember her as she WAS, not as she is now. Remember the good, not the bad...let her know she is loved and will be missed. Try to take comfort that when she goes...at least she's finally out of pain.
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